


A Little Something Special

by SpencerRemyLvr



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Badly written accent, M/M, a little ooc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-18
Updated: 2014-05-18
Packaged: 2018-01-25 13:33:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 69,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1650431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpencerRemyLvr/pseuds/SpencerRemyLvr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a very AU slash Remy/Spencer story where I take Remy OUT of the X-Men world and throw him into the CM world. So, no mutants, no powers, no other X-Men, totally AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is considered AU for a few reasons right now. One, I’m taking a little bit of liberty with Spencer’s past. I mean, come on, who doesn’t, right? It’s so open in places that it’s just left to interpretation! Also, in my world here, couples can actually be homosexual, and those homosexual couples can marry. Gasp. I know, shocking, right? Psh. Sorry. I’ll climb off my soapbox now. This is not the place for that kind of rant ;)  
> Anyways! Here’s the thing that’s going to bother some people and so I want to get it out right here and right now. This is a Spencer/OMC slash story. The OMC is, for all intents and purposes, Remy LeBeau, aka Gambit from X-Men. But here’s the thing—he’s only LOOSELY based off of that character. There is absolutely NO X-MEN in this story. NO MUTATIONS. NO MAGIC POWERS. This is my take on a Remy LeBeau, as I think he would be if he was a normal person, no mutation or magic or anything like that involved. Basically, the character is mine, but he has the looks, name, and partial past of the Remy LeBeau in the comics. So, let me state now so I don’t get in trouble, I do not own Marvel, X-Men, or Remy LeBeau. (Nor do I own Criminal Minds or any of its characters—I wish!) So, really, for those X-Men people who are saying “Yay! An X-Men fic!” sorry :P For those that are CM fans that saw the X-Men label and started to panic, don’t worry. It’s not a part of the story. I just really happen to like the Remy/Spencer pairing and I’ve done Spencer in the Mutant world, area, genre…whatever. Now, it’s Remy’s turn to venture into the fan world of Criminal Minds. Squee! Enjoy.

Despite his earlier protests, Spencer had to admit that he was enjoying himself just a little bit. He leaned against the wall and smiled as he watched his friends joke and laugh around the pool table. Derek, Penelope, Emily and JJ had all gained up on him tonight and decided that he needed to get out of his apartment.  Though only Derek knew how bad it had gone, the others knew that Spencer had come out of a relationship three months earlier. Since then, he hadn’t really gone out all that often. Apparently that was unacceptable. When he reminded them that they all worked long, busy hours, he was unceremoniously told that it was no excuse for not getting ‘back out there’.

In their effort to get him out and socializing, the group had swung by his apartment and kidnapped him. But not before the girls picked out his clothes for the night and forced him into the bathroom to change, threatening to change him themselves if he didn’t do it himself. He’d never changed his clothes so fast before. Then they’d piled into two different cars and come to this bar that JJ said Will had introduced her to. It was a Cajun themed bar called _Lagniappe_. Spencer had to admit the bar was much better than many they’d gone to. Stepping inside was kind of like stepping into a piece of New Orleans right here in DC without going overboard like some places did when they tried to create New Orleans themed places. Of course, there were pool tables and dart boards, just like any other bar, and music played around them with that particular Cajun sound to it. A board at one wall showed a schedule that said they had live bands on Wednesday and Friday nights. There were lights and color all around, giving it more of a feel of a night club in some ways than a bar.

On one wall was a giant mural of New Orleans that was beautifully painted. Spencer had stared at it for a while when they’d first come in. There were other paints too, different parts of the city. With the bar against one wall, the rest of the bar/club was open, tables placed here and there and waitresses—or were they barmaids?—going to take drink orders and clean up empties. There was a stage to the far end where he imagined the band would play when they were there. This was a place with quite a bit of atmosphere and he could see why people seemed to enjoy coming here. JJ said the place was generally busy whenever she and Will came.

So far, Spencer was having a good time. He’d already won two games of pool and was just about to win his third. That last bit had him smiling a little to himself. He stepped up to the table after Emily missed her shot and he quickly looked the table over, calculating everything in his head. He had two balls and then the eight ball left on the table. With years’ worth of practice, he shut out the noise around him and bent himself over his task.

Moments later he straightened up, a grin on his face, watching as the eight ball went right into the pocket he’d called. While Emily groaned and the others laughed, Spencer scooped up the money off the side of the table, grinning widely. “Good game, Prentiss.” He complimented her.

“Yeah, yeah.” She mock glowered at him. “I think Reid’s done playing for now.”

“Playing? Hustling is more like it.” Derek teased him.

The amusement on his face only brightened, making the others smile as well. This had been their goal of the night. They’d wanted to get Spencer out and get him smiling again. It seemed like he didn’t do it often enough anymore. Hell, with everything that had happened lately, with Spencer recovering from knee surgery and everything with Aaron and Foyet, none of them were smiling much. It was all finally done, everything with Foyet finished, and Spencer was off his cane, yet they were all still recovering. This night wasn’t just good for Spencer; it was good for them all. They needed to get away from the murder and depravity every now and again and remind themselves that they were all human.

Passing off his pool stick, Spencer looked around at his friends. “Anyone need a refill?” He offered. No one took him up on it. “Well, I’ll be right back, then.” He started to make his way toward the bar, listening to JJ declare “All right, my turn. Who’s up for getting beat?”

Before heading to the bar, Spencer detoured to the bathroom. He took a moment to take care of business and to splash a little water on his face. Looking in the mirror, he couldn’t help but smile. He was glad he’d let them bring him out tonight. This was good for him. Much better than sitting alone in his apartment yet again. He hadn’t realized how much of a funk he’d been in. Sure, he knew his breakup with Paul had taken its toll on him. How could it not? Just thinking about it was enough to bring the hurt and anger back to life inside of him. Before it could grow, he shook his head and forced it back down, determined not to let it color the rest of his night. He was here with friends to have a good time, not to think about Paul. They’d broken up three months ago and he hadn’t seen the man in over a month. He was not going to let him ruin this for him.

Unfortunately, fate had a different plan entirely. Just as Spencer left the bathroom, he heard his name. When he lifted his head he froze at the sight of the person moving toward him. There was no denying who that was. He hadn’t instantly recognized the voice, but he knew that face. Knew those bright blue eyes. “Paul?” Holy shit. He couldn’t believe it. Paul was here? Paul was really _here_?

At one point in time, Spencer had found Paul to be an attractive man. How could he not? Just a few inches shorter than Spencer, he was a little more solid than the young genius, though nowhere near as physically fit as someone like Derek. His blond hair was kept short, yet it suited his face, bringing out those eyes that were a bright, sky blue. From the first moment they’d met he had been a charming individual. He’d courted Spencer, taking him out on dates, drawing the shy young man out of his shell. Spencer had been hesitant about the whole dating scene and he’d been unsure of Paul at first. However, as time went on he fell for him a little more and a little more. When they’d taken that physical step, it had been great. Not the most soul shattering, yet still, great. Spencer had been happy. Until the day he’d answered Paul’s cell phone by mistake while the man was in his shower and had found himself speaking to a woman who claimed she was Paul’s _wife_. The fight that had come when Paul was out of the shower was burned into Spencer's memory.

“Spencer!” Paul stepped around one last person and then he was right there in front of Spencer, face to face for the first time in a month. “I thought I saw you back this way.”

Spencer instinctively took a step back from him. “What’re you doing here, Paul?”

“It’s a public bar, isn’t it?”

It was a logical answer and a very valid point, yet it felt off. Spencer looked at a face he’d once thought he was falling in love with and he saw something else flash over the features that had his stomach clenching. “Did you follow me here?” The words were out before he could think about it. As soon as he said them, he knew he was right. The ‘oh shit’ look that briefly lit Paul’s eyes was only confirmation. Jesus. He’d _followed_ him here! How much had he been following him? It had been bad enough when Paul had kept calling and he’d had to get his number changed. But to start following him? Spencer licked his lips and wished suddenly that one of his friends would come looking for him.

Paul’s expression turned innocent. He reached a hand out to brush over Spencer's cheek as he’d done countless times before. When Spencer jerked back, his hand froze and then dropped. “I just want to talk to you. You never answered my calls or my letters.”

“Because I told you, this is over. I’m not going to do this with you. Not here, not now. Not ever.” He’d tried being nice, he’d tried being calm about all of this. He’d tried to be the bigger person. But now…now he just felt angry. Angry and just a tiny bit afraid. “This is stalking, Paul. You can’t be doing this. You cannot follow me like this.”

“I just want to talk to you. If you’d just answer your calls. But you changed your number…”

“Of course I did. There’s nothing to talk about.” With great control, Spencer forced the words back, shaking his head. He was not going to do this. Not here, out in public like this. Not ever. He’d been this route and he wasn’t going to go down it again. “I’m not doing this. We’re done, Paul. Leave me alone, please. Don’t make this any more difficult than it already is.” That said, he turned to leave. He was stopped by a hand suddenly gripping his bicep, holding him in place. When he looked over, Paul had stepped close and was glaring at him, holding him by his arm. “Now dammit, Spencer, would you just listen to me?”

“Let go of me.”

“Not until you listen. Would you just let me explain things?”

He couldn’t believe it! Explain things? Paul wanted to _explain things_? “I don’t need an explanation. You have a _wife_! Go home to her and leave me alone.”

“Sandy and I aren’t together anymore, Spencer!”

“As if that makes it okay?” He let out a dry, humorless laugh, all his earlier good cheer gone. All he wanted now was to get free and then get home. He wanted to be anywhere but here. Anywhere that he wouldn’t have to stare at a person he’d thought he could trust. “I am not going to do this. Let. Me. Go.”

The grip on his arm tightened enough that Spencer winced and wondered if there were going to be bruises later. “Why won’t you listen to me?” Paul demanded.

Spencer was seriously contemplating just opening his mouth and screaming to draw someone’s attention towards them when a hard voice suddenly spoke up in a thick Cajun drawl at their side. “Is dere a problem over here?”

“No” Paul snapped at the same time that Spencer said “Yes!” and tried to jerk his arm free.

The man that had come up to them now took another step forward, turning to face Paul, his back to Spencer. “I suggest y’ let go of him. Now.”

“Listen, buddy, why don’t you butt out? My partner and I are talking here.”

Paul’s words seemed to roll right off the guy. He straightened up so that he stood at his full height, taller than the both of them, and he looked down at Paul. “It sure don’t look like he wants to talk to y’. Now either let go, or I’ll call security over here to do it fo’ y’.”

The grip on Spencer's arm loosened just the slightest bit from Paul’s shock and the young agent took full advantage of the moment to jerk his arm free. Quickly he interjected himself between the two. “Security won’t be necessary.” He reassured the man. Then he flashed hard eyes to Paul. “Go home, Paul. Go back to Sandy.” That said, Spencer turned to walk away. The man who’d come up now moved with him as if to make sure he was going to safely make it out of there. When they cleared the hall, the man touched his arm and gestured to the bar. “C’mon, let me get y’ a drink. On de house. Y’ look like y’ could use it.”

Honestly, he could. Spencer just nodded and followed him up toward the bar. They each took a seat off toward the end, away from some of the others. While his companion lifted a hand to signal the bartender, Spencer looked over and watched as Paul stormed his way across the bar and toward the door. God, this was just one hell of an addition to his night, wasn’t it? Why’d he have to run into Paul? _You’re going to have to do something about him. The calls were bad enough. But now he’s following you places. You know that’s not healthy. He’s turning into a stalker._ There was no denying the signs; not for a profiler. The only question was, what was he going to do about it?

A drink was suddenly being pressed into his hands, drawing his attention and making him startle slightly. His rescuer just held the glass steady and folded Spencer's long fingers around it. His expression was kind and his voice was gentle. “Here, _homme_. Take a drink or two. It’ll help to steady y’r nerves a little.”

“Oh. Uh, thank you.” Spencer took his advice, taking a drink off his glass without even bothering to look and see what was in it. The slow burn of good whiskey slid down his throat and into his stomach. After two drinks, he did feel a little steadier. However, that left room for embarrassment to start to slip in. He couldn’t believe he’d had to have someone come up and save him from that. It was mortifying! Looking over his rescuer, Spencer thought that the man must be employed here, even if he didn’t wear anything that labeled him an employee. He was just dressed in what looked like nice, dark jeans and a long sleeved black shirt with a red short sleeved shirt over it. But none of it carried the bar name on it. A manager, maybe? He carried himself with a certain confidence inside this place that suggested he was connected in here somehow and he’d offered the drink ‘on the house’. Keeping that in mind, Spencer nervously looked up, flushing only slightly. “I’m sorry about that. I didn’t mean to create any kind of trouble here.”

A smile curved the man’s lips, warming his face, making Spencer realize just how attractive of a face it was. Moss green eyes were locked on him and they held kindness to them, accented nicely by high cheekbones most girls would kill for. There were hints of lines at the edges of his eyes that came with his smile, telling Spencer he was someone who liked to smile a lot. “Didn’t exactly look like y’ was de one causing trouble dere, really.”

“Well, either way, thank you.” Manners kicked in and he added on “I’m, ah, I’m Spencer, by the way. Spencer Reid.”

“Remy LeBeau.” The Cajun replied. He executed a seated bow that had Spencer's lips curving. Okay, charming, too.

Spencer was a little more relaxed now and desperately wanted to change the topic off of this embarrassing situation. So he battered past the usual nerves that came at talking to someone new and he tried to steer the conversation away from this. “It’s nice to meet you. Do you, um, work here?”

To his surprise, Remy let out a husky chuckle. The handsome Cajun adjusted in his seat, turning his body so that he was facing Spencer more fully. His expression was open and friendly in a way that drew Spencer in. “Y’ could say dat.” Remy picked up his own drink off the bar, what looked to be a simple soda, and he hid a smile behind it. “I own de place, _mais_ I come here and work just like any of m’ employees. I believe no one should own something dey aint prepared to work fo’.”

So he’d been right. Remy _was_ connected here. Just, as more than a manager. Spencer moved his drink to one hand and turned his chair so he could lean a little more comfortably against the bar. “Well, let me say that you have a wonderful place here.”

“ _Merci_. It’s a nice taste of home fo’ me. Y’ should see de nights we get de local zydeco band up on stage. Dere’s just something about good zydeco music dat gets y’r body moving, _oui_?”

Without thinking about it, Spencer found himself doing what he always did—rambling. Facts came pouring past his lips. “Did you know that, though it’s argued by some, it’s commonly suggested that Zydeco derives from the French phrase _Les haricots ne sont pas sales_ , which, when spoken in the Louisiana Creole French, sounds as ‘leh-zy-dee-co sohn pah salay’. This literally translates as ‘the snap beans aren't salty’ but idiomatically as ‘I have no spicy news for you.’ Alternatively the term has been given the meaning ‘I'm so poor, I can't afford any salt meat for the beans.’ The earliest recorded use of the term may have been the country and western musical group called Zydeco Skillet Lickers who recorded the song It Ain't Gonna Rain No Mo in 1929.” As soon as he realized he was rambling, he cut himself off, a flush filling his cheeks.

However, Remy didn’t look the least bit bothered by his fact spewing. If anything, he looked…interested. “Really? I never really thought about where de name came from.”

That was all the encouragement that Spencer needed to continue. “There’s an alternative theory that suggests the term derives from the Atakapa Indians, who's forcibly enslaved women were well known for forming marital unions with male African slaves in the early 1700s. The Atakapa word for dance is ‘shi’ and their word for ‘the youths’ is ‘ishol’. Spaniards in 1528 were the first Europeans to contact the Atakapa and they translated ‘shi ishol’ as ‘zy ikol’. Four hundred years later, the mixed-blood descendants of Atakapas and Africans still do the synchronized swaying to the raucous music, but with a slightly evolved name: Zydeco.” He paused and took a drink off his glass, his cheeks still a little pink. Not quite sure if Remy’s look was stunned or curious, Spencer shrugged in embarrassment and said “Sorry. I tend to ramble a little sometimes.”

“ _Non, non_.” Remy hurried to say. “I don’t mind. I was just surprised dat y’ know so much about de music. I didn’t even know any of dat.”

“Oh. I read a book once when I was down in New Orleans for work.”

The mention of that town definitely peaked Remy’s interest. “Work took y’ to New Orleans? What kind of work are y’ in?”

His earlier moment with Paul was getting pushed further and further to the back of his mind. Here with this handsome man to talk with, who actually seemed to be genuinely interested in what Spencer had to say, he found he wasn’t thinking of his encounter in the hallway. All of his attention was focusing on his new companion. “I’m a profiler with the BAU. That’s the behavioral analysis unit in the FBI.”

For once, when Spencer said he was an FBI agent, the person he told didn’t look surprised. Usually people looked at him as if he were joking when he said that. Not Remy. If anything, he looked impressed. “What exactly is it dat a profiler does?”

The question held honest interest in it that Spencer responded to. “We study human behavior…” And he launched into an explanation of what exactly it was that a profiler did. He’d intended on only giving a basic description but Remy asked questions, drawing more and more out of him, until Spencer found himself deeply engrossed in a discussion on profiling. He gave a few examples, telling him about past cases, and Remy asked more questions, seeming honestly interested in the answers. Never before had Spencer had someone who not only was actually listening to everything he said, but was asking for more! In a description of one case, Spencer happened to mention something that involved his memory and before he knew it, he was telling Remy about his memory and his degrees and how he was the youngest agent to join the BAU. Usually that kind of information embarrassed him to admit. However, he had no problem with it now.

How much time passed, he had no idea. He didn’t even notice when his friends looked around for him, concerned that he hadn’t come back, or when they finally spotted him. If he had seen, he would’ve been embarrassed by the way Penelope pointed him out and Derek grinned widely at what he saw. None of the others thought anything of Spencer talking to someone strange at the bar. Only Derek guessed there was anything behind it. Spencer was too caught up in talking with Remy to notice anything else at all, really. Conversation just seemed to flow between them. Talk of his education had led to Remy talking about his own education, surprising Spencer when he told him that he had a Master’s degree in Fine Arts, something that seemed out of place for a bar owner.

When he said as much, Remy nodded. “ _Oui_ , it is _._ I used to dream about being an artist one day. About selling m’ paintings, making a name fo’ m’self.”

“So how’d you end up in DC of all places, running a bar?” Spencer's curious question caused Remy to grimace slightly and the young genius reacted instinctively, flushing a little and hurrying to stammer out “Oh, I-I don’t mean to pry or anything like that. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. I’m sorry. That’s none of my business. I mean…”

“Spencer.” Remy reached out and laid a hand on Spencer's knee, the casual touch stunning Spencer into silence. He cut off the stream of words and looked down at Remy’s hand as it drew off his knee. Then he looked back up and found himself held by those striking green eyes once more. “Y’ don’t got nothing to apologize fo’. Y’ didn’t ask anything inappropriate. It’s just, y’ seem real nice and dis…dis is usually de part dat scares people off and y’ seem like a nice _homme_. Someone I’d really like to get to know. I don’t wanna scare y’ off.” Drawing his hands back in, Remy folded them in his lap and sighed. “ _Mais_ it’s better to get it out now if dat’s gonna happen. So, here goes. I gave up painting and bought dis business because I fell in love.”

That hadn’t been what Spencer had expected. He sat silently, sipping off the last of his drink, his eyes on Remy. Something told him there was more to this story. Remy’s words that this ‘scared people off’ had him worrying, yet he waited quietly, promising himself that he wouldn’t make any quick judgment. He watched Remy nervously tuck a strand of auburn hair behind his ear, one of the first nervous gestures he’d seen from him.

After a pause, Remy finally continued. “I went home after I got m’ degree and I met a _femme_ dere. Belle and I, it was all flash and fire. I was young. Stupid. We got married after just a month. Our families, dey didn’t approve of us, so we took all our cash and we hopped in de car and we ended up here of all places. I got a job here when it was just a regular bar, bussing tables. Took a bit but I moved up to bartender. Stocked away more and more money, saving up so we could go to Paris and I could study more fo’ m’ art. Den…den Belle got pregnant.”

Pregnant? Oh, man. Spencer's eyes widened slightly but he still said nothing.

“Everything changed with dat. Dere was no more going to Paris, no more traveling. De bar came up fo’ sale when Belle was just about due and I took de money we’d saved fo’ Paris and I bought de place, wanting to get m’self a steady income so I could support m’ wife and child, and with what was left I renovated de place and gave it a new name. _Mais_ , Belle and I, we were fighting by den. Dis was so much more dan we’d thought. We tried to keep things together once our son was born _mais_ de love was gone. De longer we stayed together, de angrier we got with one another. So, when Andrei turned one, we got a divorce. He just turned five a month ago. Dey still live in DC and Belle and I are _amis_ now, de way it should be, and I get m’ son every other weekend and she lets me come see him whenever I want.” Story done, Remy lifted his chin, very obviously bracing himself for Spencer's reaction. It was easy to see that he was braced for a negative reaction.

This was quite a story to take in, especially with someone that he barely knew. It surprised Spencer that Remy had come right out with all of this right up front. There weren’t many people that would willingly tell so much of their life to someone that they just met. However, he could see the logic in it, in a way. From what Remy had said at the start, finding out he had a son had apparently scared people off before. Maybe in his mind it was easier to just get this all out right up front around people than wait until later and have them run away then. That was something he could understand and respect. Though it did leave the implication that Remy hoped to see him again beyond tonight. That thought put a warm feeling low in his stomach. He barely knew the man, but the idea of seeing him again had Spencer wanting to smile. He found he liked that idea. He _wanted_ to see him again. And he could admit that, if they did see each other again, he would’ve been bothered finding out all of this further down the road. It was nice to have it right out in the open this way.

That warm feeling in his stomach grew and Spencer smiled shyly. “It’s nice that you two can be friends. That’ll make it easier on your son as he grows.”

Surprise flittered over Remy’s face. Then his expression smoothed out and his eyes warmed. A relieved smile stretched his lips. “We work much better as _amis_.” He paused and his smile grew a little bit. He gave a soft shake of his head. “Y’r not quite like anyone I’ve met, Spencer. Dat’s quite a story I just dumped on y’ from someone y’ barely know. Most people wouldn’t still be sitting dere.”

“I admire your honesty and I’m enjoying our conversation. Why would I leave?”

Remy chuckled and shook his head again. He reached out, giving Spencer's knee a quick squeeze. “Like I said, y’r not quite like anyone I’ve met.”

Heat filled Spencer's cheeks. Before he could stammer out anything, JJ slipped through the crowd and stepped up beside him. “Excuse me.” She said politely toward them. Then she turned her smile toward Spencer. “Hey, Spence, I hate to cut in but we’re all packing it in.”

Disappointment hit first. He didn’t want to leave yet. He was enjoying talking with Remy and he was enjoying the first real attraction he’d felt since Paul. Automatically he looked over at the man and he was surprised to see just a tiny hint of shyness on his face. Remy fiddled slightly with his glass but he kept his eyes on Spencer. “Y’ know, if y’ want, I could give y’ a ride home.”

There was something in that question, an invitation that Spencer had rarely ever heard turned his direction. “Are you sure?” Spencer's question carried a double meaning as well.

Remy didn’t hesitate to answer. “ _Oui_. I’m very sure.”

He looked at Remy and felt his lips curve slightly. “I’d like that.”

JJ gave Spencer a curious look. She didn’t protest his choice though. Simply gave him a quick hug and said she’d see him the next day at work. The two men didn’t break eye contact as she walked away. Spencer's agreement seemed to have taken some of Remy’s shyness away and that confidence that had been there earlier was back. Not cockiness. No, just a look of someone who was comfortable inside of his own skin. It was an attractive quality. It also served to settle the little bit of nerves in Spencer's stomach. He smiled back. By some mutual agreement, the two silently finished their drinks and rose from their seats. It surprised Spencer completely when Remy took his hand and held it, leading him through the crowd of people and over to the front door.

The cool night air hit Spencer, almost instantly making him shiver. He stepped just a little closer to Remy’s side, enjoying the hand that was still in his. The skin against skin was making him shiver in an entirely different way. Was he really doing this? Was he really going to take this man back to his place? One night stands were not his thing. Sure, he got lonely, just like everyone else did. When that need to feel alive, to just be touched by someone, had gotten too strong, he’d done the one-night stand thing once or twice and they’d just never left him with a good feeling. He eventually figured he just wasn’t the type to enjoy himself unless there was a relationship there. Yet here he was, preparing to take someone home knowing full well what was going to happen, and he didn’t feel any honest worry about it. He wasn’t nervous either. At least, not nervous about his decision. He felt right in his decision. He _was_ nervous about how it would go. When it came to his own body and his ability to please, he was always a little nervous.

“So, where exactly do y’ live at?”

Spencer turned to look at him and saw Remy watching his face. Flushing, he looked down at his feet while he rattled off his answer.

Remy stopped them alongside a motorcycle and Spencer swore he felt the muscles in his stomach quiver. He was already feeling the anticipation. What was it going to do to ride pressed up against the back of him on this machine?

Letting go of Spencer's hand, Remy moved around the bike to the car beside it. He unlocked the trunk and pulled out two helmets. “It’s a good thing I brought Missy in to work. I got a spare helmet on me today.” He turned and held one out toward Spencer, smiling at him. “Jimmy’ll take her home. He lets me store de helmets here in his trunk when I’m here. Y’ ever ride before?”

“Yes.” He took the helmet and swallowed past the little lump in his throat. In a moment he would be on that machine with his body intimately pressed against the back of Remy’s. Good God.

Heat and humor both flashed in Remy’s eyes as if he could guess what Spencer was thinking. He shut the trunk and pulled his own helmet on before climbing onto the bike. Spencer stared down at him for a moment, admiring the lean form. For the first time he noticed that Remy’s auburn hair hung a bit below his shoulders and was pulled into a ponytail. His eyes drifted down, taking him all in. While Remy looked slender, he was nowhere near as slender as Spencer was. There was definite muscle underneath those clothes.

The sound of the bike starting drew Spencer out of his thoughts. _This is your last chance to walk away. If you don’t want to do this, walk away now. Otherwise, get on that bike. For once, do something you want, not what you think you should or you think you have to. Do something for YOU. You want this man and he wants you and there is nothing wrong with doing something to keep back the loneliness for a night, so long as you’re safe about it_. He took a deep breath and pulled the helmet on his head. There was no way he was walking away now. He climbed onto the bike behind Remy, arms going around his waist to hold on, and it took everything he had to keep from making a sound when his body pressed up against the other man’s. Then Remy was taking his hands, pulling him closer and making sure he had a firm grip against his stomach, and Spencer's body was pressed flush up against him. As the bike took off into the night, Spencer battled to keep himself in control. It was going to be a long, torturous, wonderful ride.


	2. Chapter 2

Spencer had thought that maybe his nerves would come back once they got to his apartment. He thought for sure that he’d start to get awkward and shy and mess this whole thing up. But, miraculously, it wasn’t happening. Whether it was the alcohol he’d had tonight, or how strongly attracted he was to Remy, or the fact that he was alone and needing, he just didn’t know. It could’ve been one or all of those. Did it really matter? What mattered was that he felt not a single ounce of nerves even when Remy took his hand again. He felt none as he led the man upstairs and to his apartment or as he opened the door or even as he let him inside.

It helped that Remy didn’t seem nervous either. When Spencer shut and locked his door, he turned around and found that no, Remy didn’t look nervous in the least bit. If Spencer had to choose a word to describe the look on the Cajun’s face, it would’ve been _hungry_. He couldn’t believe a look so full of lust was directed at _him_! Spencer felt like an entirely different person right then and he found it was a feeling he liked. He felt confident. Desirable. His lips curved and he tipped his head just slightly. “Would you like something to drink?” He offered, manners kicking in slightly.

The heat in Remy’s eyes flashed a little. “ _Oui_.”

Together the two moved, closing the distance between them. They stopped when they were just a breath apart from one another. In that moment, Spencer could honestly appreciate the difference a couple inches could make. He had to tip his head up just the slightest bit. Not much; just a bit. It surprised him that it gave him a little thrill. Very rarely in life did he come across men taller than him. One of Remy’s hands came up and the first brush of fingers over his cheek had Spencer shivering slightly. “I t’ink I’ll take m’ drink now.” Remy murmured. Then he lowered his head those few inches and Spencer's eyes slipped closed to better savor the sensation of this first kiss.

That first kiss was always important. It was your chance to set the standard for yourself in the future and to kind of give a preview of what was to come. His first kiss, Bianca Sutherland, had taught him that when he was at Caltech. She’d taught him the importance of a first kiss and how to do it just right. She taught him to put as much as he could into a first kiss to entice the other’s interest while at the same time leave them wanting to come back for more. Ever since she’d taught him, that was what he tried to do. Up until today. This time, this kiss, he could barely even think, let alone try to use any type of skill.

They broke for air and he felt Remy’s lips move against his as the man said “Y’ taste s’ sweet, _mon chéri_.” Then he was pressing back in, a little more heat in this kiss and Spencer couldn’t help but gasp a little. The instant his lips parted, Remy’s tongue was there, tracing over his lips before darting inside. The low heat in Spencer's stomach was now spreading, warming his entire body. He brought his hands up, putting them on Remy’s waist. He needed something to hold onto. Something to keep him upright underneath this skillful assault.

When they broke apart again, both of them were breathing raggedly. The hand on Spencer's face stroked lightly before slipping back to run through his hair. He found himself lost in Remy’s eyes; in the way the green seemed to have darkened and the pupils were blown wide. This time he was the one to lean in and initiate the next kiss. A little harder, a little more heat, and he was rewarded with a low moan that he felt more than heard. He couldn’t hold himself back anymore and he moved his hands on Remy’s hips, slipping them underneath the hem of his shirt. He let out a low moan that Remy swallowed down when he found the Cajun’s smooth skin.

Spencer pulled back, letting out a little gasp when their lips separated. He hooked the bottom of Remy’s shirt and gave a tug that got Remy’s attention. The man understood. He brought both his hands down and grabbed his own shirts, pulling them up and over his head, and Spencer was rewarded with his first look at Remy’s chest. Despite the fact that he wasn’t a religious man, the first thing he thought of was _Good God_. The man was _beautiful_. As he’d suspected, there was muscle underneath the clothes. Plus all that golden skin, smooth and just begging to be touched. Spencer let his hands trace over Remy’s abs, fingers outlining the muscles, then slipping up and to his shoulders, his neck. God!

He’d been so focused on touching him that he barely paid any attention to Remy’s hands on his shirt, undoing his buttons one by one, until suddenly he felt the material open and Remy was pushing it off his shoulders. Spencer dropped his arms to let the shirt slip off and pool on the floor. For just a second a flash of his typical nerves came back, shyness trying to creep in, only to be chased away by the bright flash of lust that lit Remy’s face. “ _Dieu, mon chéri._ Y’r beautiful.”

Spencer couldn’t take it anymore. He took one of Remy’s hands and started to move, leading him back toward the bedroom. They were barely in the door when Spencer spun around and surprised the Cajun completely by wrapping his arms around his neck and taking another kiss, this one much more demanding. The heat took away any shyness. Spencer was caught up in the wave of it. He moved backwards, their lips locked together, until he felt his bed bump against the back of his legs. Then the two were tumbling and Spencer landed on his back, Remy’s body pressed over his, and they both groaned. Their kisses grew hotter, more demanding.

With a sigh of pleasure, Spencer did something that he wouldn’t typically dare to do, something that was so out of character for him. He stopped thinking, stopped analyzing, and simply gave himself over to the sensations. Later he could think this to death all he wanted. Right now, everything felt so good and he didn’t want it to stop. There was only him and Remy and that heat that was growing between them with each kiss, each touch, each glide of hand over skin. Spencer couldn’t keep from moaning at the feel of that hot, hard body over his. His hands came up of their own accord, tracing over Remy’s hips almost hesitantly. He felt Remy’s shiver and it made him bolder, long nimble fingers tracing over his ribs, indulging in feeling all that skin he’d been admiring. There were scars on the man’s back, some bunched together, some random. Spencer traced them all, growing bolder with each shiver and shudder that Remy gave.

Remy’s mouth broke free, traveling over Spencer's neck and down to nip at his collarbone, wringing a small gasp from the young genius that had Remy doing it again just to get that reaction once more. His mouth went lower and Spencer couldn’t help how he moaned when that wet heat closed over his nipple. His hands clutched for a moment at Remy’s back.

Spencer could barely breathe as Remy mapped his way down his body with tongue and teeth. Everything felt so good, so wonderful, and he wanted more, more, more! He brought his hands to Remy’s hair, pulling out the ponytail there so that he could thread his fingers in the soft locks, needing to touch yet barely able to gather enough brainpower to even think beyond the hot, wet mouth on his skin.

It wasn’t until Remy started unhooking Spencer's slacks, his tongue tracing over a prominent hipbone, that Spencer felt the flash of nerves try to rear up. He looked down at Remy, their eyes locking while Remy unhooked his lover’s slacks and slowly, carefully, hooked his thumbs in the waistband of them and the boxers underneath. Their eyes stayed locked as Remy drew them both slowly down his hips.

Spencer shivered under the heat in Remy’s eyes. He used that look to anchor on as Remy stripped him of the last of his clothes, pausing to pull his shoes off as well and drop them to the floor. And when they were gone, when he was lying there with nothing to cover him, he kept staring at those eyes, watching Remy’s face, watching as the man drew back just enough to look him over. The heat there, the way that Remy’s eyes flashed, they took his nerves and shoved them back once more until he didn’t feel anything but lust, heating him inside and outside. Those sensations gave him courage so that he moved his hands, cupping Remy’s face and drawing him back up for a kiss that was just a little more urgent, a little hotter. Need was filling him to the brim.

He felt Remy’s hands brace on either side of him as Spencer poured himself into the kiss. He slid his hands back into Remy’s hair, drawing him in closer, letting his body arch up. When Remy moaned, hips reflexively jerking at the friction Spencer was creating, the young genius took advantage of that moan to let his tongue come out, tracing the contours of Remy’s mouth. Remy met him heat for heat, the two of them almost dueling for dominance in that kiss, their bodies pushing against one another in a way that had them both panting slightly when they finally broke their kiss.

“Remy.” He ran his hands down the man’s back, letting his nails scrape gently over Remy’s spine. “I need you.”

Those three words sent an arrow of heat straight through Remy. He sucked in a breath and his eyes widened for a second and then he was kissing Spencer once more. Spencer let his hands slide around and down, snapping the button on Remy’s jeans. When he slid the zipper and found only warm flesh under his hand, he couldn’t help moaning. Remy wasn’t wearing anything underneath his jeans. Jesus. It was more than Spencer could resist to slide those jeans down just enough that he could lift his hand and wrap it around that hard flesh, wringing a gasp from the older man. A soft hum of pleasure came from Spencer; the man was well built. Remy broke their kiss, his forehead dropping to press against Spencer's. “ _Dieu_.” He breathed out as Spencer stroked him. A shudder ran down him and his hips twitched, pushing into Spencer's hand. Then, to Spencer's surprise, Remy was pulling his hand away. “Y’ keep dat up, dis is gonna be over b’fore we even start, _mon chéri_.” He lifted his head, eyes locking with Spencer's. “Tell me y’ got supplies in here, Spencer.”

Supplies? It took Spencer's overcharged brain a moment to realize what he meant. Oh! “In the nightstand.”

To get to it, Remy had to move his body off of Spencer's, something that made them both moan a little at the loss of heat. Yet Spencer had to admit, it was worth the view as he watched Remy stretch over toward the nightstand. As he did, he also took advantage of the moment and shimmed the rest of the way out of his jeans, giving Spencer one hell of a view that the young man most definitely enjoyed. His breath caught at all that skin revealed. It only took a second and then Remy was back, lips locking on Spencer's once more for a hard, fast kiss. Remy broke the kiss to murmur against his lips once more, his words unintelligible.

Spencer's hands were on Remy’s back, sliding down to cup his backside, pulling their bodies flush and making them moan loudly as they pressed together intimately, hard flesh against hard flesh. Spencer kissed him, passion taking away anything else and leaving behind nothing but that burning, aching _need_. That need for _more_. Unashamed, Spencer let his legs fall open a little more, letting Remy slip down between them, their bodies pressing together even more intimately. Spencer couldn’t help how he moaned at that. It had been too long since he’d felt this kind of heat. Too long since he’d been touched like this. His body was on fire! “Remy, I need you. Please. Please.” His skin felt hot, stretched too tight over him. Every touch, every kiss, was building that fire more and more. The sweetness they’d started with was morphing into a need so strong it was all they could think of. Spencer surrendered himself to it, letting it blaze inside of him, this fire that was stronger than anything he’d ever felt all because of this man he’d never met before tonight.

Vaguely he heard the small pop as Remy opened the bottle of lube and then the man shifted, a hand reaching down between them, and something cool was against his skin, tracing around his entrance. At the same time that he pushed a finger in, Remy took Spencer’s lips once more, swallowing down the throaty moan that Spencer let out. God! It had been so long since Spencer had done this that it took a second for that first finger to slide in. He pushed down against it, welcoming that feeling of fullness, using the kiss to distract himself from the burn. The initial pain faded after just a moment as his body adjusted.

One finger turned to two and Spencer broke their kiss to drop his head back against the bed. The burn was there, making him shudder. He felt Remy stop and then those fingers were moving, sliding in and out of him, scissoring to stretch his body until Spencer started to push against them and it was all he could focus on. Then those fingers twisted and curled and rubbed against that place inside that had Spencer’s whole body bowing. Remy had propped himself up on one arm and was watching him. “ _Dieu_. Y’ are so _beau,_ Spencer.” He added another finger, instantly moving them to Spencer’s prostate, stroking across it and making him moan and writhe, unable to focus on the burn beyond the pleasure.

“ _Please_.” The word came out as both a plea and a moan. “More, more, _more_.”

The fingers disappeared and Spencer moaned at the loss. That feeling didn’t last for a long. There was the sound of the condom wrapper and then a moment later his lover settled between his legs and was pressing against him, their eyes locking together as Remy pushed forward, sliding in that still tight passage, making them both groan. Spencer’s body shuddered and his hands gripped tightly to the sheets as that burn flared bright and painful at first. Inch by inch the man slid in, the both of them panting. One of Remy’s hands stroked Spencer's side, soothing him as Spencer whimpered slightly. When he was fully seated, Remy dropped his head down, their cheeks pressing together and bodies shuddering. He was holding still to give Spencer’s body time to adjust. Finally, with a needy whimper, Spencer moved his hips, begging for movement. Remy easily caught the hint.

Hands braced on either side of Spencer as Remy adjusted. In response, Spencer lifted his legs, wrapping them around Remy’s waist. And as Remy started to move, that burn went away and the pleasure was raging in him, consuming him. It was so much more than he’d ever known. He was on fire, burning from the inside out, the both of them burning. He moaned, not caring what he sounded like. His hips lifted to meet Remy’s thrust, twisting just a little, and he drank in the sound of Remy’s groan. It started out slow, with long, deep thrusts that had Spencer's body quivering and his legs trembling. Sweat built on their skin as Spencer tried to roll his hips, tried to get more, oh please more, and Remy was intent on drawing it out, savoring the tightness and heat and the absolute beauty of the writhing being beneath him. But then they shifted just right and Remy hit that place inside of him that had his whole body shuddering and a half moan, half scream came out before he could stop it and suddenly neither one of them could handle slow anymore.

Spencer couldn’t think. He could barely remember to breathe as Remy’s hands gripped his hips and he thrust, over and over, right into the same spot, slamming into Spencer’s prostate. He felt his orgasm building, a white hot heat that seared every inch of him until he felt like he was made up only of pleasure, mindlessly pushing up against Remy’s thrusts, begging without even realizing he was doing it. He was babbling, begging, his body rolling, hands coming up to clutch at Remy’s sweat soaked skin, his short nails dragging down and leaving welts behind. Everything in Spencer built and built, the pleasure blinding him until he saw nothing but those bright eyes above him, staring straight down into his. Then came that final thrust, that last hard push, and Spencer’s body bowed up and he screamed, his orgasm ripping him apart without Remy having ever had to even stroke his cock. He felt more than heard Remy groan, his hips jerking as he too was flung over the edge, carried away by the pleasure.

As the last of it faded, Remy’s body collapsed on him, pinning him to the bed. Spencer didn’t care in the least. He couldn’t even find the energy to lift his arms. He just lay there, content to have Remy’s weight on him, enjoying the after feelings still tingling in him. Without realizing it, he was smiling, turning his face to bury it against Remy’s hair. Though they both knew they should rise and clean up, they stayed where they were, content to simply lie there for the moment.

CXCX

It was just shy of eight when Spencer stood in front of his coffee pot wearing just a pair of sweats, pouring his first cup of coffee. He heard almost silent footsteps come up behind him before a pair of arms slipped around his waist. A smile curved his lips as Remy’s bare chest pressed against his back and the man nuzzled at his neck. “Morning, _mon chéri_.”

Spencer couldn’t help but chuckle. “Didn’t we already say good morning?” He teased, referring to about an hour ago when he’d woken up to Remy’s body stretched over his. The man had told him he was simply saying ‘good morning’ before he slid down Spencer's body and proceeded to show him just how good a morning it was.

Chuckling, Remy kissed the side of his neck. “Y’ complaining?”

“Not in the least bit. Coffee?”

It was both easy and comfortable for them to take their cups of coffee and settle down on Spencer's couch together. They took separate ends, turning in to face one another, their legs tangling together slightly. It felt, nice. The nice didn’t last long. No sooner had they settled in and both taken their first drinks than the phone rang. Spencer rolled his eyes but turned to answer it. He couldn’t bring himself to just ignore it when it was on the coffee table beside him. Plus, there was always the chance it could be important. With one hand he cradled his cup while reaching out with the other and scooping the phone up. He pressed the button before putting it to his ear. “Dr. Reid.”

 _“Hey, kid.”_ Derek said in way of greeting. Before he even said the next part, Spencer knew what was coming just by the tone of his voice. _“I just got a call from Jayje and I told her I’d call you. Sorry to ruin your day off but we’ve got a bad one. I’m getting ready right now. You want me to swing by and pick you up?”_

Spencer was sighing even as he started to rise off the couch. “That would be great. Are we heading to the Bureau or straight to the jet?”

_“She said they’ll brief us on the jet. This one sounds rough already.”_

“Just great. I’ll meet you in the parking lot in…twenty minutes?”

_“Sounds good. See you then.”_

He was in the kitchen when he hung the phone up. From the cupboard he pulled out a travel mug, setting it down on the counter by the pot. He’d have enough time to finish his cup and the next cup could go in his travel mug. He turned around and found Remy standing in the kitchen as well, leaning against the counter. Spencer looked at him and battled back the regretful little sigh that wanted to build up. He’d been looking forward to what could happen today. Just his luck that the first time he has plans on his day off, a case had to come up. “I’m sorry, Remy.” He apologized. “I have to go. A case just came in and Morgan’s on his way to pick me up.”

“It’s okay, Spencer. Y’ warned me it could happen.”

The nerves that he’d somehow been lacking all night long suddenly made an appearance, curling in his stomach and making his eyes drop to the floor. He’d been so brave, so confident all night long! Why did the blasted nerves have to come back _now_? He tried to push them down and screw up what remained of his courage to say something that was, to him, very important. “I uh…I’d like to see you again. You know, when I’m home once more.”

“I’m glad.”

The two simple words had Spencer's eyes snapping up once more. Seeing that his answer surprised Spencer, the other man smiled in a sweet sort of way. “I don’t do de one night stand thing really, Spencer. I like y’ and I’d really like to get to know y’ more.”

“Oh.” Spencer felt his lips curve. Those nerves faded away again. “I’d like that, too.”

It was almost twenty minutes later on the dot when the two strolled out together into the parking lot of Spencer's apartment building. Derek wasn’t there yet, so Spencer walked with Remy over to his bike, not quite ready to say goodbye yet but knowing that they had to. When they were standing beside it, Spencer felt slightly shy again. Remy lifted a hand, brushing his knuckles over Spencer's cheek. “I had a great time.” His voice was low and husky, his accent just a little thicker.

“I did too.” He bit his lip and looked up to Remy’s eyes. “I don’t…last night wasn’t something I typically do.”

“Well, I’m glad y’ made an exception.”

“So am I.” And he was. It was one of the most out of character decisions he’d ever made and one that he didn’t regret in the least bit. Once more he bit his lip, this time in contemplation. Then he gave in to his urge and he stretched up those few inches to press his lips against Remy’s. He felt the man’s hand close over his cheek, cupping his face, and Remy was returning the gentle kiss. When they broke apart, they were both smiling. Remy tipped in a little, brushing his nose against Spencer's. “Come to Lagniappe when y’ get back. I’m dere most every night, cept for when I have Andrei. _Mais_ dat aint till next weekend.”

“I will.”

One last kiss, just as gentle and just as sweet, and then he was stepping back to watch as Remy pulled his helmet on and climbed onto the bike. Remy flashed him one last grin before starting his bike. He was pulling out of the parking lot right as Derek’s car came pulling in. Spencer waited for the car to come to a stop before going up and opening the passenger’s door. He was barely inside before Derek started to tease him. “Look at you! Someone had a good night.”

How on earth could he tell? Spencer buckled his belt and cast a quick look up at Derek’s face. “What do you mean?” He stalled.

Derek snorted and put the car into drive. “Don’t even try it, kid. You’ve got that grin that means only one thing.” When the car stopped at the exit of the parking lot, Derek took advantage of the pause to flash a knowing grin toward him. “Plus, JJ said you were getting a ride home from the guy at the bar. Doesn’t take a profiler to pair those two together.”

“What did she have to say about it?” Honestly curious, Spencer shifted to better watch his friend’s face. He was a little concerned about what JJ might’ve said. While his friends all knew that Spencer had recently come out of a bad relationship, Derek was the only one that Spencer had told that his partner had been male. While he wasn’t ashamed of his sexuality, he didn’t openly advertise it either. Somehow he’d just never really been able to bring himself to tell his other friends that he was interested in men as much as women. _No, that’s an incorrect way to describe it. More accurate would be to say that gender does not matter to me. It’s the person I’m attracted to, not their gender._ The only reason Derek knew was because he’d stopped by Spencer's apartment once to pick him up and Paul had been there. He’d taken it very well, surprisingly. Spencer had always privately worried about Derek’s reaction the most, considering the man’s history. But finding out had changed nothing between them. Their friendship was still just as strong. Spencer just wasn’t eager to test that with the rest of his friends too.

Derek gave him a knowing look. “Don’t worry, man. They all just think you made a friend. Though,” His voice changed, laced with humor now. “if you don’t want them figuring it out, you might wanna do something about the huge grin you got going on.” He started to laugh when Spencer blushed, that smile still on his face. “Man, kid. I can’t believe it! I didn’t think you’d really take someone home with you. That aint really your style.”

“Remy’s different.” It sounded so cheesy when he said it out loud. Nervously Spencer reached up and tucked some hair behind his ear. He didn’t know how to put something like this into words. Derek was right; this wasn’t like him. This wasn’t really his style. But it had just felt different and right with Remy. “It was just…I don’t know. It was easy. I didn’t feel awkward or uncomfortable. It was easy to relax around him.”

“Well, good for you, Reid. I told you, you just needed to get outta that apartment. Aren’t you glad you came out with us?”

That brought to mind why he’d been hiding out in his apartment, which reminded him of what had happened. Spencer's grin wiped away and he battled back a grimace. When Paul had started calling incessantly, Derek had been the one that Spencer had gone to for help in getting his number changed and new locks on his door—the locks were just to be cautious. Ever since he’d found out what was going on, the older man had made Spencer promise that he would tell him if anything else happened. He really didn’t want to. He knew his friend wasn’t going to be happy about it. But a promise was a promise and, if he was honest with himself, he could admit that it would make him feel a little better to know that there was someone who knew what was going on and would be looking out for him. That sensation was so strange for him yet it was one he was steadily growing used to, at least with Derek. His best friend didn’t exactly give him a choice in the matter. Whether he liked it or not, Derek looked out for him.

He didn’t realize that his smile had faded away. Uncomfortable, he shifted some in his seat, fiddling with the strap on his bag. “Paul was at the bar last night.” He blurted out.

“What?” Derek’s voice instantly turned serious. “Did he do anything?”

Spencer shrugged one shoulder. “He wanted to talk. To explain, he said. Apparently he and Sandy aren’t together anymore.”

“Too damn bad for him. I hope you sent the bastard packing.”

“Remy came up, actually. That’s how I met him. He asked if there was a problem. Then he made Paul leave and took me to the bar to give me a drink to settle my nerves.” With a deep breath, Spencer made his nerves settle. “I was very clear with Paul. I let him know that them separating has nothing to do with me and that he needs to leave me alone. I think he got the message. But I did promise I’d tell you when things like this happened.”

“Kid,” Derek paused, sighed, and when he continued, his voice was a little cautious. “Maybe it’s time you take this to Hotch…”

“No!” Spencer interjected quickly. Was Derek serious? There was no way he was taking this to Aaron! “There’s no reason to tell anyone else what’s going on.”

“Reid, he’s stalking you. You know that as well as I do. All the phone calls and now this. If he’s following you places, he’s escalating.”

“I also know Paul. Just…trust me on this. I can handle him. I’m being cautious about this, Morgan. I’m not taking chances with myself. I just know him. When it becomes obvious that I’m not going to provide him with the attention to he desires, he’ll go back to his wife. Men like him follow a pattern.”

“You’re right, they do.” Derek took hold of that statement and turned it back around against him. “He’s a ‘Rejected Stalker’, Reid. What’s the profile on a rejected stalker?”

He couldn’t help but grimace. Derek had neatly turned that around against him. Spencer looked out the window, trying to look anywhere but at his friend while he answered. “Rejected stalking arises in the context of the breakdown of a close relationship. Victims are usually former sexual partners. The initial motivation of a Rejected stalker is to either attempt to reconcile the relationship, or to exact revenge for a perceived rejection. In many cases Rejected stalkers present as ambivalent about the victim and sometimes appear to want the relationship back, while at other times they are clearly angry and want revenge on the victim. This type of stalker may have high levels of narcissism and jealousy. They may also have feelings of humiliation, over-dependence, and/or poor social skills and a resulting poor social network. They’re often the most persistent and intrusive type of stalker and are more likely to employ intimidation and assault in pursuit of their intended victim. A history of violence in the relationship with the partner is not uncommon.”

“And how much of that profile does Paul fit?”

 _Too much. Way, way too much. He’s attempting to reconcile the relationship one moment and the next he’s furious that I’ve broken it off. He has always been the jealous type and ever since we’ve separated, he’s shown signs of classic narcissism that I’m amazed I didn’t see before. He has poor social skills—that was one thing that we bonded over. There was no real history of violence, not until the end. Not until that last fight._ “I know how it looks. I just, well, I just need to handle this on my own, Morgan. I promise, at the first sign of serious trouble, I’ll call you. But for now I need you to leave this alone and let me handle it. Please.”

It was obvious that Derek didn’t like what he had to say. It was equally obvious that Spencer wasn’t going to budge on this. The sigh that his friend let out was one of both resignation and annoyance. “Fine. But if I find out you’re hiding shit, I’ll kick your ass myself, got it?”

Amusement warmed Spencer. “Got it.”


	3. Chapter 3

Compared to how their cases sometimes went, this one was very much considered a win in their books. Though they hadn’t been able to stop the Unsub from killing the child he had already taken before their arrival, they did manage to rescue the next child that he kidnapped. They also gathered enough evidence to make sure that the Unsub wasn’t going to get away with what he did. So while they mourned the loss of one child and the damage that had been done to another, they celebrated that they were able to have saved this other child’s life. It had taken almost four days, but they’d done it.

They got back to the BAU in the late afternoon, giving them all enough time to wrap up their paperwork from the case. It was typical that conversation fell to what everyone planned on doing once they were done. Spencer only vaguely listened as Derek tried to talk Emily and Penelope into coming to a new club he’d heard of. He found his attention turning toward the same thing he’d thought about every time he’d had a little free time over the past four days.

Countless times he’d talked himself out of ever seeing Remy again. There were so many reasons that this was a bad idea. First and foremost was his job. Did he really want to not only put Remy at risk—and the job had proved its risk to those the team cared about time and time again; all someone had to do was look at Aaron for proof—but the man’s son and ex-wife as well? Because if anything _did_ grow from this, Remy wouldn’t be the only person that would be at risk. Anyone connected to him would be as well. Remy’s son was another reason he was hesitant. It wasn’t that he didn’t like children; he loved Henry! Children generally didn’t like him. And it was a big thing to date someone who had a kid. That was a lot of responsibility. He’d heard his friends talk about their dates before and about dating people with kids. You didn’t just date the parent. In a sense, you dated the kid as well. You couldn’t take on one without the other. Was that something he was willing to do? Another big reason was Paul. Not only would Remy be at risk because of potential work troubles, but Paul might cause trouble as well. If he escalated any further in his behavior, anyone he perceived as a threat could be in trouble.

“Who’s winning?”

The random question startled Spencer out of his thoughts and had him jerking his head up. He found Dave leaning against his desk. How on earth had the man gotten that close without him realizing it? He must’ve been deep in his thoughts.  Cursing his inattention, Spencer replayed the man’s question. His eyebrows furrowed down with confusion. “I’m sorry. What?”

Dave chuckled at his confusion. He turned a little, folding his hands in his lap. “You’ve got that look on your face my second wife used to get when she was having one of her internal arguments. So…who’s winning?”

Oh. Spencer dropped his gaze to his lap. For a second he debated trying to brush the man off. He couldn’t exactly tell Dave that he was debating whether or not to go out with some stranger he’d slept with! Then he decided that maybe he could talk to the man, so long as he didn’t say anything incriminating. It might actually do him good to get an opinion from an outside source. Decision made, Spencer sat back in his seat, eyes darting to the side quickly to make sure that Emily, Penelope and Derek were still occupied. They were. He started to fiddle with the pen in his hand while he looked up at Dave. “I don’t really know yet.” He admitted. _And isn’t that just frustrating!_ “There’s something that I want to do, yet my brain keeps pointing out all the reasons that I shouldn’t. Yet…I want to. I really, really want to. More so than I thought possible.”

If Dave thought his comment strange, he didn’t show it. That was one thing that Spencer had found he liked about Dave. The man may mentally dissect what you said to him, but he didn’t push the subject as others might. He’d just advise you as best as he could and only probe if he truly felt the need was there. The senior profiler took a moment, watching Spencer carefully before speaking up. “The logical choice isn’t always the right one, kiddo. Sometimes our brains tell us one thing and our hearts tell us something else entirely and we have to decide which one we’re going to listen to.”

“I’ve always found it safest to listen to my head.” Spencer admitted quietly.

“Listening to your head generally is safer. But listening to your heart, taking that risk that maybe you’ll be hurt and maybe everything will go wrong, you might find you end up with something a hell of a lot more than you ever thought. John F. Kennedy said ‘There are risks and costs to action. But they are far less than the risks of inaction.’” Rising from the desk, he clapped a hand on Spencer's shoulder. “You have to decide if you’d rather take the risk of action or suffer the cost of inaction, Reid. Sometimes it’s not about what can happen if you decide to do something. It’s what can happen if you decide _not to_.” With those words of wisdom, Dave walked away, leaving him to think.

Dave’s words played over and over in his head, making him think in ways he hadn’t before. A slow smile started to build on his lips. Once more something interrupted his thoughts. This time it was the sound of someone calling his name. He looked up and found Emily, JJ, Penelope and Derek all staring at him. The girls al looked curious while Derek had a knowing sort of look on his face. “You’re looking awfully happy, Reid.” Emily teased him. “Got plans for after work?”

Without him realizing it, his smile grew a little. “Actually, I do.” He sat forward and looked down at his desk, realizing he’d finished all his paperwork.

As he started to rise, Derek called over “I’ll give you a ride home, Reid. It’s a little late for the bus.”

“That would be fantastic, thank you.”

“So what kind of plans do you have there, sweetie?” Penelope asked. Her smile was just a little mischievous.

Spencer just pulled his bag over his head and smiled at the three women. “Have a good night. I’ll see all of you tomorrow.” He said politely. Then he and Derek were making their way out of the bullpen and Derek was chuckling lowly at his side. He reached out and ruffled his hair, making them both laugh as they went out the door, leaving behind three very amused women.

Emily was smiling even as she shook her head. “There’s something going on with Reid.”

“And Morgan knows what it is.” JJ added in.

 They watched for a moment longer while the two got into the elevator. Spencer's cheeks were red and Derek was laughing when the doors slid shut. The sight made Penelope smile. “Well, whatever it is, it’s sure making him happy. And after whatever happened with his ex, Reid deserves a little happiness.” She declared. Privately, she vowed to grill Derek at the first available opportunity. Something _was_ going on and she was determined to find out just what that something was.

CXCX

Closing his eyes, Remy stretched back in his chair, trying to work out the kink in his back. It had been a long day. Today had been his day for errands and it had been packed full of them. Not that he really minded doing them. He’d picked up some things for the house, things for the bar, and he’d even gotten in his grocery shopping, thankfully. Belle had threatened to beat him if she came by and found his cupboards so empty again. She wasn’t afraid that he wouldn’t be able to feed Andrei. She knew he’d pick things up to make sure that Andrei was fed. No, she worried that he wasn’t eating properly. Their friendship was unique and he knew that it most likely confused quite a few people who didn’t know them well. It worked for them, though. Their marriage had been all about heat. There was love there, yes, but not the everlasting kind, and that heat had faded. The love they had now worked perfectly for them. It was a friendly love shared between two people who knew it would never go any further than that.

His thoughts turned to his son and he couldn’t help but smile a little. He’d managed to get some time in with him today as well. The two had spent the morning at the park playing together while Belle had gone to her medical appointment. Remy had had a blast. He and Andrei had run around the playground like lunatics, played on the swings, gone on the slide, and indulged in his son’s favorite activity—building sandcastles in the sandbox. There was nothing Remy loved more than spending time with the little boy. Andrei was a happy-go-lucky five year old with Belle’s bright blue eyes and Remy’s auburn hair, only his hair held curls just like Belle’s did. He was one of the happiest kids that Remy had ever seen. Andrei seemed to find joy in everything. He’d smiled early and once he’d learned to laugh it seemed he found a thousand reasons to do so. Remy knew he and Belle had done quite a bit wrong in their time together, but they had definitely done one thing right. Andrei was their pride and joy.

Once they were done at the park they’d met up with Belle for lunch downtown and then they’d split their separate ways, both needing to run errands. Privately, Remy could admit to being grateful at having such a busy day. It kept him from thinking too much. Because if he stopped to think, his mind inevitably went back to one place.

Remy let out a little sigh and gave in to his own thoughts. He pushed his chair back a little and kicked his feet up on the desk, letting his head tip back so that he could stare at the ceiling. He was in his office at the bar and things were starting to get into the busy time out there. No one would come to bug him. He felt free to indulge himself just the slightest bit.

It had only been four days ago that he’d met Spencer, yet the man constantly cropped up in his thoughts. Their night together was burned into his memory, eager to be replayed at any opportunity. He couldn’t believe how much he was already thinking about him. At the same time, his brain was lecturing him on it, reminding him _You’re moving fast. That was what happened with Belle, too. It was all heat and flash and you two moved too fast._ But this…it was different. With Belle it had been fast, yes. He’d jumped in way too quickly. But looking back, he could admit now that it had really been all about the sex. They hadn’t been able to keep their hands off one another. Most of their time together had been spent in bed and that wasn’t something to base a marriage on. They hadn’t managed to find a friendship in there until after the divorce.

With Spencer, yes, he wanted the man. _Who wouldn’t_? That long, lean body, surprisingly strong and with skin as soft as a baby’s. The shaggy hair that got continuously in his face. Then those wide, brown eyes that just seemed to draw your attention and suck you right in. A mouth that simply _begged_ to be kissed. Yeah, the man was beautiful, there was no denying that. Even more so because it was obvious that he didn’t see it about himself. So yes, Remy wanted him. Again, who wouldn’t? But that wasn’t all he wanted from him. He didn’t want just sex. He was just as interested in the mind inside that body. When they’d been talking, Remy could’ve happily listened to the young genius ramble on and on for hours. He enjoyed listening to him, watching his face light up and his hands move as he got into something he was saying. He’d been happy just sitting there at the bar with him and talking about anything they came across.

They’d talked that night in bed, too. With the night air cooling their skin, their bodies tangled together in the sheets, they’d talked about random things. Nothing important. Just little things. It had been nice. Easy. Comfortable. And Spencer hadn’t been the only one talking. Remy had shared things too. More than he had thought he would. Spencer just had this way of looking at a person that left them feeling like he was honestly listening to their response. Not just listening to be polite or to make conversation but actively listening, as if every little bit of information was important. Remy had never felt so much like he’d been the center of someone’s attention before. It was too bad work had called him away in the morning.

He wondered how this case was going for him. It seemed like one hell of a job, to go out and catch serial killers. It was a little fascinating to think that people could take human behavior and pair it with little things left at a scene or in a crime and use it to build a profile that actually helped them catch the bad guys. From the sounds of it, the job was dangerous, too. However, he reminded himself that Spencer had said he’d been doing this for years. That had to mean that he knew how to take care of himself.

That thought had him wondering yet again if Spencer would find him when he got back from this case. Would he come like he’d said he would? At times Spencer had seemed so relaxed and confident in himself and yet at other times he’d been very obviously shy and unsure. Nervous, really. Would those nerves keep him from coming back? Remy hoped not. He honestly hoped he’d come back. No matter that this had come on fast or that it could end with them both being burned, Remy knew he couldn’t walk away. Not without seeing where it could go. When he did something, he went all the way. It was the only way he knew how to live.

Remy sighed and shook his head, clearing out his thoughts. Sitting here daydreaming wasn’t going to get him anywhere. He couldn’t help but chuckle at himself just a little bit. Mentally he started to lecture himself as he got up out of his chair and headed out of the office. Maybe if he was out in the bar he’d find something to do to occupy himself for the evening instead of mooning back in his office. He was acting like some infatuated teenager waiting for a crush to call. He was just shy of thirty years old! The last thing he needed to do was sit around daydreaming and waiting for some boy to come by. _You had one night with him. One absolutely fantastic night, to be sure. But still just_ one _night. Maybe that’s all it was meant to be. You’re not going to get your hopes up and just dive into this like some young, innocent fool. If he comes by, then good, see where it leads—a little cautiously, of course. If he doesn’t, get over it!_

Any effectiveness his lectures had went right out the window when he stepped into the main part of the bar. Like a magnet, his eyes were drawn to the bar; or, more specifically, one particular patron at the bar. A smile curved his lips and, though he didn’t know it, his eyes brightened slightly. He started to make his way through the crowd, exchanging greetings with those he knew as he went, never fully taking his eyes off the figure. That voice in his head that advised him to take this cautiously seemed to vanish entirely when he finally reached the bar and he could look at the face that had taken up so much of his thoughts these past four days. He slipped into the empty seat at Spencer's side and those captivating brown eyes turned to him and Remy knew there was no ‘cautious’ to it. “ _Bonsoir,_ Spencer.” He said with a smile.

Spencer's lips curved in an answering smile that reached up and warmed his eyes. There was that hint of shyness there that Remy had seen the last time as well as a guilelessness that wasn’t often found, well, in anyone anymore. “Hello, Remy.” His eyes traced down Remy’s body and then back up, making him shiver slightly underneath that gaze. There was a touch more heat there when they reached his face again. It was at contrast to the casual tone to his voice. “Are you working tonight?” A delightful little blush stained his cheeks and his eyes shot down towards the glass he was holding. “I mean, of course you are, seeing as how you’re here and such. Obviously that means that you’re working…”

 _Dieu_ , he was adorable when flustered! Remy reached out and laid a hand on his arm, cutting his rambling off before it could really get going. He’d noticed in their night together that Spencer tended to startle slightly at casual touching. Not that he didn’t like it. He seemed to like it okay. More, it seemed to surprise him. It did that now, surprising him enough that the flow of words cut off. Only when his eyes flashed back up did Remy speak again. “I’m not really working right now, actually. Today’s technically m’ day off fo’ errands and things like dat. _Mais_ I didn’t feel like sitting in m’ house alone, so I’m here, distracting m’self.” _Distracting myself from thinking about you, that is._

“Oh.” Spencer lifted his drink, taking a small sip off it. There was just a hint of a smile at his lips though. The shyness was still there, but it seemed to either fade or be pushed back just the slightest bit when he looked up again. What he asked next surprised Remy completely. “Would you like to play a game of pool with me?”

Now, that definitely hadn’t been what he’d been expecting. Pool? He wanted to play pool? Intrigued, Remy tipped his head to the side for a second. Then he let out a small chuckle. “Sounds like fun.”

Before they headed over to the tables, Spencer refilled his drink and Remy ordered one for himself. Then they made their way over. Luckily one of the tables was open. While Remy started to rack the balls, he cast a quick look at the man choosing out his pool stick. “So, how’d de case go?”

“Better than most, actually.” He walked over to the table with a stick in hand, a peaceful look on his face. “We saved a child.”

Remy straightened back up and smiled broadly. “ _C'est merveilleux!_ ”

“He’ll need a little bit of counseling and support, but I believe he’ll make it through this fine. He has a family that loves him and is very obviously willing to do what’s needed to support him through this.” He paused, grimacing slightly. “I just wish we’d been able to do it faster. We didn’t finally wrap things up until early this morning.”

Surprise had Remy’s eyebrows arching up. He stepped back, gesturing for Spencer to take the first shot. “Y’ just got back home today?”

“Mm hm.” Spencer bent over to take his shot, giving Remy a perfect view of his ass as he did. _And a fine ass it is, too_ he thought to himself. He tipped his head a little and watched the man’s form as he took his shot. He was distracted enough he almost missed what Spencer said next. “We got in late this afternoon.”

It took a second for Remy to process that as he was busy watching Spencer straighten and then move over and bend again. But then it clicked and he felt something in him warm a little bit. “And y’ came here tonight instead of home?” Once again, he felt like a teenager. The idea that Spencer came here instead of resting a night at home after a long case made him want to grin.

Spencer took his next shot and missed. When he straightened back up, Remy saw the blush in his cheeks again and he had a feeling that he knew what had messed up the younger man’s shot. “I said I’d come here when I got back.”

“And I’m so very glad y’ did.” Remy brushed a hand over Spencer's arm when he moved up to the table. A quick look at the table and then he was lining up his shot. “So, do y’ gotta work tomorrow?”

“I do. Barring another case, I’ll have the weekend off, though.”

Tomorrow was Friday, which meant he had a day of work before two days off. Now that was definitely a thought worth smiling over. Remy sank his ball and moved to line up for the next. “We’ve got a band coming in tomorrow night. Jazz, dis week. Dat usually draws in a big crowd so I’ll be working de bar with Jimmy. _Mais_ maybe y’d like to come and watch de show? If y’r off in time fo’ it.” Just for the devil of it, he paused before taking his shot, turning to look over his shoulder and flash a smile and a quick wink back at Spencer, enjoying the way it made him flush and the way he was obviously embarrassed at being caught staring. “And maybe afterwards we can go back to my place, _oui_?”

“That…that sounds nice. I, um, I really enjoy good jazz music.”

Amused, Remy looked back to the table to take his shot. He was enjoying these different sides to Spencer. The flustered, slightly shy side. The confident one that he’d shown at his apartment that night. They were so different and yet equally endearing. And then there was the intelligent side of him. That side came to the front now as a long ramble about different types of jazz spilled past the young man’s lips. Some of the facts Remy knew and some he didn’t, though he honestly found them all interesting. He caught on to one fact at the end, though, that really peaked his interest. “…My mom always enjoyed the emotion to jazz. It was one of her favorite things to listen to. That was why I opted for saxophone lessons instead of the standard piano lessons.”

“Y’ play de sax?”

Spencer nodded and moved forward for his turn at the table. “I do. It’s been a few years but I still have my sax in the closet. Do you play?”

“I play a little guitar, me. Some violin. I was always more interested in painting m’ art dan in playing it.”

“What’s your preferred medium for your art?”

Now that was a topic Remy had no problems talking about. Art was always an easy subject for him. “Dat depends on what I’m working on. Fo’ most things I like to paint. Occasionally, I like to play with charcoal, maybe fo’ a portrait or something.”

Spencer straightened up from the table and stepped back, looking at him with genuine interest on his face. “Do you do portraits often?”

“When de mood strikes me. Mostly, I paint whatever catches m’ eye. Sometimes it’s a landscape, or a cityscape. Sometimes it’s a couple sitting on de bench at de fair. Sometimes it’s a dog napping with a child at de park…”

Talk of his art always got Remy going and now was no exception. Spencer didn’t just take simple answers, but drew more and more out of him, asking detailed questions that Remy eagerly answered. Because of that, his attention wasn’t fully focused on the game and he almost lost track of things until Spencer called out the pocket for his final shot. That stopped Remy in mid-speech. He stood still, watching as the young man took his shot and sunk the ball right as he’d called it. When he straightened back up, he had a small smile on his face, but good humor was bright in his eyes. Remy stared at him for a long moment before shaking his head and grinning. “Y’ hustled me.”

Spencer was all innocence when he held a hand up. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Like hell y’ don’t. Y’ distracted me with talking about m’ art and y’ done wiped de table with dis Cajun. Y’r a sneaky one, Spencer Reid.” Smirking, he strode forward. He gave the man a quick look over before letting his eyes settle on Spencer's face once more. “I t’ink I like dat about y’. Aint many dat can beat me in pool.”

“Pool is simple once one breaks down the physics of it.”

“Mm hmm.” Amused, Remy shook his head at him, unable to keep the smirk off his lips. “I’ll remember dat de next time I play against y’. Y’ aint taking me by surprise again, cher. Fo’ now, what do y’ say we clear outta here fo’ a while? Maybe find somewhere with less people, _oui_?”

To his surprise, something flashed over Spencer's features and the man clearly grimaced. It was enough to have Remy freezing and his smile wiping away. Had he misread him? He watched as Spencer's eyes dropped down and the young genius chewed at his bottom lip. There was a pause as he visibly gathered himself and then, eyes still down, he spoke. “Can we talk for a minute, first? There’s uh, there’s something I’d like to, to talk about first.”

That didn’t sound good. Not at all. “Um, _oui_ , we can do dat. C’mon.”

The two put their cues back and then Remy led them over to an empty table off in the corner. The bar was busy, so they couldn’t be totally private, but this would do well enough. Here was most likely the best that they’d be able to get. He and Spencer took their seats, sitting directly across from one another. Remy settled in and wrapped his hands around the soda he still hadn’t finished. He couldn’t help but worry about this. Whatever it was, it had Spencer looking so nervous and uncomfortable. His arms were resting on the table, his glass cradled between his hands, and he had his head bent down and was staring at his drink as if it held the answers for him. Worried, Remy reached out, touching his hand. “Whatever it is, just say it, Spencer.” He said softly.

Spencer breathed out slowly before nodding. “Okay. You were honest with me right from the start, Remy. I owe you the same courtesy. There are some things I think you need to know before we take things any further than we have. Things I need you to take very seriously.” He took a deep breath and steadied himself. “Being involved with someone in my line of work, it isn’t easy and, and sometimes it, well, it isn’t safe. The team and I, we go out and hunt some of the worst monsters that mankind has. And sometimes, those monsters hunt back.”

Realization was dawning on Remy. Now he knew why Spencer seemed so nervous. Why he had turned so serious. This _was_ an important subject. It was also one that Remy had already thought about. He’d thought about quite a bit the past four days, including the risks of being with someone who was an FBI agent. Just months back, hadn’t there been that case all over the news about a serial killer known as The Reaper who had come after an FBI agent and killed his wife? That was a very clear example of what could happen to someone close to these kinds of people. He didn’t get a chance to say his thoughts yet, though. Spencer wasn’t done talking.

“There’ve been cases that we’ve handled over the years where those that we hunt found a way to come after us as well. Where the Unsub attacked us personally, either directly or through our families. Because of that, we’ve had losses. I, I don’t want you walking into this, not knowing that. Not only is there you that you have to look out for, but your son as well, and I understand entirely that it’s a, a huge risk and I would understand if it’s one that you don’t want to take…”

This whole time Remy had left his hand over Spencer's. He squeezed now, drawing his attention. “Spencer, Spencer.” His voice was pitched slightly soft, just a little gentle. He curled his hand around Spencer's fingers, drawing it away from the glass, and he fixed his eyes on Spencer's downturned face. “I’ve already thought about dat, Spencer. I’ve thought about quite a few things de past few days. I won’t deny de risk dat’s dere. _Mais_ …I aint gonna let de fear of what could happen ruin de chance of something else. Something much more wonderful. If de day comes dat something happens, den we’ll deal with it den. I trust dat y’ and de Bureau would do anything to keep me and _mon fils_ safe. And I aint a pushover, neither. I have a gun in m’ house and I know how to use it. I know how to defend m’self.”

“Remy…”

“I’m not discounting what y’ say, Spencer.” He cut him off gently. “I know de risk is dere. I saw de Reaper case in de news. It’s not gonna scare me away, though. _D’accord_?”

Spencer's eyes lifted to him finally. As their eyes met, Remy held still, keeping his conviction strong. He met Spencer stare for stare, letting the young genius search his eyes .Whatever Spencer saw there must have eased his worries. The tension slowly faded off his face and a hesitant smile took its place. His hand turned just a little, their fingers lacing lightly together. “I think it’s my turn to say that you’re not quite like anyone I’ve met, Remy LeBeau.”

“ _Bien_.” Remy said with an answering smile. “It’s boring, being like everyone else. I’d rather be like me.”

“I’m glad you are.”

“ _Moi aussi_. Now, y’ ready to get outta here? I’m a little hungry for something better food dan bar food, I t’ink.”

Spencer's smile grew a little wider and he gave Remy’s hand a squeeze. “Let’s go.”


	4. Chapter 4

Much to Spencer's disappointment, he wasn’t able to get to Lagniappe the next night as yet another case came up that kept them out until Monday. However, he and Remy had exchanged numbers Thursday night and Remy had told him to call whenever he felt like, even just to chat. Surprisingly, they’d done just that, chatting a few times during downtime on the case. The idea was slightly foreign to Spencer. He didn’t know quite how to deal with a lot of this. Things just seemed…easy. Part of him kept wanting to question the easiness of this all. The rest was just going along for the ride.

Monday night when Spencer was tucked in his apartment, exhausted from the case and knowing that he needed to get sleep for work the next day, he still somehow found himself picking up his phone and dialing the numbers he’d memorized. He settled down into his bed, tucked beneath the blankets with only a low lamp for light. He didn’t realize that a small smile was already starting on his face, even before Remy’s voice answered on the other end of the line. _“Bonsoir, mon trésor. I was just thinking about y’.”_

“Oh.” A warmth spread through Spencer. A little nervous, he joked “Good thoughts, I hope.”

“ _Mais oui_.” Remy gave a husky little chuckle. “ _De best, Spencer_.”

That warmth grew and his nervousness faded. _How does he always manage to do that to me? He just makes my nerves fade away._ “You’re rather good for the ego, Mister LeBeau.” He teased.

“ _Glad to be of service, Monsieur Reid_.” They both laughed and Remy dropped the formal tone, his voice returning to normal once again. “ _It’s later dan y’ usually been calling. Is everything okay?_ ”

“Yes, everything’s fine. I just, we’re back home but I have work in the morning and so I was just lying here in bed and I, well I…wanted to…” Spencer's voice trailed off into an embarrassed little mumble.

“ _Quoi_?”

Sighing, Spencer laid his head back on his pillow and stared up at the ceiling. Blush heated his cheeks. “I said I just, I wanted to hear your voice.”

The line went quiet for a second and Spencer worried his lip, afraid he’d said too much, afraid of what Remy’s reaction was going to be. He was just about to stammer out something—what, he wasn’t sure—when Remy finally did speak. His voice was just a little bit thicker than before. “ _Now who’s good for de ego? Y’r de sweetest thing, Spencer.”_

“I wasn’t really trying to be.”

“ _Mais, I know. Dat’s what makes it so sweet. You don’t play games like others do. It’s one of m’ favorite things about you. You’re refreshingly honest_.”

Spencer smiled and let his eyes drift shut so he could simply enjoy their conversation. “I don’t see the need for the games that people play. Most of the time, I don’t understand them, either. If you enter into a relationship under false pretenses such as these ‘games’ create, then your relationship is nothing but a sham from the start. Then the person isn’t actually with you but with the persona of yourself that you’ve presented to them.”

“ _Exactly. I wanna know de person I’m with is de person I see, not some front dey put on because it’s what dey t’ink I wanna see.”_

“And if you can’t even trust them to show you who they really are, how are you supposed to trust them for anything else? There’s no relationship without trust.” A slight note of bitterness came in at the end of Spencer's words that he barely noticed. At least, not until Remy quietly asked “ _Is dat what happened with you and de homme from de bar?”_

It took just a second for Spencer to realize that Remy was talking about Paul and another moment to realize that his last comment had been a little too bitter, a little too personal. Obviously Remy had picked up on that. Briefly he debated brushing it off. He caught himself before he did, though. They were just sitting here talking about trust. He couldn’t go from that to dismissing an honest question. Plus, he figured Remy had earned that right to ask. Not just because he’d separated them that night, but because of everything since then.

Spencer hadn’t realized how long he’d been quiet until he heard Remy call his name. “ _Spencer? Spencer, y’ don’t have to answer dat. I wasn’t trying to make y’ uncomfortable or anything.”_

“No, it’s okay.” He hurried to reassure him. Once more his eyes opened, staring at the pattern in his ceiling. “Paul’s a, well, a _tender_ topic, I will admit that. But I think you’ve earned the right to ask about it.” That ache flared up, still present though not as strong as it had been. It was dulling slightly with each passing day. “Paul and I, we broke up three months and five days before that incident in your bar. Trust was a very big part of it. He…he was taking a shower here one night and his phone rang. When I answered it, the woman on the other end of the line ended up being his wife.”

Remy let out a low curse. “ _I hope y’ decked him_.”

“No.” Though Remy couldn’t know, his comment had Spencer wincing. “I confronted him when he got out of the shower. The fight was…monumental. There were quite a few things said on either side. I tried to get him to leave and he refused, so I tried to leave before we did something we could regret. Paul…grabbed my arm and flung me into the wall.” This time Spencer didn’t pause to listen to Remy’s curses. He spoke right over top of it, wanting to finish this. “I got up and, while he was apologizing repeatedly, I went down to my room and I pulled my service weapon out of the safe. I proceeded to tell him he could leave, or I would assist him in leaving. He left.”

“ _Merde_ , _Spencer_!” Remy exclaimed softly.

“It’s fine, Remy. For a while, I admit, he wasn’t getting the clue that I was done. He called, stopped by, wrote letters. But Morgan helped me to get my number and my locks changed. And I haven’t run into him since that night at your bar.”

“ _Makes me kind of wish I’d hit him_.”

The casual comment broke the tension and Spencer couldn’t help but chuckle. “Might I say I’m glad that you didn’t? I’m rather pleased with the way the evening turned out just as it was.”

He could hear the smile in Remy’s voice once more. “ _So am I, mon chéri. So am I_.” Then suddenly Remy was sighing. “ _I hate to do dis, mais I gotta get back in. I’m short one femme tonight, so I’m filling in on de tables. I was just starting m’ break when y’ called_.”

“Oh! I don’t mean to keep you.”

“ _I didn’t mind. I’m glad y’ called, Spencer. I like talking with y’_.”

“I like talking with you as well, Remy.”

“ _Sleep sweet, mon chéri. And maybe y’ dream of me a little in dat empty bed of y’rs, oui_?”

Spencer smiled. _That shouldn’t be too hard._ In a moment of boldness, he dared to say “I will, though I’d rather you were here with me.”

He heard Remy make some kind of soft sound that he couldn’t quite decipher. “ _I’d rather be dere too. Maybe y’ can come see me after work tomorrow? Come to de bar and den we’ll go get a bite to eat and go back to my place. I can make sure y’r up in time fo’ work de next day_.”

That sounded perfect. “Barring a case, I’ll be there.”

“ _Den sweet dreams, Spencer. I’ll be watching fo’ y’ tomorrow_.”

“Good night, Remy.”

When he hung up his phone, Spencer lay there for a long moment, still staring at his ceiling. There was a goofy smile on his face. Who knew something as simple as a little phone conversation could make him feel so good? Talking with Remy left him with a nice feeling inside of him. Holding that feeling close, he rolled over and set his phone on the nightstand, deciding to go ahead and try to get some sleep. He fell asleep with a smile on his face.

CXCX

The next morning when Spencer made his way into the bullpen at the BAU, his mind was still replaying scenes from his dreams last night. He had dreamed of Remy through the night and those dreams had left him waking up in one hell of a good mood, in more ways than one. There was a light feeling inside that had him relaxed and even smiling when he walked through the doors. There was only one person that he saw in the bullpen so far and that was Penelope. She was standing at his desk, her back toward him. Spencer paused for a second, blinking in surprise. What was Penelope doing at his desk?

Curious and just slightly amused, he walked over to his desk. When he got close she finally noticed him and she looked up with a bright smile on her face. “Oh, Reid! You’re here!”

“Good morning, Garcia.” He stopped by his chair, pulling his messenger bag off and setting it on the ground beside the chair where he usually put it. At the same time, it allowed him to step around her and see what exactly it was about his desk that held her attention. When he saw what was there, he froze. Right in front of her was a green, fluted vase, holding a bouquet of orange and yellow calla lilies and baby’s breath. There was absolutely no doubt in his mind who had sent these. No doubt at all. The arrangement was too specific. _They’re just flowers_ a small voice whispered. _Just flowers. No reason to get upset_. Only, he knew better. He knew it wasn’t a good thing for him to be getting these kinds of ‘gifts’. This was the exact arrangement that Paul had given him on their first date, down to the exact same vase and even the same number of calla lilies. If Paul was sending him gifts, that meant that he still wasn’t accepting Spencer's efforts to get him to back off. While he might want to ignore this, the profiler in him couldn’t.

He missed whatever it was Penelope said to him. His attention didn’t jerk back to her until she tentatively touched his arm. Then his eyes snapped up toward her face in surprise at the touch. She was watching him carefully, concern written in her eyes. “Reid, are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“I’m fine.” The automatic response. He was far from fine.

She knew it, too. It was written right there on her face for him to see. And apparently she wasn’t planning on letting him get away with it. “You and I both know that’s not true. Something’s been going on with you, sugar plum. You think we haven’t noticed, but we have. Now, you want to try that again, or should I go tell Derek about these flowers and how badly they shocked you? Because I bet he’d have a clue what’s going on.”

Surprise had Spencer's mouth dropping open. He found that, for a moment, he could only stand there and stare at her. Usually Penelope was the kind, gentle one. Yes, she was a master at getting information. That was part of her job. But she’d always been just kind and supportive to him. This was the closest she’d ever come to sounding like she was threatening him! More than that, he had a feeling she’d do exactly what she said, too! If she did, he knew he’d end up explaining himself anyways. Looking at her, he knew he couldn’t just ignore her concern. Instead of brushing it off or trying to find some way out of this, he found himself telling her “Not out here.”

She nodded as if that were completely understandable. With one hand, she gestured for him to follow her. Spencer did—making sure to take the vase off his desk and deposit it in the first garbage away from the bullpen—still not quite sure what he was doing. Was he really just going to go and spill his guts to Penelope after keeping quiet about all of this for so long? Sure, Derek said he was silly for keeping something like this from his friends. Not to mention that, out of them all, Penelope was the one he was worried the least about. But was he really just going to go and pour all of this out to her?

That appeared to be exactly what he was going to do. No sooner had they entered her office and she’d sat them down at the table than Spencer opened his mouth and found himself blurting out “I’m gay.” Almost instantly his cheeks flamed and he looked down at his lap as he corrected himself. “Well, technically I’m not gay. I’m pansexual, meaning that I’m attracted to a person, not to their gender. Gender is actually irrelevant to me when determining whether I’m attracted to someone else or not.”

“Okay.” Penelope said the word gently. “I mean, I’d already kind of figured that out, Reid. But I’m really glad you feel comfortable enough to tell me. But what does that have to do with what’s going on?”

Wait…what? Shock widened his eyes. “You’d already figured it out?”

“Well, yeah.” He looked up to see her smiling brightly at him. She reached out, patting his arm. “Honey, I figured it out pretty easily when I called you and I heard a man in the background. It was like two in the morning.” She didn’t even give him time to be any more flustered about it. All business, she brushed past this as if it weren’t even something important; as if it were simply a part of him she was so used to she didn’t worry at all about. That casual acceptance left him stunned. “Now, talk to me. I’ve been worried for you, sugar bean. You’ve been perking back up lately, getting more talkative and rambly and all Dr. Reid-ish, but those flowers look like they threw you for a loop.”

Still a little stunned by her casual and easy acceptance of his secret—and of the fact that she’d already known!—Spencer could only shake his head at first. How could he have thought that he’d ever keep anything from this woman? Penelope might not be a profiler, but she’d been around profilers for years. She was talented at reading her friends and at noticing when there was something going on with one of them. Just as she was very protective of them all. She treated them all like they were here babies sometimes that needed cared for—even Aaron and Dave. She already knew some of his secrets and she’d never betrayed those. He could trust her with this now. Spencer took a deep breath and looked up at her once more. “If I’m remembering the call you’re referring to, the person you heard in the background was Paul. The uh, the relationship I just got out of was with, with him. I found out that he was married.” Twice now in twenty four hours he had to say this. It brought back that sharp pang of hurt and anger in his gut.

“That _creep_!” Penelope exclaimed. She looked outraged. “I can’t believe it!”

“Yes, well, needless to say, that ended it for me. But Paul’s having a bit of a hard time letting go. I’ve changed my number and my locks and I’ve told him clearly to back off.”

“And the flowers?”

Grimacing, he looked away from her. To give himself something to do, he reached out and stole a sucker from the little cup on her table. She always had some form of candy here and she kept the flavors that she knew her ‘family’ liked. He selected a root beer Dum Dum and settled back in his chair. “That arrangement is an exact replica of the one he gave me on our first date. It’s not a good thing, him sending me gifts. Morgan’s not going to be pleased about this.”

“So he knows what’s going on, then?” She settled back in her chair as well, watching him carefully.

“He does. He’s the one that helped me change my number and such.” Realizing how that sounded, Spencer looked up from where he’d been fiddling with his wrapper, wide eyes going straight to Penelope. “I don’t mean to imply that I trusted him more than I trusted any of you, Garcia. It’s simply that he stopped by one time and Paul was there so that was how he knew and since he already knew, it seemed natural that he be the one I go to with this when it all started to happen. I trust all of you, truly I do. I’ve just had not so pleasant experiences when people find out the truth. I’ve had a few negative reactions. Seventy five percent of people committing hate crimes are under the age of thirty and one in three are under eighteen…”

“Reid, honey, it’s okay.” Penelope reassured him quickly. She was smiling when she cut him off. “Really, it’s okay. You’re not required to tell us everything. Goodness knows we all try to have something private with as much as we’re stuck together.” All of a sudden she froze and her eyes went wide behind her glasses. “Oh. Oh!”

Spencer furrowed his brows, wondering what had brought that reaction on. “What?”

“That boy at the bar! The one that gave you a ride home! Oh my gosh! We just thought you guys were friendly!”

Oh. Heat filled Spencer's cheeks and he looked down to his hands once more, twisting the wrapper again and again. He didn’t realize that some of the tension had slid off his face, or that his lips were starting to curve a little. She let out a little squeal at the look on his face and she rolled closer to the table. “Okay, spill the beans, genius boy. You can’t get that little smile and _not_ tell me about it. Come on! Spill!”

That was easy enough. He’d much prefer talking about Remy to talking about Paul. Plus, he found he wanted to talk about this with someone. Talking with Derek was one thing; that was another guy. It would be good to get a woman’s view on this. Spencer crossed one leg over the other and relaxed a bit, able to actually look up at her now. “His name is Remy and he’s from New Orleans. He has an accent thicker than Will’s and when he talks, he throws in the random word in Cajun French. It takes a little bit to catch on to what they all mean.”

“Sounds delicious! What does he do?”

“Actually, he owns the bar we were at.” He smiled at her surprise. “He was there because he likes to be more than just the owner. He pitches in and works a shift the same as the rest of his staff, even though he doesn’t really have to.”

“So he’s got good work ethic and a sexy voice. Is he cute? Have you kissed him yet?”

Spencer felt it as the heat rose to his cheeks. He couldn’t stop his smile from growing either. Was Remy cute? _Cute isn’t the right word. He’s gorgeous. Absolutely, sinfully, gorgeous. And we’ve done more than kiss. Much, much more._ He couldn’t say any of that to Penelope, though. He just couldn’t. However, he didn’t have to. He was blushing all the way up to his ears and that was answer enough for Penelope, who started laughing. “That’s it! I have got to meet him.” She declared, right as her door opened.

Derek smiled at the two of them when he walked into her office, shutting the door behind him. “Meet who?” He asked. Pausing by Spencer, he ruffled his hair, making Spencer duck down slightly to try to get away. One look at Spencer's blush and at Penelope’s grin and Derek’s own smile grew even more. “You told her. Way to go, Reid. I told you it’d be fine!”

“Of course it’s fine!” Penelope exclaimed. “Now, when are you seeing him again, Reid? I want to meet him. We should all go out to dinner together or something so we can see how he treats you. I have to make sure he’s treating you right.”

Spencer saw the excitement and determination on her face and he knew he wasn’t going to get around this one. “I’m not going to be able to dissuade you from this, am I?”

“Nope, sweet cheeks.”

He shook his head, but he was still smiling. He looked at her and Derek—who was still grinning broadly—and he couldn’t help but chuckle. “Fine. I’m supposed to go by Lagniappe tonight after work. Why don’t the two of you join me? I’m sure he’d love to meet you both.”

“Sounds perfect!” Penelope agreed at the same time that Derek nodded and said “Works for me, kid.”

Spencer could only shake his head once more. He felt a moment of sympathy for Remy. The man had no idea what was coming for him.


	5. Chapter 5

By the time Spencer walked into Lagniappe that night with his two friends, his nerves had returned and were swirling around inside of his stomach. He couldn’t believe he was doing this. Penelope and Derek had picked him up from his apartment not long ago, giving him just enough time after work to shower and change. When he’d come out to the car, Penelope had exclaimed over him, seeming surprised that he’d managed to dress himself without her input. Spencer still wasn’t quite sure if he should be insulted by that surprise or not. Didn’t she realize he’d been dressing himself for a long, long time? Or was she implying with her surprise that the way he usually dressed was not okay? He knew people tended to pick on his ‘professor clothes’. Remy didn’t seem to mind them, though. Plus, what he was wearing wasn’t that different from normal. He didn’t have his usual vest or tie, true, and his button up shirt fit him a little better than some of his others. It was a dark purple one that JJ had bought for him once.

The first thing Spencer noticed before he was even fully through the doors was the noise. Music was pumping and there was laughter and clapping. His friends were right with him as he made his way inside. Tables and chairs had been rearranged, leaving the same amount of seating just in different places and opening up a wide spot in the floor. There was a crowd ringed around that open spot, all of them clapping along with the lively Cajun music that was playing on the machine. In the middle of the floor were two people dancing what looked to be a quick two-step. Spencer stopped at the bar, finding a place to lean and watch through the crowd. When he realized who was out there, he couldn’t help but grin.

He saw Remy’s smiling face when the man twisted and turned with his partner, who happened to be a woman that looked like she wasn’t a day less than sixty, yet her feet were moving just as fast as his and she never missed a beat. Her skirt twirled around her as she moved and her cheeks were bright with color. The both of them looked like they were laughing.

“Would you look at that?” Penelope took a stool beside him, her eyes on the couple on the floor. “Look at them _move_!”

 _Yes, look at him move_ Spencer thought. A little hum built in the back of his throat. His eyes traveled over Remy’s body, enjoying the way he twisted and moved so gracefully with the beat, never faltering in a single step. That infectious smile of his was lighting up his face and his eyes were sparkling. There was a flush to his cheeks from the exercise that put Spencer to mind of other things that put that flush there. _How on earth did I get so lucky?_ That amazing, sexy man out there wanted him. _Him_. He had no idea what he’d done to earn something like that but he definitely wasn’t going to sit and question it. He’d be a fool to do so. No, he’d enjoy every minute of it.

The song came to an end and the two spun in a final flourish. Remy twirled the woman in and dipped her low. The whole bar lit up with applause. Remy straightened the woman back up and stepped back, bringing her hands up with his and pressing a kiss to the back of each of her hands. “ _Merci_ fo’ de dance, Penny-Lee.”

“Oh, thank _you_!” The woman, Penny-Lee, spoke with a warm southern drawl that spoke of Texas in her background. She gave Remy’s hands a squeeze. “You make this ol’ lady feel almost like a young thing again.”

“Old lady? Where?”

His teasing comment brought a laugh from her. She let go of his hands and smacked his arm. “Get on with you, scoundrel. Go charm someone else.”

With the start of the next song, a new couple took to the floor, starting what Spencer thought might be a jitterbug. He didn’t pay much attention. Most of his attention was focused on the bright eyed man that was making his way through the crowd, shaking hands and laughing with people along the way, even exchanging a hug here or there. About halfway through, Remy’s eyes lifted and seemed to unerringly go straight to Spencer. It did wonders for his ego, not to mention the way it made his stomach flip-flop, to see how Remy’s entire face lit up. “Spencer!” With a grin and a laugh, Remy quickly slid around the last few people between them and stepped right up to Spencer. He didn’t give Spencer a chance to stand up off his stool even before wrapping the younger man in his arms and hugging him. Spencer could only hug him back.

Remy pulled back and smiled down at him, one hand coming up to smooth some of Spencer's hair back from his face, murmuring something low in Cajun.

The moment was broken by a barely muted squeal. Remy’s eyebrows went up with surprise, his head turning to where Penelope and Derek both stood grinning at them. Spencer closed his eyes for a second. When he opened them again, he lifted his chin and turned a little on his seat. It gave him a nice thrill that Remy stayed at his side, one arm staying around his shoulders. “Remy, I’d like you to meet my friends and coworkers Derek Morgan and Penelope Garcia. Guys, this is Remy.”

All smiles, Remy stuck his hand out and shook each of theirs. “ _Mais_ , it’s nice to meet y’ both.” Then, with a charming smile and a bluntness Spencer was coming to realize was pure Remy, the man added on “I imagine y’all are here to check me out, make sure I aint some lowlife coming after y’r _ami_. And being who y’ are and doing what y’ do, I bet y’ got a whole list of questions fo’ me. So why don’t we find somewhere to go grab a bite to eat and talk proper like, _oui_? I’m more liable to answer y’r question with a full stomach. Y’ hungry, cher?” The last part he directed toward Spencer. “Dere’s a cozy little Mexican place about a block and a half away dat’s open till midnight.”

“That sounds wonderful.”

When Derek and Penelope both agreed, Remy smiled happily. He stretched around Spencer to lean over the bar, calling out to the bartender. “Oy, Lenny! I’m out fo’ de night. Y’ need anything, y’ call, _d’accord_?”

“Got it, Rems!” Lenny shouted back to him.

Straightening back up, Remy slid his arm off Spencer and held a hand out to him. “May I, _monsieur_?”

Humor brightened Spencer's eyes. “Indeed.” With his friends watching on, he put his hand in Remy’s and rose from the stool. Penelope was watching them with wide eyes and a giggle and Derek was shaking his head and grinning. He slung his arm around her shoulders and the two followed behind Remy and Spencer. The young couple kept their hands in one another’s as they walked in the crisp night air. Spencer found he liked that feeling. He liked the fact that Remy did it so naturally as well, as if it were a simple thing. Paul had never wanted to hold hands in public for fear of how people might react and Spencer hadn’t ever argued it.

Remy let his shoulder bump Spencer's, drawing his eyes. “ _Merci_ fo’ warning me y’ was bringing y’r _amis_.” He murmured in a low voice, trying to keep the two behind them from hearing. It wouldn’t be much of a problem. Spencer could here Derek and Penelope whispering behind them and Penelope’s soft chuckles.

“But I didn’t…oh.” Spencer bit his lip and looked down at his feet as they walked. _Duh, he was being sarcastic, Spencer._ His brain taunted him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think about it.”

“I can tell.” The sarcasm was gone from his words and there was just a hint of humor to them now. He squeezed Spencer's hand reassuringly. “It’s fine, _mon chéri._ Just, a little warning next time, _s’il tu plait_? I’d like to make sure I’m prepared. I’d like to make a good impression on y’r _amis_.”

The idea of next time, of introducing Remy to more people in his life, brightened Spencer. That meant that Remy would be around for that ‘next time’ and that was something he found himself immensely pleased with. “Of course.”

They came up to the restaurant then and a few minutes later the four were seated in a booth in the back corner, away from the other patrons. It didn’t escape Spencer's notice, or Derek’s, that Remy took the inside of the booth on the side by the wall, effectively putting himself into a corner and allowing himself a view of the whole restaurant. Remy’s smile said he’d caught there looks and was amused by it.

A woman brought them menus and offered to take their drink orders. When Spencer picked coffee, Penelope scolded him. “It’s a little late at night for coffee, Reid.”

“It’s not late.” Spencer protested, furrowing his eyebrows. “It’s not even nine thirty yet!”

Remy leaned in to Spencer's side, lowering his voice so the waitress couldn’t hear him as he murmured “Trust me, y’ don’t want deir coffee.”

Spencer's lips twitched at the obvious disgust in Remy’s low words. He fought back the smile and changed his drink order to a soda instead. Once the waitress had their drink orders, she left to go fill them while they perused the menus. Spencer slanted a look over to Remy. “So, what’s good here?”

“Honestly, de best way to do things is order de sampler platter. Dat’s what I usually get. It’s too big fo’ one so I usually take de leftovers home. Y’ wanna share one with me?”

“That sounds good to me.”

Derek and Penelope looked at one another and agreed to do the same thing. They had good timing as their waitress was back with their drinks. She took the order for two large sampler platters and then she was off once more.

Now that they had their drinks and were waiting for their food, Spencer knew the quiet that had settled over his friends was going to end. The two of them had been surprisingly close mouthed ever since they’d arrived at Lagniappe and Spencer just knew they were saving up all their questions. Remy’s expression said that he knew it too. He very deliberately settled into his corner of the booth, his hand casually coming to rest on Spencer's thigh beside him. Amusement was bright on his face. “All right, I’m ready fo’ y’. What would y’ like to know, _mes amis_? Ask me anything.”

“Not anything.” Spencer interjected quickly. There was no way he was giving them that much freedom. His cheeks turned just slightly pink and his eyes darted towards Penelope. “There are some topics I will draw the line at.”

Penelope laughed and reached over to pat his hand. “Calm down, sweetie. I’ll get those details out of you later. For now, why don’t you tell us a little about yourself, Remy?”

He nodded his head politely at her. “ _D’accord_. I’m Remy LeBeau, I’m twenty nine years old, and I was born and raised in New Orleans, Louisiana. I did de group home, foster system thing fo’ de first ten years of m’ life until Jean-Luc LeBeau adopted me.”

Now that was something Spencer hadn’t known. He held in his surprise and decided to just sit back against the booth and listen. If at any point things got out of hand, he’d step in. But for now he knew it was better to just let them go. Plus, he was interested to learn a little more about the man beside him.

“Let’s see, what else? I’ve owned Lagniappe fo’ five years now and business is steady, so y’ know I got a steady job and income. I aint a money-grubber. I’m divorced, _mais_ m’ ex-wife is m’ best friend. We have a five year old _fils_ together dat I see every other weekend and days between.”

“You have a child?” Derek asked with surprise, taking a guess at what the word ‘ _fils_ ’ meant.

“ _Oui_. And I told Spencer dat from de start.” As if that closed the matter, Remy took a drink off his soda and then continued on talking. “Let’s see. I’m not an alcoholic, though I like a drink now and again. I don’t do drugs. Quit smoking when Belle got pregnant. I aint never hit a partner in m’ life. _Merde_ , if I did, Tante Mattie and Papa both would fly up here and remind me of de manners dey raised me with. I don’t have any diseases. Did I cover everything?”

Penelope laughed outright at him. “I think I like you already.”

“Dat’s _bon_ , cause I think I like y’ too, and I definitely like Spencer.” Remy smiled brightly.

“So, I’ve got to ask, how does someone with a Master’s degree in Fine Arts end up owning a bar?” She asked curiously.

Spencer's mouth dropped open and his gaze snapped to his friend. Oh, man. Seriously? Had she seriously done it? “Garcia! You ran a background check on him?”

She didn’t look embarrassed in the least bit by her actions. If anything, she looked amused by his surprise. Rolling her eyes at him, she patted his hand once more. “Of course I did, Reid. You think I’m _not_ going to check out someone you’re seeing? If work’s taught me anything, it’s that you can’t be too careful! Especially with _you_. I’m not letting anyone get near any one of my babies without being checked out.”

He couldn’t believe this! Well, okay, yes he could believe she’d done it. That was a very Garcia-like thing to do. But did she have to so openly admit to it as if it were perfectly acceptable? Embarrassed, Spencer looked at Remy. “I am so sorry about this. Garcia’s our technical analyst and overprotective mother-hen. I should’ve figured that she’d run a background check on you.”

Remy rubbed soothingly at his thigh. To Spencer's immense enjoyment, the older man leaned in and gave him a soft kiss, the both of them ignoring Penelope's ‘awww!’ “Don’t worry about it. Dere aint nothing in dere I’m ashamed of.” He kissed him one last time and then settled back against the seat again. “As fo’ y’r question, I was tending bar to save money fo’ Paris when Belle came up pregnant. I ended up buying de bar with m’ savings cause owning a bar is a safer income to support a wife and child dan running off to paint in Paris, _non_? Aint regretted de choice even once.”

Their conversation was cut off by the arrival of their food. A long platter was laid on either side of the table. Spencer eyed the different foods on it and felt his mouth water. It all looked delicious. Beside him, Remy made an appreciative sound. “I’ve had an envie fo’ dis fo’ de past few days.”

“A what?” Derek asked.

“Envie.” Remy repeated. He furrowed his brows, gesturing with the fork in his hand. “It means, well, it’s like a craving. Something y’ want or something y’ want to do.” He picked up a taquito and bit off one end of it. “And dis is definitely something I’ve had an envie fo’. Dey’re delicious.”

For a few minutes the table was quite but for appreciative sounds as everyone started into their meal. It was actually Remy who finally broke that silence. When he paused in eating to take a drink, he asked “Can I ask a question, too?”

“Of course.” Penelope said.

“Why do y’all call one another by y’r last names? Y’ got perfectly fine first names.”

Derek was the one to field that question. “It’s a hazard of the job, really. We spend most all of our time together at work. When you’re traveling all over, or dealing with others in the Bureau you don’t really know, you’re always introduced by your title and last name. After a while, you just get used to hearing your last name all the time. It doesn’t feel professional or right to be visiting some station and having the people there call you agent or by your last name while your team around you calls you by your first. It would confuse people.”

“So it just becomes easier to use last names.” Spencer said next. “And since we do it all the time at work and that’s where the majority of our time is spent, it became natural to do it outside of work as well. After all the years we’ve been together it’s automatic now. The only one that’s different I think is Hotch. None of us call him Hotchner. He’s just Hotch.”

“And JJ.” Penelope reminded him. For Remy, she added “She’s the liaison for the team. She coordinates between the team and the departments they go to and she deals with the media. She also sorts through all the cases that come in. She’s going to love you. Her partner’s from New Orleans too. Reid and I are Godparents to their son, Henry.”

Now it was Remy’s turn to look over with surprise. “Y’r a parrain? Dat’s quite an honor. Y’all really must be close.”

Spencer nodded at him. “We are. Henry’s a wonderful little boy.”

“Godparents are a big part of de southern culture. I remember once, m’ _frère_ Henri, his parrain passed by to pick us up fo’ de afternoon…” And Remy launched into a story that soon had the whole table laughing. That seemed to brighten the atmosphere around the table and conversation flowed much easier from there on out funny stories being exchanged through the whole meal that kept them laughing. When the food was done and the plates were cleared, they were still laughing, only this time it was at Spencer's expense as Derek told a story about one of Spencer's many mishaps while working. “It really wasn’t his fault.” The man said with a chuckle and an affectionate look for his best friend. “I mean, we all know Reid goes somewhere else when he’s thinking. We just didn’t think to warn Prentiss. She was still getting used to us all. But Reid was pacing back and forth, trying to crack this code that just looked like gibberish to the rest of us, muttering away in that way he gets. A bomb could’ve gone off and he wouldn’t have noticed.”

“I would too have noticed!” Spencer argued. Still, he had a tiny little smile on his lips.

“Right.” Scoffing, Derek rolled his eyes and ignored him. “Anyways, all of a sudden he just froze and his head snapped up like someone decked him. Next thing we know he’s flying for the board and Prentiss just came around it with a bunch of folders for us and the two ran right into one another. Bam! Papers went flying _everywhere_!”

Spencer buried his face in his hands while everyone laughed around him. It was mortifying! What was worse was that he knew the story wasn’t done yet.

Smothering his laughter, Derek grinned at Spencer. “The two tried to get up and Reid here slipped on a paper and they managed to not only fall again, but slam their heads together at the same time. Hotch and I had to help them up so they wouldn’t cause any more accidents. Reid was apologizing and stuttering the whole time and what was it Prentiss told you, kid?”

“She told me ‘for the sake of my headache, I seriously hope you have some important answer, or I may have to hurt you, doctor’.” Spencer parroted. He was saved from even more laughter when the waitress brought their check over to them. Before anyone had a chance to react, Derek reached out and snagged it from her. He ignored all of their protests. “It’s my treat, guys. We can go out again sometime and we’ll split it up then but tonight’s on me.” And in that, he was discreetly letting Spencer know that Remy had passed his test, at least for now. He was giving his approval of the man.

CXCX

Spencer told Remy that once they were in the Cajun’s car and on their way to Remy’s house. He was curled up in the passenger’s seat, watching Remy’s face in the lights from outside. It was a handsome face; one that was easy to watch. “You know, paying for dinner was Morgan’s subtle way of saying he approved of you.” Spencer murmured. The darkness of the car seemed to call for low voices. “And Garcia obviously liked you.”

“I’m glad. I was nervous as all get out.”

“Really? I never would’ve guessed. You were so calm and cool.” Impulsively, Spencer let his hand reach over, curling it lightly around Remy’s thigh. “I really am sorry I didn’t think to call and warn you.”

“ _Je sais_. I know.” He translated his words when he saw Spencer didn’t understand them. “I know it wasn’t an intentional thing. It’s fine, cher. Don’t worry about it.” In the light from a passing car, Spencer saw Remy’s grin stretched wide and he could even hear it in his voice. “Y’ can make it up to me if y’ really want to.”

There was no mistaking _that_ meaning, even for Spencer. He knew he didn’t catch on to some of the subtle things people said but he caught this one. Lust sparked down low in his stomach. Deliberately he squeezed lightly at Remy’s thigh. “I think that can be arranged.” It amused him to see Remy increase their speed just the slightest bit.

Not much later, the two arrived at Remy’s house. It was Spencer's first time there and he stood for a second outside the car with his go-bag in hand, just looking at the place. The house was a single story with a short front porch. It was a three bedroom, two bath, Remy had told him. He’d converted one bedroom into a library/office, though. The other room was for Andrei and the last was the master bedroom. An arm slipped around Spencer's waist, making him startle slightly before relaxing into it. “C’mon, let me give y’ de tour.” Remy said.

Spencer let himself be led up the walk and, after a pause to unlock the door, inside the home. The very first thought he had when he walked into the living room was that this place just screamed Remy. The entryway itself was gorgeous. The whole floor was hardwood, but right as you stepped in there was a pattern of tiles made to look like an area rug. The outer ring was a dark blue/gray set of tiles. They were shaped like bricks, layered twice in a rectangular shape. Inside of that rectangle were reddish brown tiles in a Spanish style. Then into the living room was a large couch, a love seat, a recliner, a coffee table, and of course a flat screen TV; all the typical furniture for a living room. There was also a fireplace tucked into the corner.

The lights came on and everywhere he looked, there were warm colors and comfortable looking furniture and art. Artwork was everywhere. Pictures on the walls, a sculpture over in the corner of the living room, on the shelves of a bookcase. There was no doubt that the person who lived here appreciated art. More than the art, there were pictures. Almost all of the pictures contained a boy with curly auburn hair and stunningly bright blue eyes. They showed a progression from infancy to some that had to be recent. The pictures either showed him alone, or with Remy, or with a pretty blond haired woman, or with both of them.

“I know it’s a bit much fo’ just me.” Remy said, drawing him further in. “When Andrei’s here, though, de house just seems fuller. I wanted space where he could come to see me and we wouldn’t be cramped down in something small. Plus, I like m’ space. I like dat I’ve got a fully fenced backyard, sheltered by trees and such too dat makes it feel more private. Over here, dere’s m’ dining room and m’ kitchen.”

Those two rooms were open to one another, one bleeding into the other, with the kitchen counters turning to make a partial divider between the two that doubled as bar seating, three stools set at it. A large oak table and chairs took up the dining room, situated close, but not too close, to the sliding glass doors that led to the back porch. The kitchen itself was warm woods and granite and shining stainless steel appliances. Here it was obvious was a well-used room. It made Spencer smile a little to see the stereo on the counter, the multiple spice racks, the little planter in the window box above the sink, and then all the colored pictures hung up by magnets all over the fridge. The profiler in him could see that this room was used frequently and was most likely the hub of the house. That seemed to be how it was for families. Over the years Spencer had seen that in many houses he and the team had profiled. The kitchen was a center for families. It was where they cooked, ate, talked, laughed, cried.

The arm around him pulled a little and Spencer was led down the hallway. The first door on the left was a bathroom that Remy told him was Andrei’s bathroom. Directly across from it was Andrei’s room. Next door on the right was the office and across from that was a linen closet. Then, at the end of the hall, the last door was to the master bedroom.

The hardwood floors from the living room ran down the hallway and back to the bedrooms. Spencer took just a second to sweep his gaze over the room, drawing in the important details. The enormous king sized bed that dominated the room, the nightstands on either side, the large mahogany dresser against the far wall, the picture window with the window seat full of pillows, an enormous bookshelf on another wall, more art everywhere, a door that most likely led to a master bath, and a door that had to be a closet. All of that Spencer took in with a look. Then he turned to what actually held his attention; the man who still had an arm around him.

Spencer let his bag drop down to the ground by the wall before he turned himself in towards Remy. It was an easy move to bring his arms up and slip his hands under Remy’s jacket and around his waist. He splayed his hands over the man’s back, enjoying the way Remy’s hands moved to his hips and gave a little squeeze. “You have a beautiful home.” Spencer complimented him.

“ _Merci_.” A twinkle came into Remy’s eyes. “I t’ink y’ got more dan m’ house on y’r mind, though.”

“Hmm.” Tipping his head up just slightly, Spencer met Remy’s eyes, smiling at him. “Am I that obvious?” His voice was a low murmur, a slightly husky edge to it. How did Remy manage to do this to him? How did he make him feel so comfortable and bold all at once? He didn’t know but he loved it. With more confidence than someone would picture from the usually shy and nervous Dr. Reid, he slipped his hands over Remy’s sides, coming back to the front to slip up to his shoulders so that he could push at his jacket. Remy obliged him by letting go long enough to let the jacket fall to the floor. When Spencer's hands went straight to the hem of Remy’s shirt, the Cajun chuckled. “ _Oui_ , I t’ink y’ might be.” He joked in response to Spencer's question. However, he reached down and took hold of his shirt, pulling it up and over his head before letting it drop down right beside his jacket.

Spencer made a soft sound of pleasure. He could look at Remy all day. The man had to work out; he _had_ to. There was no way he kept in that good of shape just running a bar. Spencer reached out, tracing a hand over Remy’s stomach, running his finger along the muscles there. He heard Remy suck in a breath. Just when Remy started to reach for him, Spencer let his hand drop down and he hooked his fingers in the front of his partner’s jeans. Taking a step backwards in the general direction of the bed, he tugged Remy with him. There was humor and lust both in Remy’s eyes now. “Just what’re you doing, _mon chéri_?”

“I’m making it up to you. Remember?”

It pleased him to see Remy’s eyes flash with heat. Spencer kept going back until he found the bed. Then, still trying to hold on to that boldness, using the lust he could read off of Remy to help bolster his courage, he gave the man a crooked smile. “Why don’t you lie down and let me make it up to you properly? Though, I’d recommend removing your shoes, first. I doubt you want those on your bedding.”

The two removed their shoes at the same time, setting them off to the side. Then Remy climbed right into the center of his bed and lay down on his back, folding his hands behind his head. There was a cocky sort of grin on his face that was absolutely sexy. Spencer couldn’t believe that the vision stretched out there in front of him was there for him. He felt nervous for just a moment, not quite sure if he was going to be able to do what he wanted to do. What if the past couple times they’d been together had been a fluke? What if he did something wrong? What if he wasn’t good enough? But his eyes met Remy’s and the man seemed to understand those nerves. His smile never wavered and his voice was husky as he spoke in a low voice. “I’m all y’rs, Spencer. Do with me what y’ will.”

There was a subtle dare there that Spencer couldn’t help but respond to. He found the courage to climb onto the bed as well. He didn’t stop until he was stretched out right beside him, propped up on one arm so he could look down at his face. Spencer smiled down at him and bent for a kiss. He left his reservations and insecurities behind and just let himself feel. Tonight, he was going to indulge himself a little.

When he broke the kiss, Remy was breathing just a little heavier. Tipping his head, Spencer slid his lips to Remy’s jawline, nibbling along the skin there. “I just want you to lie there and enjoy, Remy. Just lay back and let me make you feel good. Can you do that for me?”

“ _Merde_.” The word shuddered out as Remy tipped his chin up, giving Spencer access to his neck. Spencer happily took the invitation. He nipped and kissed his way across the wide expanse of skin, loving the reaction he was getting. He catalogued every sound that Remy made in response to each action. When he bit that spot between neck and shoulder, Remy gave a hoarse little cry, his hips jerking up in response. Smirking, Spencer did it again, sucking on the skin until a little bruise formed, loving the way that Remy writhed. Tonight, he blessed his eidetic memory. It allowed him to draw on any bit of information he’d ever come across concerning human anatomy. He was going to put that knowledge to good use tonight to make this man fly.

One hand braced on the bed while the other started tracing over Remy’s skin with a feather light touch, counting along his ribs, smoothing over his tight stomach, teasing at the tiny bit of hair that led to the waistband of his jeans. He explored every inch of exposed skin. Tonight, he was going to map out all of that golden skin and commit every inch of it to memory. While his hand moved, Spencer kissed over Remy’s chest, moving until he could reach one of his nipples. He bit the hard nub, making Remy cry out, before sucking it in and soothing it with his tongue. A hand threaded lightly in his hair and Spencer let it stay there, not minding its presence.

Spencer switched sides, going to Remy’s other nipple and giving it the same treatment while he curled his hand over his side and lightly scratched at the skin there, enjoying how the Cajun was writhing once more. The fact that Remy was just lying there, letting him do what he wanted, it was staggering. No one had ever let Spencer explore like this. And the responses he was getting! He knew how to read body language enough to tell when someone was faking. He had experience in reading that. None of this was fake. He was really causing this kind of reaction! Emboldened, he trailed kisses downward until he reached the man’s belly button, flicking his tongue over the sensitive area. Remy moaned and his hips moved, trying to get more sensation. Spencer moved his hands to grip Remy’s hips and keep him still. He looked up, his eyes finding Remy’s face, and Spencer found himself moaning softly against his skin. God, the man looked gorgeous!

Remy’s one hand was still in Spencer's hair while the other one was gripping the pillow beside his head. From this angle, Spencer could see the flush in his cheeks and the way his eyes were heavy lidded, staring down at him. Their eyes locked while Spencer moved further down, unhooking his lover’s jeans. Curling his fingers, Spencer caught the waistband of his jeans and underwear, slowly starting to slide them down. He had to break eye contact with Remy as more skin was revealed. A soft hum of satisfaction came to him when he got them low enough to reveal Remy’s erection, letting it jut out proudly right in front of him. Lost in the moment, Spencer didn’t bother pulling Remy’s clothes completely off before leaning in. He looked back up at Remy once more at the same time that his tongue came out, tracing the vein on the underside of the man’s cock. Remy sobbed out a breath, his legs moving now to try and help Spencer get him out of his clothes. Spencer chuckled and pulled back just enough to finally yank Remy’s jeans completely off and toss them to the side. He put his hands at Remy’s knees, sliding them up over his thighs, thrilled at the little tremors that were there and at the way that Remy let his legs fall open wantonly, absolutely unashamed of himself.

“You are utterly beautiful.” Spencer dipped his head to kiss one thigh and then the other. “Gorgeous.”

“Spencer…. _s’il tu plait, s’il tu plait._ ”

He kissed up, his breath teasing over his skin, tongue flicking out to taste and tease. “Please what, baby?” He teased him. He nipped at the inside of Remy’s thigh, making him jump and gasp.

Remy’s words were a breathless plea above him. “ _Merde_ , anything.”

“I don’t know.” Amused, he nuzzled at the base of Remy’s cock, rising up to suck off the drop of precum that had built there, chuckling once more when Remy’s hips jerked hard at that. “I kind of like you like this. So flushed and pretty. You’re so very responsive, did you know? A person could get addicted to those sounds you make.” To prove his point, he gave in to what they both wanted and took the head into his mouth, moaning a little at the flavor of the man and at how hot it was to hear the keening sound that Remy made. He didn’t bother holding down Remy’s hips for this. When the man thrust up, Spencer let him, pushing down at the same time so that he took him in as deep as he could go. Remy thankfully wasn’t too thick, but he was long and it took Spencer a second to adjust to the length of him. He slid his mouth back up, adding just a scrape of teeth.

When Spencer took Remy in deep, his nose nestling in the thatch of curls, Remy half moaned, half keened, and both his hands were suddenly in Spencer's hair. Having already put the man on edge, Spencer knew it probably wouldn’t take much to finish him off. Not that this was the end of Spencer's plans. Oh, no. He’d barely made it halfway down Remy’s body and this was only the front side. He wanted to explore all of it. But first…Spencer threw himself into his task, putting all his knowledge and skill to use until Remy’s hips were bucking and the room was filled with moans and pleas in Cajun that Spencer barely even understood. He felt the hands in his hair try to tug him away and he chuckled, the vibrations from his throat making Remy moan loudly. The man couldn’t hold out much longer. Spencer felt it coming and he deep-throated him one last time while rolling his sack in his hand and scraping his thumbnail over his perineum. The combination of sensations set Remy off. The cry he gave echoed off the walls as his hips jerked spasmodically. Spencer locked on and rode his orgasm out, swallowing down the bitter liquid as it hit the back of his throat.

He didn’t move his mouth until he felt Remy start to soften. With a last trace of his tongue, he let Remy slip from his mouth. The hands in his hair had limply dropped away to rest by Remy’s sides. For a second, Spencer sat back, admiring the picture his lover made. Remy’s eyes were closed and his chest was still heaving as he panted, obviously trying to catch his breath. Little bite marks showed from collarbone down to hip; just a few here and there. Pleased, Spencer shifted, dropping his head back down. He took advantage of Remy’s relaxed state to shift his legs a little. Then he bent once more to his task, starting at the inside of Remy’s left thigh and working his way down.

He heard the surprised sound Remy made, followed by a hoarse “Spencer?” that turned to a soft sort of moan when Spencer nipped down his calf. Amused, the young genius switched to the other leg, starting at the ankle and working up. “I’m not done with you yet, LeBeau.” He murmured against his skin. The words that came past Remy’s lips were in Cajun but Spencer had a feeling they were curses.

When he finished that leg, he got Remy to roll over. And then he went back to indulging himself. Remy’s skin called to him and he touched and tasted it all, working his way up his body, finding all the little spots that made Remy gasp, or moan, or that would make his muscles jump. He catalogued all those sights and sounds, every scar he came across, every little bit of him. The way he gasped when Spencer licked at the back of his knee, or how he shuddered when Spencer traced his tongue over the base of his spine and up a few inches. When Spencer came to the scars on Remy’s back, he felt him tense at first as if afraid of what Spencer would do. Spencer understood insecurity. To reassure, he tasted them all, showing Remy with his actions that he found him beautiful, scars and all.

By the time he reached the back of his neck, Remy was quivering from head to toe, a light sheen of sweat on his skin. He was moaning once more and babbling in that sexy mix of English and Cajun. Suddenly one of Remy’s hands shot out to the side and he was stretching, reaching for the nightstand. Spencer moved over, reaching for him. In the drawer there he found what he’d expected; lube and condoms. What he hadn’t expected was the way Remy drew his knees up under him, lifting his ass up in the air like an offering while he breathlessly begged “ _S’il tu plait, s’il tu plait._ Spencer…”

Remy wanted him to _top_? Holy shit. Spencer had almost always been on the receiving end in relationships. The people he had been with hadn’t wanted to be topped. The only time he’d really been able to had been with the two women he’d been with in his life. Otherwise, he’d only topped _one time_ with a man. None had ever wanted him to. Yet here was this beautiful, sweaty, moaning, needy man, just _begging_ to be taken. A shiver ran down Spencer's body and he realized that he wanted this, desperately. With slightly shaking hands he divested himself of his clothes. He hadn’t even stripped yet. When he was as naked as Remy was, he moved back toward him, kneeling behind him.

That damp skin was too much to resist. Spencer ran his hand down Remy’s thigh and leaned in to flick his tongue over his hip before biting lightly there, having already discovered how much Remy liked that. It earned him another deep, throaty moan. While he did that, Spencer opened the lube with his free hand and put some on his fingers. He bit at the older man’s hip again, seeking to distract him when he started to slide that first finger in.

 _Oh, sweet heavens_. Spencer's stomach clenched and his cock throbbed when he felt Remy’s tight heat clench around him. It took almost all of his control to carefully prepare him. One finger to two and the sounds Remy was making were sending Spencer's need higher. He curled his fingers, seeking out that one place, and…Remy’s hands gripped the sheets by his head and he sobbed. Yes, he’d found it. He stroked it again, making Remy’s whole body jump. Now, from two to three, and he could hear the hiss of pain but he quickly stroked that spot again, and oh it was almost too much for the both of them.

Finally Spencer couldn’t take it anymore. He slid his fingers out and hurried to open a condom and prepare himself. Teasing Remy had been teasing him as well and he was aching now. Aching and needy. Spencer got onto his knees, positioning himself behind him, taking his cock and lining it up. He stroked one hand over Remy’s trembling back, soothing them both a little when he started that first _push_.

It was heaven and hell. Remy was tighter than anything that Spencer had ever felt! He ached to thrust, to bury himself to the hilt. But he kept his pace slow, listening carefully to the sounds Remy made. He may not have topped but once with a man, but he knew what it was to be the bottom and he knew what felt good and didn’t. So he took it carefully, inch by inch, until sweet God he was finally in, buried deep in him and that velvet heat was clenching around him so that Spencer had to grit his teeth. Remy’s hands were twisted in the sheets. He was panting, hot and open mouthed, these needy little whimpers slipping out every now and again. After Spencer felt him start to relax, he put his hands on his hips, bracing him. Then he started to move.

He had wanted to take his time with this as well. To savor the sensation. Neither of their bodies wanted to take this slowly, though. They were too far gone in their need to be sweet about this. Remy’s knees slipped a little further apart and Spencer reached down, wrapping an arm around his chest to pull him up while bending down to meet him, bracing with one hand on the bed and burying his face against Remy’s shoulder. He thrust in and the new angle had Remy crying out and throwing his head back, telling Spencer he’d found just the right spot. Trembling, panting, he tightened his hold on his lover and thrust harder, faster, hitting that same spot over and over until once more the room was full of moans. Spencer felt his own skin start to get slick with sweat. The room felt so hot! Like the fires in them were heating the room around them. “Oh, God, Remy.”

“Spen- _cer_!” Remy was shuddering in his hold and Spencer knew he was so close. He could feel it. He slipped his hand down, wrapping it around Remy’s erection, fisting it only a few times before he felt Remy’s whole body tense. His cry this time was low and hoarse, a strangled sound, and he emptied over Spencer's fist.

The clench of those muscles made things impossibly tighter. Spencer groaned and pressed his forehead against Remy’s shoulder, his hair sticking to his sweat soaked face. The clench of Remy’s orgasm gripped him and dragged him over the edge as well with a guttural cry.

The two collapsed down onto the bed. Spencer barely had enough energy to carefully separate them and pull the condom off and tie it off. Luckily there was a small wastebasket beside the bed that he dropped it down into. Then he let himself flop down onto his stomach and just lay there, sweaty and panting. It took a good five minutes before either one of them could breathe normally again. When Spencer opened his eyes once more, he found Remy’s face right there in front of his. Heavy-lidded eyes were locked on him. Mustering up a smile, Spencer murmured “I hope I made it up to you.”

Remy let out a weak chuckle. “I t’ink I owe you now, _mon chéri_. Soon as I can feel m’ body again, we’ll see about dat.”

“Mm.” Pleased, Spencer let his eyes slip shut again.


	6. Chapter 6

*I know in the episode, Emily and Spencer play cards and Spencer loses, but I’m taking artistic license on that scene and redoing it the way I want. Sorry, folks. Hope that doesn’t bother you. If you want, imagine this scene happens AFTER that closing clip on CM :)*

The cup of tea that Spencer cradled in his hands shook ever so slightly, threatening to slosh the hot liquid out and onto his skin. He fought hard not to grimace and quickly settled the mug onto the table in front of him. He kept his fingers curled around it and wished there was something just a little bit stronger than tea in there. Something that could numb his mind just the slightest bit right now. That thought inevitably led to another and Spencer closed his eyes and fought back the wave of longing that crested over him. He ignored the little voice that lived inside of his mind, telling him that there was one thing that would make him numb. One thing that would make it all go away for a while. _I don’t need it. I don’t need it. I’ll be just fine._ The reminder fell just a little flat this night.

It shouldn’t have been so hard for him. Opening his eyes once more, he turned his head and looked out at the darkness outside the jet window. _This shouldn’t be so difficult for me. We solved the case. We saved the girl! That should be what I’m focused on!_ But that wasn’t what was haunting him. That wasn’t what had him sitting on the far end of the jet, as far away from the rest of the team as he could possibly get. And that wasn’t what had his hands trembling so much that it shook the cup he held. No, what stuck in his mind, what he couldn’t seem to make go away, were the _words_. Every single word in every single journal that he had sat right there on that little milk crate and read, sifting through them to try and find some piece of information that might be able to help them, all the while his eidetic memory taking those words and filing them away in that special place inside his mind that never, ever let him forget.

He tried to focus on the heat of the cup or the scent of the peppermint tea to distract himself from the thoughts inside his head. Anything to engage his senses and pull him from inside his head and to reality. Anything to keep him from thinking of the horrific details the Unsub had clearly written out in his journals. Anything to keep him from thinking, wanting, craving, _needing_ , the release he knew he could find in just one single needle…

Despite the tremble in his hands, he somehow managed to take a drink of the tea without spilling it everywhere. Then he was setting the cup back down and adjusting in his seat. _Think of something else. Anything else_. He needed some kind of a distraction.

A distraction came in the form of one Derek Morgan. His best friend suddenly appeared beside the table and then slipped down into the seat across from him. In his hands, Spencer saw a deck of cards. Derek said nothing at first, simply got comfortable and then started to shuffle. When he was done, he dealt out two hands before picking up his own cards, just as casual as could be. He didn’t say anything about the obvious tremble to Spencer's hands when the young genius reached down and picked up his cards. Nor did he mention anything about the lack of conversation from a usually verbose friend. Instead, he simply played out the first hand, losing miserably, after which he dealt out yet another hand.

They were on their third game before Derek finally spoke. When he did, it had nothing whatsoever to do with the case. “Got any big plans when we get home, kid?”

“No.” The word was just a little softer than normal, but it sounded more normal than it would have twenty minutes ago. Clearing his throat, Spencer tried again, making himself focus only on the cards and conversation. “No, not really.”

Derek darted his gaze up toward the rest of the jet, looking toward where their friends sat, before looking back at his cards and lowering his voice just the slightest bit. “No plans with Remy?”

Spencer shook his head. “None.” He tried not to go to Remy when a case was still bugging him this strongly. It had been three months since he’d first met the Cajun in his bar and they’d gotten together quite a few times since then. They’d actually gone out a few times, off to a meal or to the movies. Sometimes they bypassed going anywhere and simply went to Spencer's apartment, or over to Remy’s cozy little house. On nights that he’d had Andrei and hadn’t been able to come out and see Spencer, the two had often talked on the phone once the little boy was in bed. Between Andrei, Lagniappe, and Spencer's work, it was proving just a little difficult to see one another as consistently as they wanted, though almost all their free time was spent together. However, it was also proving very worth it. Never before had Spencer ever felt like he _clicked_ with someone. He’d always thought that saying made no sense until he felt it when he was around Remy. There was no tension there between them, no awkwardness or nerves that usually assailed Spencer when he was with people. It was just easy and comfortable and so very, very…wonderful. But he tried very hard to keep his work life away from his personal if at all possible. He didn’t want things like this to taint the time he had with the man.

“Maybe you should give him a call, even just to chat. I’m sure he’d love to hear from you.” The words were casual; the message behind them wasn’t. Derek was discreetly letting Spencer know that he knew he was having problems, just as he knew that talking to someone could help. And talking to Remy always put him in a good mood.

No one else but Derek and Penelope knew about Spencer and Remy. Despite how well Penelope had taken it, he still hadn’t been able to bring himself to tell the others. There was speculation, Spencer knew, that he had someone new in his life. However, none of them had any idea whatsoever that the ‘someone new’ was a man. Why he hadn’t told them, he couldn’t quite fully explain to even himself. Remy said that he understood and that he was fine with it. How he understood when even Spencer didn’t understand, well, that was a mystery. But when he’d pointed that out, Remy had simply patted his cheek and smiled and once again said it was fine. Two of Spencer's friends knew about him and for now, that was enough for him.

Spencer laid his cards on the table, barely taking any notice of his winning hand. He chewed on his bottom lip and stared down at the cards as Derek shuffled them. A quick glance showed that the others were still far enough away and busy enough with talking that they shouldn’t be able to hear this conversation. Only then did he feel safe enough to say “I don’t…I don’t want to bring work home with me. It’s not fair to put that on him.”

“Then you might as well break it off now.”

Those blunt words had Spencer's eyes snapping up to Derek’s face. _What_? “Excuse me?”

Without breaking stride in his shuffling, Derek flashed a look up at him. “You heard me, Reid. If you can’t even talk to him to help you feel better after a case has you feeling rough, if you feel like you can’t have him help you shoulder the way work makes us feel sometimes, then it’s better to break it off now.” Calmly, Derek set the now shuffled cards down in a neat pile in the middle of the table. Then he sat back and looked right at Spencer's face. “Maybe the average person can keep their work and home life completely separate. Good for them. But we’re not average people. _You_ are not the average person. You more than any of us are stuck taking our work home with you, whether you like it or not. That big brain of yours makes sure of that. If you can’t bring that around the person you’re dating, if you feel that they can’t handle it or if you’re always trying to keep it away from them, you’re doing yourself and the other person an injustice. You need to be with someone you not only care about, but trust, and who trusts and cares about you. Either he can handle it or he can’t, kid. But you can’t shelter him from it.”

“Can’t I? There’s no reason he has to know the things we see, Morgan.”

“And what’re you gonna do when you wake up in the middle of the night with a nightmare?” Derek countered. “Or what about if you get hurt on a case again? You just gonna brush it off and tell him nothing and expect him to be okay with that? You just gonna roll over at night and deal with it on your own and shut him out? That’s not fair to either one of you and you know it. He’s not Paul, man. He’s not gonna brush you off.” That last statement was like a blow, setting Spencer back in his seat. Derek tempered it with a gentle look. “And if it counts for anything, I don’t think it’ll make him run. From what I’ve got to know about him, I think he’ll surprise you. But you gotta give him the chance, Reid.”

There was nothing Spencer could think of to say in response to that. He couldn’t deny the truth behind his friend’s words. If a nightmare struck or if he was injured—something that happened far too frequently—would Remy really just let him brush it off without explanation? _No. And he shouldn’t have to. I wouldn’t want that if the roles were reversed._ But could he really bring this part of his life home? They’d only been seeing one another for a few months now. Well, three months and two days, but he doubted anyone else would count it out quite like him. He could add the hours and minutes in there too if needed. Still, Remy knew his line of work. That hadn’t been kept secret. He knew the type of people they hunted. Wouldn’t he sort of expect Spencer to occasionally bring part of that home with him?

If he was honest, Derek had neatly summed it up right at the end there. No matter how much he told himself that he was doing this to protect Remy, that he was trying to keep work away from a person he was growing to care about more and more, the honest truth was that he was terrified Remy was going to react badly or, or react like Paul. Paul hadn’t reacted badly—he just hadn’t wanted to hear it. He hadn’t been cruel or anything of the like. He’d simply said he didn’t feel comfortable hearing those kinds of terrors and if Spencer brought it up, he would either leave the room or ignore him. Spencer didn’t know if he could bear Remy doing that. _I’ll never know if I don’t give him the chance, just like Morgan said._

When Spencer looked at his best friend once more, he gave him a small hint of a smile. “Thank you.” That was all he said. It was all he needed to say. Derek nodded back. “You’re welcome.” Then he picked up the cards once more, dealing out a new hand.

Forty minutes later, Spencer was making his way out of the BAU, heading over towards his car. As he did, he pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. Only when he was sitting in the driver’s seat with the door closed did he actually look down at the phone and make himself dial a number he had memorized. _You can do this. You can do this. It’s not difficult. You can do this!_

Two rings and then a warm voice flowed over the line. _“Spencer! Y’ got great timing. I just finished m’ shift at de bar. How’s de case coming along?”_

Just hearing his voice was enough to have some of Spencer's tension start to drain away. “Hey, Remy. We just got back home.”

_“Are y’ doing okay? Y’ sound…not too happy.”_

“Actually…” _Moment of truth here, Spencer. You can do this!_ “Are you, um, are you busy?”

Remy’s reply came almost instantly. His voice was much more alert and there was a note of concern there now. _“Non. What’s wrong?”_

“I just, well, this case was, um, it was a little rough. I…I don’t really want to be alone tonight.” _There, you said it. Oh please, please, don’t let him laugh at me. Don’t let him brush me off. Please!_

All his worries vanished with the quickness of Remy’s response. _“I’m leaving Lagniappe right now, mon chéri. I can meet y’ at y’r place or I can swing by and pick y’ up from work if y’ need me to.”_

Warmth filled Spencer's stomach, chasing back some of that nauseous feeling that had been sitting there for most of the case. He closed his eyes and rested his head back against the headrest on a soft sigh of relief. “I can drive home. You’ll actually beat me there by seven and a half minutes if you’re leaving right now.”

_“I’ll be waiting fo’ y’. Drive safe, Spencer.”_

“You too.” Closing his phone, Spencer looked down at it. His stomach had settled just slightly and his hands felt a little steadier. His head had cleared a bit as well. _All of that just because you talked with him. And he didn’t turn you away, either! He didn’t make fun of you or brush you off or anything. In fact, he’s hurrying to your place to be with you._ Spencer carried the warm feeling of that with him the whole way home.

CXCX

As promised, Remy was waiting for him when he arrived at his apartment. The now familiar bike was parked right alongside where Spencer usually parked and there was a lone figure sitting on it, wrapped in that trench coat he always wore. The warm feeling that was inside of him grew even more when he parked the car and stepped out and Remy instantly moved forward to embrace him. Remy’s arms were tight around him and Spencer’s face was buried against the man’s neck, inhaling the vanilla and cinnamon scent of Remy’s body wash. It was a homemade blend his Tante sent him and Spencer loved how it smelled on his skin. For just a moment he stood there and reveled in the strength being offered. Eventually the two pulled back, though not far. Remy’s hand came up to cup his cheek, holding him in place so he could dip down and steal a kiss while his thumb stroked over Spencer's cheekbone. “Hey.” Remy said softly.

“Hey.”

The two shared a smile and another soft kiss before they moved apart. Spencer grabbed his go-bag from the backseat and then Remy was taking his hand as they made their way inside. They didn’t say anything else until they were inside and the door was both shut and locked. Remy waited until Spencer had locked the door before once more taking him and pulling him in close. Spencer let his go-bag drop to the ground and he slipped his hands inside of Remy’s leather trench coat, burrowing in against him. Suddenly it was just a little bit easier to breathe. The weight that was on his heart, on his shoulders, didn’t feel quite so heavy anymore. Somehow, in this man’s arms, everything just became easier.

Never before could Spencer ever remember someone holding him so close, so carefully, and yet so strong all at the same time. He couldn’t remember anyone but his mother who had ever hugged him simply because they thought he needed it. He’d said nothing, done nothing, yet Remy had just seemed to know that he needed this embrace right now. Most people assumed that Spencer didn’t want something like this. They saw the way he’d flinch at a surprise touch or how he often waved instead of shaking hands and they took it to mean he suffered from mysophobia—a pathological fear of contamination and germs— or that he didn’t want to be touched, ever. Few people realized that it was an old fear that he could never get to quite go away that any touch was going to be a bad one. But here Remy was, holding him like he was something precious, something special, and the world was just a little bit steadier than it had been before.

A hand stroked over Spencer's hair, a soothing sort of gesture, followed by the low murmur of Remy’s voice. “C’mon, let’s get y’ sitting down and get y’r extras off, _oui_?”

Spencer reluctantly detached himself from Remy, only enough to allow the man to lead him over to the couch. They stopped at the edge of it and Remy reached for the buttons on his cardigan, starting to unhook them so that he could get Spencer's ‘extras’ off. While he unbuttoned that, Spencer reached up and loosened his tie before pulling it over his head. Remy took that from him and then took the sweater when Spencer shrugged it off. Spencer sat himself down on the couch to remove his shoes while he watched Remy disappear down the hall, most likely to put those items in the laundry basket. When he came back out, he was pulling his backpack off and setting it on a chair and then taking his coat over to hang up on the tree rack by the door. Spencer realized that Remy had been here often enough that they were both comfortable and at ease with his presence here. He moved easily through the apartment.

By the time Spencer had his shoes off and tucked underneath the coffee table, Remy was back over and his own shoes were off, set by the tree by the door. The older man didn’t hesitate to settle onto the couch but then he surprised Spencer slightly. He patted a hand on his lap and smiled at him. “Put y’r head down here, cher. Stretch y’rself out.” He said. The almost instant blush that hit Spencer's cheeks had Remy letting out a husky chuckle. He rolled his eyes and his smile grew just slightly. “Get y’r mind outta de gutter, at least fo’ now. Just lay down, would y’?”

Still a little pink-cheeked, Spencer nonetheless turned his body, lying down on the couch with his head pillowed in Remy’s lap. His cheek was against the man’s thighs, eyes facing outwards like he was going to watch TV. As soon as he settled in, a hand started to stroke through his hair. Spencer found himself sighing slightly, relaxing down into the touch. Almost against his will his eyes drifted shut. This was far more soothing than he’d thought it would be. He brought one hand up, letting his fingers curl over Remy’s thigh right in front of his face, adding another touch to their connection. For a while they just stayed there in the quiet and there was no awkwardness in it. No pressure to fill that silence. Maybe that was why he suddenly found it so easy to speak; no one was pressuring him to do it. “I should be celebrating. We managed to get a girl home today. She’s back with her family now. Everyone else is celebrating that. I should be too.”

He paused, but Remy said nothing, only continued to stroke his hair. After a second more of silence, Spencer kept going. “The Unsub staged himself for us. He rented space and set up a wall of all his kills that was in chronological order. He called 911 to report a body and then proceeded to shoot himself. The authorities had scheduled an interview with him and instead of risking it, he chose to give himself up this way, committing suicide. Later, we discovered he’d done it to protect his wife and unborn child.” Images and words swam in Spencer's mind and he clenched his eyes shut just a little bit tighter, turning his face in toward Remy’s legs a little more. “He left stacks and stacks of journals there. They were our only real lead to find the last girl up on his wall of victims. Incredibly detailed journals. And I, I know they needed me to read them. I mean, I read the fastest and retain the most information when I read. I retain it all. But therein lies the problem. For them, the case is over and it had a happy ending. But I can’t, I mean…I keep thinking about the, the journals and all the things he put in there and I just, _God_ , the amount of depravity a human is capable of is just…” Unable to continue, his voice trailed off. Choked off, more like. Emotion clogged his throat.

Remy made a soft, distressed sound, the first noise he’d made since he’d settled Spencer's head in his lap. The hand in his hair froze before cupping his head. “Oh, _pauvre bête_.” Remy smoothed back his hair and bent down, pressing a kiss against the side of Spencer's head. “ _Je suis désolé_ dat y’ have to live with dat in y’r head.”

He didn’t remind Spencer of all the good he did with his memory or remind him why he did what he did. Remy didn’t tell him that he’d saved someone’s life or point out how many times his skills had done just that. Instead, he was curled almost protectively around him as if he could shelter Spencer right there in his lap.

Spencer kept his eyes closed, but he relished in the warmth that was cocooning him. “I’ll get it all locked away eventually.” He said softly. “I always do. I should be celebrating like everyone else. I shouldn’t be like, like _this._ ”

“ _Non,_ Spencer.” Remy cut him off. He put a hand on Spencer's shoulder, pulling until the young genius was lying on his back. When Spencer blinked his eyes open, he was staring straight up into Remy’s face, those beautiful green eyes locked on him with a serious, earnest expression. One of Remy’s hands came up to stroke over Spencer's cheek. “Maybe at work y’ gotta push dis back and be de tough guy. _Mais_ y’r not at work here, cher. Dis is y’r home and y’r entitled to feel any way y’ want. Y’ve got every right to feel dis way! Not everyone could live with de t’ings in deir head dat y’ do. I see such strength when I look at y’.”

“I’m not strong.” The denial was almost instantaneous. Spencer hated when people told him he was strong. He wasn’t. He knew he wasn’t. Shame coiled tight in Spencer's gut and had him closing his eyes once more. Right here and now, he knew what he had to say. Knew what he had to explain to Remy before this night went any further. Bile threatened in the back of his throat only to be shoved down. _You’ve known this was coming. Better now than never, right?_ “Do you know why I cannot be alone tonight, Remy?” Before Remy could answer, Spencer jerked up out of his lap, unable to just lie there for this. He pulled himself over to the other end of the couch, bringing his feet up so that his knees were against his chest. Then he made himself admit one of the hardest things for him. “I’m a recovering addict, Rem. I couldn’t handle the idea of being alone tonight because I’m afraid I’ll go out and score so I don’t have to think. If you hadn’t been able to be here, I’d be on Morgan’s couch right now.”

Fear and heartache had Spencer saying things he might never have otherwise dared. But this had come out and now the rest of it was pouring from him and there was no way to stop it. His secrets were coming out and if Remy ran, then so be it. Too agitated to sit, his usual shields cracking, Spencer shot to his feet to pace the floor of his living room, words starting to tumble from him with no real semblance of order to them. No real, obvious connection. His secrets were coming out in one big speech, whether he was ready for them or not. “Do you realize what you’ve gotten yourself into with me? I’m a wreck, Remy. I’m not a healthy person. I’m an addict who suffers from PTSD. I’ve been clean for two years, one week, and two days, but I’m always going to be an addict. Then, _then_ , there’s the chance that one day I could end up like my mom. She’s a paranoid schizophrenic that I had to commit to an institution when I was eighteen. When I was ten, my Dad bailed on us and left me to care for her, despite the fact that she could barely remember to care for herself.” Aching, Spencer paced away, one hand coming up to run through his hair while his other arm wrapped around his waist. “I’m not a healthy person and I never, ever should’ve let things get this far between us. Not with all of this. I have no right to be around someone else like this…”

“Now wait a second.” For the first time since the ramble started, Remy spoke up. He rose from the couch, eyes locked on Spencer's face. “Just wait a second, cher. Let’s sit and talk about dis…”

Spencer shook his head. “No. Remy, I’m not the right person for you. Look at me!” He held a hand out, showing how badly it shook. “I’m a mess. It’s not right and it’s not fair to expect you to take on so much with me.”

“I’m not gonna run cause y’r an ex-addict and I’m not gonna run cause y’r Mama’s sick, Spencer.” Remy said slowly. “I don’t even know m’ real parents. Fo’ all I know, I’ve got some things in m’ medical history with dem dat could be just as bad or worse. Is that gonna make y’ wanna walk away from me?”

“Of course not!”

“Then what makes y’ t’ink I’m shallow enough to walk away from y’?”

Aching, Spencer licked his dry lips, fighting back the sick feeling in his stomach. “Because you don’t know. You don’t know what I did. You don’t know about Tobias.”

A gentle hand rested on his shoulder and Spencer's eyes snapped up to find Remy right there in front of him. “Then tell me.” Remy said simply. And looking at him, Spencer couldn’t do anything else. He nodded before letting Remy lead him back to the couch. When they were settled once more, facing one another, Remy took Spencer's hands in his and Spencer used those hands as an anchor. He looked down at their interlaced fingers as he started a story he hated. “The team and I were on a case in Georgia…”

It took a half an hour for Spencer to fully tell the story of Tobias Hankel. He left nothing out, telling Remy of the case building up to it, the murders, the trip with JJ to the house to interview Tobias. Then he told him about his days in the shack. His voice was hoarse and his eyes watered, but he told it all. It was when he spoke of shooting Tobias at the end that a few tears escaped; the only tears he let free. He didn’t stop his story there, though. He continued on, speaking candidly with someone for the first time about the days that followed. About how he let himself fall into the Dilaudid that Tobias had hooked him on, how it numbed his brain so he didn’t have to remember. And how he’d finally managed to get himself clean, to start going to meetings, and get his life back. Head bowed, he laid it all out, exposing himself in a way he hadn’t ever before. When he was done, he felt slightly hollow inside.

Remy’s hands were gripping his tightly. “Spencer.” His name was just a soft whisper, tight with emotion.

Still looking down, Spencer shivered slightly. “I can handle the scent of fish now, unless it’s gone bad or it’s burned. But the smell of regular fish doesn’t bother me. But I can’t handle the feel of metal on my wrists. And sometimes I have a hard time hearing anything from Revelations. Sometimes I, I still have nightmares. But I’ve kept clean. I won’t let myself go down that path anymore. That’s why I don’t even take narcotic pain medication. It’s in my medical charts that I require non-narcotic pain meds.”

What happened next wasn’t at all what Spencer had expected. Remy let go of his hands and Spencer prepared for the man to get up and walk away; instead, Remy leaned forward and wrapped his arms around him. “Oh, _bébé_.” He whispered the words into Spencer's hair. “Oh. I wish I could go back to then and protect y’. I wish I could’ve been dere fo’ y’. Y’r de strongest person I know. I know y’ don’t t’ink y’ are, but dere aren’t many dat could’ve pulled outta dat. I’m not angry, I’m not hurt, and I’m not leaving. I’m so proud of y’.”

Wait a second! He was _what_? Spencer went slightly stiff in Remy’s arms. “You’re _what_?”

“I’m proud, Spencer.” Pulling back, Remy cupped his face, making sure that Spencer could see him. Honesty shone bright in his eyes. “I’m so proud that you were strong enough to beat something like that. Everyone makes mistakes, cher. It’s what y’ do after dat shows y’r character. Y’ came out de other side stronger and better fo’ it all and fo’ dat, I’m so proud of y’.” And Remy bent in, pressing a kiss against his lips.

This wasn’t what Spencer had expected. In all the times he’d imagined this conversation, this wasn’t how he had thought it would go. He had never pictured Remy being so understanding, so sweet. But here he was, holding him so gently, kissing him sweetly, and Spencer couldn’t stop the tears now. They slipped out in silent, shining rivers on his cheeks. Somehow he found that they were moving, Remy tucking himself into the corner and drawing Spencer with him, cradling him in his arms. Spencer lay against him, curled to his chest with Remy’s chin on his head, and there was something warm unfurling inside of him. _Is this love_? The thought floated across his mind. _Is this what love feels like? This warm sort of peace? The feeling of being complete inside of his arms?_ He didn’t know. But whatever it was, Spencer knew he never wanted to let it go.


	7. Chapter 7

When Spencer stumbled into the kitchen the next morning, there was already the scent of brewing coffee waiting for him. That wasn’t the only thing waiting for him. Remy was already in there, perched on the high stool Spencer kept at the counter’s edge. He looked good sitting there reading the paper in just a pair of plaid pajama pants. The Cajun looked up from the paper he was reading and smiled, tipping his head up for a kiss as Spencer went past. “Morning, _bébé_.”

Spencer gave him a quick kiss and then went to the coffee pot. “Morning, Rems.” In a routine they’d both become comfortable in, Spencer served his first cup and brought it over with him as he went and leaned against the counter by where Remy was sitting.

“No work today?” Remy asked. He folded the paper and set it down on the counter before turning his full attention to Spencer.

The first sip of coffee was absolute heaven. There was nothing better than that first drink of coffee in the mornings. Spencer closed his eyes on a sigh. He opened them again to find Remy smirking at him over his mug. Rolling his eyes, Spencer chose to ignore that. “No, no work. I checked my phone before I came out here and there was a message from JJ. Since we all turned in our paperwork last night, we get to start our weekend a day early. Hotch’s orders.”

“Well dat’s nice. Gives y’ a whole weekend to rest and recuperate from de case.”

And from other things, but Remy didn’t say that part. Still, Spencer knew the truth of it. Last night had been a bit of a long night for the two of them. After his explosion, which had him wanting to flush with embarrassment here in the light of day, they’d laid on the couch for a little while. Then Spencer had went and taken a shower while Remy made them up some quick dinner. They’d talked through dinner, the both of them opening up. Prompted by Remy’s questions, Spencer went more in depth about his mother, about when his father left and what it was like to deal with a mom who didn’t really know he was there half the time. In return, Remy gave some painful admissions of his own, talking about what life had been like for a young boy in group homes and foster homes that rarely cared who he was or where he was. He talked about times on the streets, telling stories that had Spencer's heart aching. He would always have the image now of a little boy with auburn hair and sad green eyes, forced to steal food just to be able to get something to eat that day.

Then the two had cleaned up dinner and went straight to bed. All Spencer had wanted was to be in the circle of Remy’s arms. Their lovemaking had been slow and gentle, a healing kind of touch, and when he lay there afterwards with Remy curled up against him, Spencer admitted to himself that he was falling in love with the man he was holding.

Blinking himself back to the present moment, Spencer found that Remy was watching from over his coffee cup. “What’s got dat smile on y’r face, cher?”

“Oh. Nothing.” Flustered, Spencer took another drink from his coffee. He couldn’t admit to Remy what he’d been thinking about. There was no way he could tell him that he was falling in love with him. They’d only been seeing one another for three months! Hell, he’d just come to this realization last night. How could he tell Remy when he hadn’t even settled it in his own head yet? He needed time to get used to the idea.

He was saved from any more of Remy’s questions by the sound of a cell phone going off. It took only a second for them to recognize it as Remy’s phone. He went over to pull his phone out of his coat and Spencer sighed with relief. He’d seen the questions on Remy’s face and he knew the man had been ready to press him on what had made him smile. This gave him a much needed reprieve. Hopefully, by the time Remy got back he wouldn’t remember.

He heard Remy answer the phone and then suddenly he was speaking in in rapid fire Cajun French, the words tumbling out happily. Though he was getting better at understanding some of it, Spencer still didn’t understand enough to keep up with conversation when Remy got to talking this fast. He did know, however, that Remy had to be talking to Belle or his Tante Mattie. Those were the only two that he spoke that fluently with. Whereas the language had once been prominent amongst Cajuns, Remy told him it had been almost completely lost. But Mattie had taught him, claiming that it was a part of his heritage he should know, and she had also taught him traditional French. Belle’s parrain—Godfather—had taught her for the same reasons. It really was nice to listen to it. Spencer enjoyed hearing it even if he couldn’t understand it. Remy told him that, at one point in time, his accent had been thicker and his speech patterns quite a bit different. College had changed some of that for him. So had Jean-Luc. The man had worked hard to improve Remy’s language, to remove the swearing he’d done almost constantly, and he’d made sure that Remy could speak properly, not wanting his son to be shunned in a world that tended to look at Cajuns as lazy and uneducated, a stereotype that wasn’t true at all.

Spencer looked down at his coffee cup, realizing that he’d finished it. He went ahead and made himself another and then turned to start to cruise the cupboards. Remy was still perched on a chair in the living room, chattering away, so Spencer decided to take advantage of the moment and see what he could get together for breakfast. It didn’t take much looking to figure out that he didn’t really have much of anything. Apparently a trip to the store was in order today.

Out in the living room things went quiet. Then Spencer heard soft footsteps padding in towards him. “Hey, Spencer?”

Well, something was off in Remy’s tone. Spencer straightened up from the cupboard he’d been searching and he shut the door with his knee while he turned to look toward Remy. The older man was leaning against the nearby counter, looking oh-so-casual. Or, at least, he was trying to. There were a few things that gave him away. Spencer leaned back against the counter opposite him. Amusement had his lips twitching in a smile he forced to stay in. “Yes, Remy?”

“Y’ and I, we’ve been seeing each other fo’ about, what, three months now?”

This wasn’t where he had thought this was going. A little more serious, Spencer nodded at him. “Three months and three days.”

That had Remy’s lips twitching. His expression smoothed back out once more, though. “ _Oui_. And though we’ve never said it, we’ve been exclusive, _non_? I mean, I know dere’s no one else I want to see but y’. So we could say dat, maybe, we’re officially dating. Boyfriends. _Oui_?”

A little thrill ran through Spencer. They never had said that yet that was what Spencer had secretly been hoping. He didn’t know the rules of dating well enough to know if that was just something that happened, or if it had to be declared, or what it was. But to hear Remy openly admit it made his heart sing. There was no way to keep the happiness out of his voice when he answered “Yes, I would think so.” Suddenly, something in Spencer's brain seemed to click. Remy’s body language, his phone call with either Belle or Mattie, this sudden talk about their relationship and how long they’d been together and making the statement of being official…Spencer's eyebrows furrowed down and he lowered his cup. “Wait a second.” He said slowly. The connections he made were leading him to one thing. Realization had his eyebrows winging upwards and his eyes going wide. Shock had him almost dropping his mug. “Oh, no. No, no, no. You want me to meet them. That’s what this is all about.”

Remy didn’t bother with any more pretenses. “Just Andrei. Belle’s got an interview in two hours, so she needs me to take Andrei. She’s been wanting to go back to work now dat Andrei’s gonna be starting Kindergarten dis year. She’s been private tutoring fo’ a while _mais_ she wants to get back into full time teaching. She’s a certified dance instructor.” He gave Spencer an earnest look, his hands gesturing a little more than normal because of nerves. “I’d really like fo’ de two of y’ to meet, Spencer. He’s de most important person in m’ world and I want him to meet de man in m’ life.”

This was a big step. A _huge_ step. Spencer knew that, by trying to get the two to meet, Remy was showing just how committed to this he was and just how important Spencer was to him. He wouldn’t bring just anyone to meet his son. Andrei was the most important person to him, just as he said. He wouldn’t risk bringing someone around him and letting Andrei get attached if he thought that the person wasn’t going to be around. This was a positive sign of commitment. And it was terrifying. Spencer licked his lips and just stared at him. He fought to try to figure out how to put this into words. “Remy, it’s not that I wouldn’t be, be honored. It’s just, I mean, well…kids don’t like me. The team calls it the ‘Reid effect’. It seems to work on children and animals. I scare them or I weird them out.”

“What about y’ and Henry?”

“That’s entirely different. Henry’s known me his entire life. I’m not strange to him. This is how I’ve always been so to him this is normal. I’m just Uncle Spencer. He doesn’t see me as a freak like other kids do.”

Remy pushed away from the counter and moved toward him. He stopped in front of Spencer and first took his coffee cup, setting it aside. Then he cupped Spencer's face in his hands. There was a gentle light in Remy’s eyes and a warmth that Spencer had grown to count on seeing there. It was a warmth that never failed to make his heart beat just a little faster. No one had ever looked at him quite that way before. “Spencer.” A gentle kiss was pressed against his lips. “Y’ are _not_ a freak, do y’ hear me? I don’t care what anyone’s told y’. Y’r a wonderful, amazing man. Y’r not a freak.” Those heartfelt words were coupled with another kiss. “And Andrei’s gonna love y’. Y’ got no reason to freak out, _bébé._ He’s just a five year old little boy.”

The kind words and soft kisses were melting Spencer. He rested his hands on Remy’s hips and, without realizing it, he nuzzled slightly at one of Remy’s hands. His voice was calmer and just a little steadier when he found it again. “He’s not just any five year old little boy, Rem. He’s your five year old little boy. That makes all the difference. He’s important to you. I can’t help being nervous about this.”

Though he didn’t understand the murmur of Cajun words, he did understand the emotion behind them. The tenderness and care. Then Remy kissed him again, longer this time, kindling a low heat in Spencer's whole body. He broke apart and stroked his thumbs over Spencer's cheekbones. “It’ll just be a simple visit, Spencer. We’ll take him to de zoo. It’s his favorite place. He’ll be happy and relaxed and it’ll be fine. Y’ll see.”

How could he say no? No matter how nervous he was, there was no way he could deny him. “On one condition.” He said. At Remy’s curious look, he explained “Shut me up if I start talking too much. JJ says places like that tend to put me in a sort of ‘Professor’ mode.”

Remy’s whole face lit with the brightness of his smile. “Y’ got a deal.”

As Remy pulled him in for a hug, Spencer mentally shook his head at himself and wondered what the hell he’d just gotten himself into.

CXCX

Forty minutes later, Remy stood on the front step of Belle’s house. Long habit had him simply opening the door and poking his head in first, calling out “Belle?” before drawing the rest of himself inside. He only got two steps in the front hall before there was the sound of running feet. An instant later, his son appeared around the corner, face and eyes bright. “Papa!” He shouted. Then he was racing forward and he leapt straight at him. Remy grinned and easily caught the little boy in his arms, lifting him up and pulling him into a hug. Small legs wrapped around his waist for balance. Andrei pulled back just enough to be able to look at Remy’s face. His blue eyes were sparkling and his curls were hanging down toward his face. He was in need of a trim again. “Papa, Papa, guess what?”

“What?”

“Jimmy and me founded a little baby kitten in his backyard and Jimmy’s Mama let him _keep it_! _I_ didn’t want a kitten. Can we get a dog, Papa? I want a dog. Not a big one. _Mais_ not a teeny one either. One dat’s dog sized, maybe. Can we, Papa? Can we?”

The words all came out in a rush, tripping over one another in his excitement to get them out. Remy could only smile at the whole speech. He never minded Andrei’s babbles. The kid could talk on and on when he really got going and Remy never had problems listening to him. _Maybe that’s why I don’t have problems listening to Spencer's rambles, either. I’ve had practice_ he thought jokingly. “A dog, hehn? Dat’s a big responsibility, Roo. “

“Andrei Foret LeBeau.” The use of the little boy’s full name caught both father and son’s attention. They turned together to look at the pretty blond woman that stood a few feet away, arms crossed over her chest and a stern look on her face. “I told y’ dat I don’t wanna here another word bout no _chien_ today. Been driving y’r Mama crazy with dat all morning long.”

Amused, Remy gave Andrei a squeeze and set him down on the ground. “Go grab y’r hat from y’r room, Roo.”

Once he was gone, the two adults came together to share a quick hug in greeting. “So, didn’t y’ get y’r _petit ami_ to join y’?” Belle asked when she stepped back. He could tell she was in the middle of getting herself ready. She was still in her comfortable house clothes, but she’d already French braided her blond hair out of the way and the way she held her hands told him she’d just painted her nails.

Remy flashed her a grin. It was easy to smile at Belle; they had become close friends ever since their divorce. As much as it seemed to surprise other people, neither one of them were shy about admitting that the divorce was the smartest thing they’d ever done and they’d happily gained a friend instead of a spouse. “ _Oui_ , I did.”

“ _Mais_ , where’s he at, den?”

“Y’ t’ink I was gonna force de _homme_ to meet y’ and Andrei both today? Y’r crazy, cher. I aint letting y’ near him yet. He’s nervous enough as it is.”

A pout built on Belle’s lips, though she knew it had no effect on him. “Why so mean, Remy? I aint gonna hurt him! I just wanna make sure he’s good enough fo’ m’ boys, _oui_?”

If anything, his grin grew wider. “Don’t _bouder_ at me, cher. I’ll let y’ meet Spencer when I’m good and ready and not a moment before, y’hear?” Still, Remy couldn’t resist leaning in and pulling her close so that he could press a kiss to her forehead. “Let’s see how things go today, _oui_? Den I’ll talk to Spencer and maybe see about a getting together fo’ dinner or something, de whole group of us. How’s dat sound?”

“Perfect.”

Any further conversation was forestalled when Andrei came back in with his Saints baseball cap in hand. Then their time was taken up by getting him in his little jean coat, putting his hat on the correct way, getting his shoes on and hugs and kisses with his Mama. Finally they were out the door. Hand in hand, the two walked down to the car at the curb. Remy opened the door and gestured for Andrei to get in. “Go on, den. Get on in.”

“I can buckle myself!” The boy pronounced happily.

Sure enough, by the time Remy slipped into the driver’s seat, Andrei had himself buckled in on his booster seat. No longer occupied, he’d finally noticed the person sitting nervously in the passenger’s seat. “ _Bonjour_!” Andrei’s voice as bright and cheerful. The boy liked people and he had no problems whatsoever talking to them. “Who are you? M’ names Andrei and I’m five. Are you m’ Papa’s friend?”

A chuckle slipped free from Remy. He twisted in his seat just enough to be able to look at both boys at once. Andrei, smiling and pink-cheeked, happy and ready to go. Spencer, chewing nervously on his lip yet still offering the little boy a smile. His heart swelled a little. Finally, he was introducing the two important men in his life. “Roo, dis is Spencer. Y’ remember me telling y’ about him?” Not even two weeks ago Remy had sat down with his son and they’d had a talk about Spencer. He hadn’t told Spencer that he’d done it or even that he had planned on doing it but it had felt necessary. He knew that things between him and Spencer were getting more and more serious and he’d wanted to prepare his son; give him time to get used to the idea before he met him.

Andrei lit up at the use of Spencer's name, totally missing the surprise that was on Spencer's face. All of a sudden the little boy was especially eager as he looked towards Spencer. “I remember! Papa says you’re his _boyfriend_. I’m Andrei but everyone calls me Roo. You can call me Roo if you want to. I’ve got a stuffed Roo in my room and he sleeps in my bed cause he’s my friend.”

Amusement was bright on Remy’s face. He turned back around and started the car up. When he caught sight of the lost look on Spencer's face, he couldn’t help but laugh. “Welcome to de world of Andrei, cher. Trust me, y’ll barely have to say a thing. He’ll do all de talking fo’ y’. He probably won’t stop till we get dere.”

“Must be a family trait.” Spencer murmured so low Remy almost didn’t hear him.

“Hey, now. Y’ aint got no room to talk.”

There was no denying that. Spencer only smiled at him and then turned his attention back to the conversation still coming from the backseat.

Just as Remy had predicted, Andrei talked the entire ride. They were regaled with stories of all the things that Andrei had done all week with Mama and Jimmy, the boy who lived next door, and plenty about the kitten that they’d found. He didn’t stop until he saw where they were going and he only stopped then to suck in a breath. Then a whole new barrage started. Remy rolled his eyes after he’d parked the car in the zoo parking lot. “Roo, dial it down a notch. Y’r getting a little _too_ excited. Y” gotta breathe a little.”

In short order, the three of them were unloaded from the car. It was a perfect day to go to the zoo. The sun was shining brightly and their jackets were enough to protect them against the slight chill in the wind. Remy took Andrei’s hand on one side and on the other he reached out and took Spencer's, delighting in the little blush that earned him. He’d come to realize that Spencer might not often initiate touch in public but he enjoyed it. He was just shy. Well, except behind closed doors. _Dieu_ , the man could get bold in private. It was such a contrast to who he was out in the world! Remy loved it.

He pulled himself out of those thoughts just before they reached the front gate. Remy let go of Spencer to pull out his membership cards and he was surprised to see Spencer pull one out as well. Then he realized he shouldn’t be. Spencer probably came here with Henry. As if reading his mind, Spencer smiled at him and held the card up, saying “Henry and I come here. Garcia has one too. It’s one of our favorite places to take him.”

Once they were inside, Remy looked down at his son, who was trying to look in every direction at once. “All right, Roo. Where we gonna go first?”

Andrei bit his lip for a moment in obvious thought. His expression suddenly lit and he gave a grin identical to Remy’s. “De flying horses, Papa!”

“De flying horses it is, petit.” Remy took Spencer's hand once more and they set off. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Spencer was furrowing his brows, obviously thinking about something. Amused, he couldn’t resist asking “Y’ okay dere, Spencer?”

The young genius looked at him curiously. “There are no flying horses here.” He pointed out seriously. “There are no flying horses anywhere.”

For a second Remy couldn’t say anything. Then he started to laugh. He couldn’t help it. The tone to Spencer's voice was so serious and his expression was so confused. Remy laughed so hard he stumbled slightly. If it wasn’t for the hands in his, he might’ve stumbled worse. He fought to bring his laughter under control, smothering it down until it was only soft chuckles. They rounded a corner on the path and Remy gestured with his chin towards the attraction ahead of him. “ _Dat’s_ de flying horses, _mon chéri_.”

Spencer looked away from him and over to where he’d gestured. When he saw what was ahead of them, it took a second for it to click. “Wait…you mean the carousel?”

“ _Oui_. Back home dey call dem de flying horses.” His laughter bubbled up again and he shook his head. “Poor Spencer. Y’ look so confused.”

Andrei yanked on Remy’s hand, pulling his attention back down to him. “ _Papa_! Can we go? Look, they’re starting a new one! Can we go on now, _s’il tu plait_?”

Spencer squeezed his hand before letting go, giving him a look with a hint of humor in it. “Go ahead. I’ll wait here for the two of you.”

On impulse, Remy leaned in and snatched a kiss from Spencer before turning and scooping Andrei up in his arms. Together, the two hurried over to take their turn on the ‘flying horses’. Watching the two of them go, Spencer shook his head. Flying horses; really. That was just a silly name for a carousel. Sure, he could see how they got that. He could see why a kid would think the horses were ‘flying’. But it was just a silly thing to call it. Still, it was worth the confusion and the slight embarrassment of misunderstanding him. Hearing Remy laugh that way had made Spencer smile.

Spencer leaned back against a railing and watched as Remy and Andrei got onto the carousel. Remy lifted Andrei up, settling him onto one of the horses, keeping a hand on his waist to keep him steady. The little boy was a handsome miniature of his father. They were both in blue jeans and t-shirts, Andrei’s with a picture of superheroes and Remy’s was just a plain black shirt. They had what looked to be matching boots on, both black. The only big difference was Andrei’s denim jacket and Remy’s typical leather trench coat.

In the pictures at Remy’s house Spencer had been able to see that Andrei had his Papa’s hair and smile and his Mama’s curls and her eye color. But putting Remy and Andrei together this way, watching them, he could really see just how much they were alike, and not just in looks. Andrei was a talker—man, was he a talker. He’d talked the whole car ride! There were times that Remy could get going like that too. He just had more energy than the average person did and it looked like Andrei had inherited that. He also seemed to have inherited Remy’s love for life. One of the things that really drew Spencer to Remy was how much the older man seemed to love the life he lived. He treated each day like it was a blessing and things never seemed to get him down for long. He always seemed to find something to smile or laugh at. Kind of like Penelope. That was a good comparison. She was the light in the BAU, a bubbly presence that helped them make it through some of the dark they saw. And for Spencer, Remy was becoming his own personal light, guiding him not only through the dark he saw at work, but the dark that still lurked inside of him.

A ringing came from Spencer's pocket. Startled out of his thoughts, he scrambled to pull the phone out, praying that he wasn’t about to be called on a case. _Please, no cases_. “Reid.” He answered cautiously.

_“Hey, pretty boy.”_

The casual greeting relaxed Spencer, as did the fact that it wasn’t followed up immediately by anything else. This wasn’t a work call then. It was a social call. Once more he relaxed against the railing and let his eyes go back to the carousel. It was just starting to rotate. “Hey, Morgan. How’s it going?”

_“Not bad, not bad. Enjoying the day off. How about you?”_

That right there would be the whole reason for this call. Spencer knew his best friend was worried about him after the way he’d been on the jet coming home. It didn’t surprise him that Derek had called to check up on him. That was just a typical Derek thing to do. A small smile curved Spencer's lips. “I’m better. Thank you for encouraging me to call him. We…talked. A lot.” Because he was far enough away from others that he wouldn’t be heard and because this was Derek of all people, Spencer didn’t just leave it at that. “We talked about, uh, about a lot of hard things. Mom, Dad, T-Tobias. And ah, the stuff after.” Even now he couldn’t say it out loud. Not because he didn’t want to but because he still had to be very careful with this. Better that he never openly admitted this to his friends, just to keep them safe in case it ever came out.

The line went silent for a moment. Spencer waited him out, watching as the carousel made another circle and he could see Andrei and Remy both lift their hands and wave to him. Grinning, he waved back. Finally, Derek responded. _“Wow. You really are serious about him, aren’t you?”_

“I am.” Somehow today those words were a little easier to say. After last night, he couldn’t deny it even if he wanted to, which he didn’t.

_“Well good for you, Reid. Good for you. I take it by how relaxed you sound that he took it all okay, too?”_

“He did.” A group of laughing and screaming kids ran past, cutting Spencer off.

_“Was that screams I just heard?”_

Spencer laughed lightly and shifted his weight a bit. “Yes. Remy and I, we brought his son to the zoo. They’re currently on the carousel.”

_“Damn, you two are serious. This is the first time you’ve met the kid, right? That’s a huge step, Reid.”_

“I know it is. I didn’t want to come. Kids don’t like me, Morgan. I weird them out.”

_“What about Henry?”_

“That’s what Remy said.” Spencer snorted. “But like I told him, Henry doesn’t seem me as weird because he’s known me since he was born, therefore to him I’m simply normal because that’s all he’s ever known me as. This is entirely different. But it looks like I’ve been nervous for no reason. I’ve barely had to talk. From the moment we picked him up from Belle’s until we got out of the car, Andrei didn’t stop talking.”

_“No wonder Remy doesn’t mind your rambles. He’s used to it!”_

“Shut up, Morgan.”

Laughter came across the line. When it settled, Derek’s voice came back, just a little more serious than before. _“While I have you away from people, I’ve been meaning to ask you. You heard anything from Paul lately?”_

That question threw him for a moment. He had to actually stop and think a little before he could answer it. When was the last time he’d heard anything from Paul? “Not since those flowers at work. I think he finally got the picture that things were over. Or maybe he and his wife reconciled.”

_“Mm. Let’s hope so. I’m just glad he’s left you the hell alone.”_

“I told you he’d get the picture.” The carousel started to slow its ride and Spencer pushed off of the railing he was leaning on. “The carousel just finished its ride, so I’m going to let you go, Morgan…”

As Remy got off the carousel, lifting Andrei to settle him on his shoulders, he saw Spencer closing his cell phone and pocketing it. He’d noticed while on the ride that his lover was on the phone and he couldn’t help but wonder if a case had come in. It would be shitty timing if it had. A look at Spencer's face as they got closer and he relaxed. He didn’t have that ‘work’ look on his face. Just a social call, then. Judging by how Spencer had come home last night, most likely it was one of his friends checking up on him. If he had to take a guess, Remy would say it was probably Derek. There was definite big brother protectiveness there when it came to Spencer. The call seemed to have relaxed Spencer just a little, too. He was smiling just a little easier. That tight look that had been at his face when he’d gotten home last night had slowly faded, as had the shadows in his eyes.

“Didya see us over dere, Spencer? Didya?” Andrei bounced on Remy’s shoulders, earning him a mock grunt from his Papa. Remy couldn’t help but laugh a little at Andrei’s pronunciation of Spencer's name, though. Talking too fast in his excitement and his accent made it come out sounding like ‘Space-er” He grinned at Spencer and said “Yeah, Space-er. Did y’ see us over dere?”

Spencer shook his head and chuckled at the teasing. He ignored Remy and lifted his eyes up towards Andrei. “I did. It looks like you were having a lot of fun.”

“Uh huh. Can we go see the animals now? Papa, can we? Can we go?”

“Let’s go, petit. Looks like de lemurs are over here.” Remy gestured off toward where the sign read for the lemurs. With Spencer at his side, they set off to go start their tour. Andrei chattered away through the lemurs and as they started the ‘American Trail’ exhibit. From the corner of his eye, Remy watched as Spencer fought to keep from spouting the facts that he knew had to be sitting on the tip of his tongue. All in all, he was doing much better than Remy had thought he would. It was easy enough with Andrei taking up most of the conversation. The few questions he asked, Remy answered easily enough using the signs that told them facts. But when they were at the wolves and Andrei was once more on his feet, standing between them, the little boy said “They’re such big _chiens_ , Papa! How big are dey?”

Remy saw Spencer open his mouth and then snap it shut and he made an impulsive decision. “Papa don’t know, petit. Why don’t y’ ask Spencer? He knows lots of random things. Maybe he’ll know, _oui_?”

Promptly Andrei turned to Spencer and grabbed his hand, giving it a tug to draw his attention. “Spacer, Spacer, how big are de _chiens_?”

“I’m not sure how big these ones are.” Spencer said carefully. At the slightly crestfallen look on the young boy’s face, he quickly amended “But the average female gray wolf weighs between 50 and 120 pounds, and males weigh between 65 and 175 pounds. They measure four to seven feet from snout to tail tip.”

Despite the fact that he wouldn’t know those measurements on any real scale, Andrei was suitably impressed. He was also immensely curious and he’d found himself a new source of information. “What do dey eat, Spacer?”

“In a zoo, their diet consists of a mixture of dry canine kibble, meat, fish, bones, frozen prey, and vegetables.”

“Dey eat fish? I eat fish! Mama makes it real yummy. Hey, Spacer, what’re dese over here?” Still holding Spencer's hand, Andrei tugged him along the path and towards the next exhibit. Remy followed after them with a fond smile, enjoying watching them. He watched as Andrei started asking questions about the beavers there and as Spencer went into a short spiel that Remy could tell was dumbed down as best as he could for the sake of the child. The more questions Andrei asked and the more Spencer answered, the more he could see that Spencer was relaxing. He felt safe and comfortable in facts; those were easy for him. It was the emotional aspect of things that tripped him up.

He was such a contrast to anyone that Remy had ever known or been with before. Spencer was like a puzzle that Remy had a feeling he would never fully complete. There were so many pieces to him, so many layers, and yet that was half the appeal to him. He could be so shy and sweet, self-conscious, humble, and yet he could turn around and be firm and bold and so much stronger than even he realized. Despite everything he’d told Remy last night, all that darkness that he’d lived through in his life, there was such innocence and light in him. It was obvious to anyone who took the time to look. Remy could see it now as Spencer knelt down beside Andrei and pointed something out inside the exhibit, telling him something that had Andrei laughing and clapping. When Spencer started to rise, Andrei held his arms out to him. The surprise lit Spencer's face first, followed by tenderness and a hint of his shyness. He lifted Andrei up, bracing on the railing by him to help him rise, and then he settled the boy on his hip and was pointing something out once more. They made quite a picture together. Hands in his pockets, Remy stared, unable to stop smiling. Love filled his heart to overflowing and it wasn’t just for the little boy. It was just as much for the man that was holding him.

Andrei turned to look at him and made a ‘come here’ gesture with his hand. “Papa, come see dis!”

Full of this warm, easy love, Remy strolled towards his boys. He put a hand on Andrei’s back and shared a smile with Spencer before obediently turning to look where Andrei was pointing. Today was shaping up to be a wonderful day.

CXCX

The car slowed down before slipping into the parking spot. Remy put it in park and let the engine idle while he turned to look at Spencer. Their afternoon at the zoo had been a great success and far more fun than Spencer had thought it would be. Andrei had latched on once he found out how much Spencer knew about the animals there and he’d quizzed him through the whole place. When they finally finished, they’d gone out to get something to eat. Now they were here at Spencer's apartment, dropping him off first as his place was closest. Remy had invited him out to the bar tonight to see the live music show and Spencer agreed to go, but he’d quietly admitted to Remy that he’d like to go to a meeting first. He was doing much better than he had been last night but it would do him good to go. So they were dropping him off at home and he was planning on meeting up with Remy tonight at Lagniappe.

Spencer snuck a glance to the backseat and saw that Andrei was sound asleep, the day’s events having tuckered him out. Smiling, Spencer looked back at Remy. “I had a good time today. Thank you for bringing me with you guys.”

“ _Merci_ fo’ coming. I’m really glad y’ were with us.” Remy lifted a hand, tucking a strand of hair behind Spencer's ear. “I t’ink it’s safe to say dat Andrei likes y’, _Space_.”

The both of them chuckled and Spencer flushed just a little. No matter how many times they’d tried to correct him, Andrei still had pronounced Spencer as Spacer. At some point about halfway through the zoo, he’d dropped the ‘er’ at the end and Spencer had simply become Space, though later Andrei seemed content to switch back and forth between the two. When Remy tried to correct it yet again, Spencer had shrugged and smiled and told him it was okay. “I don’t mind it. Henry calls me Uncle Penner half the time. It’s fine, really.”

He said close to the same thing now. “I really don’t mind. It’s kind of…”

“Sweet.” Remy supplied.

“Yeah.”

“ _Oui_ , it is. We’ll have to get us all together again sometime. Maybe next weekend, if y’ end up free. Next weekend’s mine. _Mais_ , fo’ now, I better let y’ go get y’rself ready fo’ y’r meeting.”

The two shared a kiss that was soft and sweet, matching the warmth they both felt inside. When they pulled apart, Spencer reached out and tucked some of Remy’s hair behind his ear before cupping his cheek. In his heart were the three words he didn’t dare say yet. Instead, he leaned in once more, putting everything he felt into his kiss. He pulled back slowly, tapping their noses together. “I’ll see you tonight.”

“Tonight.” Remy repeated the word.

With one last smile, Spencer stroked his fingers over the ghost of stubble on Remy’s cheek and then pulled away and climbed out of the car.


	8. Chapter 8

Things in Spencer's life were slowly changing more and more ever since that trip to the zoo. All of it seemed to be happening so gradually that he barely noticed it at first. First was Andrei. After that trip to the zoo, the little boy was apparently quite taken with him. The next weekend when he’d been at his Papa’s, he’d asked if they could pick Spencer up when they went out to the park. So the two had swung by and picked Spencer up and brought him to the park with them. Somehow Spencer had ended up being conned into spending the entire day with them, though he’d insisted that he didn’t want to interrupt their time together. But who could hold out against two identical pouting and pleading pairs of eyes? He drew the line at staying over, though. That was a step neither was ready to take yet. So far Andrei seemed to get along great with Spencer; they didn’t want to test how he’d feel about the young genius staying overnight just yet.

The other thing that was changing was him and Remy. It wasn’t anything bad or even anything that might’ve been noticeable to anyone else. But Spencer noticed it. Ever since that night at his apartment where they’d bared their darkness to one another, ever since he’d admitted to himself that he was falling in love with his crazy Cajun, things changed. It was a good change, he thought. There seemed to be more warmth between them. He found himself wanting to be around Remy even more and it seemed that Remy wanted the same thing. Anymore, Spencer didn’t spend his nights alone when he was home, unless Remy had Andrei. They spent all their free time together. The team had even noticed the change in Spencer himself. Emily had remarked that he looked happier lately. JJ teased him, telling him she knew he had someone and when was he going to let her meet them. Dave had even cracked a joke that it was bad when Spencer was the only one of them who came to work with that happy look on his face.

Life just seemed to be going well. Things with Remy were great, things with Andrei were going well, there was no sign of Paul anywhere, and their caseload at work had even been light! Spencer couldn’t help but wonder when it was all going to crash down. Then he’d shake the thought off and tell himself that, even if it did, he was going to enjoy it all now while it lasted.

It was Friday once more, a month after the trip to the zoo with Andrei and Remy, and Spencer was just getting home from work. He had plans to put away the few groceries he’d picked up and then get ready to go before heading down to Lagniappe. Tonight was another live music night and this weekend Remy didn’t have Andrei, so barring any cases, they had the whole weekend together. Penelope and Derek were both supposed to show tonight as well to enjoy the band. Derek had tried to convince him to invite the others but Spencer still hadn’t been able to bring himself to do it. With as good as everything was going, he was terrified to risk telling his other teammates that the someone he was dating was a man. That preyed on him now while he was unlocking his door.

Spencer didn’t notice anything was amiss until he was already inside of his apartment. He was in the kitchen and had tossed his keys down into the dish on the table when his eyes caught up with his brain. Carefully he set his grocery bag down and moved back out to the living room. Instinctively his eyes scanned the room for any obvious or not-so-obvious threat. And before he’d fully looked over the room, he knew. Someone had been here. It wasn’t anything big; most people might not have noticed it. A book was on top of the stack on the floor that he knew had been on his shelf before. One of the chairs by the chess board had been moved. Another stack of books had been shifted to the left by about three inches. Someone had been here.

It obviously wasn’t a burglary. None of his valuables had been taken. Spencer pulled off his messenger bag and drew his weapon. Armed, he double checked the kitchen and then the living room, as well as the living room closet, before starting down the hallway. There was the chance that whoever had come in was still in here. In the back of his mind he wondered if it was Paul. He hadn’t heard from the man for months now. Could this be him?

The hall closet and the bathroom were both clear. Spencer stopped at his bedroom door and saw that it was cracked. With one hand he pushed it open and, taking a deep breath, stepped inside. What he found was not what he had expected.

There was someone in there, all right. But it wasn’t Paul and it wasn’t some stranger or an Unsub. It was Bella Donna Boudreaux, once Bella Donna LeBeau. She was sitting on the edge of his bed, leaning back to rest on her hands. Surprise was the first emotion to hit. The second, surprisingly enough, was anger. What on earth was this woman doing here? Slowly Spencer lowered his gun and slipped it into its holster. He stared at her, unable to find words. A part of him was just slightly nervous at her being here, but it was mostly overshadowed by the anger at having his home broken into and his things messed with. Who did she think she was, breaking in to his place? He knew Remy wouldn’t have just handed over his keys and let her come here without first warning him.

“ _Bonsoir_.” Belle drawled out, lips quirked up in amusement. “I can see some of de appeal y’ have fo’ Remy. Y’ made quite a picture coming in with y’r gun drawn. Y’r a little scrawny, though. Don’t y’ eat?”

First this woman breaks into his apartment. Then, _then,_ she both compliments and insults him all at once! Spencer's rarely seen temper curled inside of him, shoved ruthlessly down with the control he’d learned a long, long time ago. That control made his voice flat and just a little hard. “What are you doing here?” _In my home. In my bed._

Belle tossed her head, settling her hair behind her. She made a pretty picture. A small, feminine body, packed perfectly into a pair of jeans and a spaghetti strap blue tank top. Sandals were sitting beside the bed where she’d obviously kicked them off. “I’m here to see y’.” She told him as if it were the most obvious thing. “Y’ been with Remy fo’ months now and I aint met y’ not even once, and Andrei talks about y’ constantly now. I figured I was tired of waiting fo’ Remy to bring y’ round, so I came here.”

“So, instead of setting up some meeting of some kind, or getting my number and _calling_ , you decided that you would break into my apartment?” There was a bite to his words that would’ve warned anyone who knew him. It wasn’t often that Spencer's anger got the better of him. But he couldn’t help the slight sense of violation he felt. Maybe if she’d just broken in and waited in the living room, maybe then he would’ve been able to keep calm. But he’d seen signs of a search in the living room. She’d gone through his things! Even in here, he saw signs of a search. A picture that had been moved, a drawer that wasn’t shut all the way.

She must’ve caught on to his tone because the little smile she wore faded just slightly. “I been asking Remy to set up something _mais_ he keeps putting it off.”

Spencer took a deep breath and pushed his temper down even further. It would get him nowhere in the situation. Turning away from her, he started out of the room, calling back to her. “I’m not doing this in my bedroom. Come out to the kitchen; I’ll make coffee.”

Going through the familiar process of brewing a pot of coffee gave Spencer something to do with his hands and a moment to think clearly. The more he thought, the more his temper started to fade. He just wasn’t good at staying angry. _I can’t really be that mad at her for this. Really, all she did was break in and look around. She didn’t take anything. It doesn’t even look like she did a serious search. Just a nosey look-around. And how can I be mad at her for that when Garcia did a much more invasive search on Remy when she ran his background check? Knowing Garcia, she probably dug up every secret Remy’s ever had that can be found electronically. That’s immensely more invasive than a search of a home._

Footsteps behind him warned him that Belle had finally come out. He was just closing the top of the coffeemaker when he heard her sit down at the stool Remy usually sat in. “I’ve upset you.” She said simply.

There was no real point in denying it. Wildly uncomfortable with this whole thing, Spencer stuffed his hands in his sweater pockets and turned to lean against the counter so that he could look at her. “I’m a private person. Breaking and entering is one thing. Going through my things, looking around inside my _bedroom_ …” He trailed off, grimacing. “I suppose it’s only fair, really. I mean, Garcia ran Remy. She’d do a background check on everyone in our lives if we let her. So I guess that it’s only fair that you did your own search on me.”

Belle fiddled with her bracelet, a thoughtful look on her face. “ _Non_ , I don’t t’ink dat makes it fair.” She sighed and looked down for a second before lifting her chin and meeting his eyes with a steady look. “I’ll apologize fo’ upsetting y’, Spencer. Dat wasn’t m’ goal. _Mais_ I won’t apologize fo’ being curious bout de person Remy’s so hung over, or dat _mon fils_ is growing attached to.”

“I don’t blame you for being curious, or concerned even. My mother says that, when it comes to children, parents are animals. So your concern, I can both understand and respect. But,” Here his expression and voice went serious once more and he met her, stare for stare. “none of that gives you any right to search my apartment. I don’t mind that you broke in. If you’d simply sat in the living room and waited, I would’ve been perfectly fine. But you had no right whatsoever to search my home and most especially not my bedroom. And if you ever do something like that again, there _are_ going to be problems between us. Am I clear?”

“ _Oui_.”

“Good.” Nodding, Spencer's expression softened and he gave her a smile that was just slightly shy at the edges and a tiny bit amused. He pushed off the counter and moved to pull out two mugs, putting them down in front of the coffee pot. “Now, we can drink some of this delicious new blend of coffee I found, sit at the table, and get to know one another better.”

Belle watched him pour two cups of coffee and she couldn’t help but chuckle just a little bit at the change in his mood. “Y’ know, from how Remy talks about y’, I thought I could find m’self liking y’. I’m glad to see I was right.”

“I think I’m going to like you too.” He brought a cup over and set it in front of her with a smile. “Now, cream or sugar?”

CXCX

One hour later, Spencer was laughing as Belle led him up the walk to her house. She had her arm linked through his and was telling him about one of her early dates with Remy. Apparently it had been a disaster from start to finish and was something they still both laughed about. “And den, den we was leaving de restaurant. We were ready to call it a night, yeah, after everything. We got outside, right by de cab, and would y’ believe dat m’ damn heel caught in a broken part of de curb and snapped right off and I tumbled right into him! And of course, he couldn’t just catch me. Somehow de both of us managed to not just fall, but hit de cab door and tumble right into de backseat of de cab in dis giant tangle of body parts. We looked like a human octopus!”

Laughter bubbled up from Spencer, echoed by her lighter laughter, preceding them into the house. The sound of them entering drew the attention of the two lying on the living room floor with their coloring books. Andrei and Remy both looked up. At the sight of them, Andrei shot up off the floor, crying out “Mama! Spacer!” He launched himself at his mother. Meanwhile, Remy was rising a lot slower, his expression confused as it went back and forth between Belle and Spencer. Andrei switched from Belle and moved to Spencer, arms held up toward him. What else could he do but bend down and pick the kid up? There was a little tug at his heart when Andrei wrapped his little arms around his neck and hugged him tightly.

Belle smirked at Remy. She patted his cheek as she walked past him. “ _Merci_ fo’ watching Andrei, cher. Y’ wanna stick around fo’ dinner or y’ gonna head out to eat before going to work?”

“I thought we’d go out.” Remy said slowly. He looked to Spencer, who was still holding Andrei and nodding as the kid told him all about what he and his Papa had been doing. Spencer saw Remy’s look and smiled at him. Remy raised his eyebrows in response. Amused, Spencer took advantage when Andrei paused to breathe, using that time to tell Remy “Apparently you’ve been avoiding introducing Belle and I, so she took it upon herself to come meet me. I found her in by bed when I got home from work.”

“In y’r _bed_?”

From the kitchen, Belle called out “I had m’ clothes on, Remy LeBeau.  Get y’r mind outta de gutter! Plus, he’s too skinny fo’ me. Don’t y’ feed y’r man, cher? He’s a working man, he needs to eat!”

“He aint too skinny.” Remy argued immediately. He strode toward the kitchen and Spencer followed. He had to see this. From the edge of the dining room he stood and watched as Remy stopped at the counter by where Belle was reaching into the cupboard. He crossed his arms over his chest and scowled at her. “I like him just de way he looks. Now what were y’ doing in his apartment, Belle? What were y’ doing in his _bed_?”

She pulled a plastic container holding pasta out of the cupboard and set it on the counter by the stove. Then she moved to a lower cupboard and pulled out a pot. “Y’ kept saying y’ was gonna set something up. Y’all been dating fo’ four months. _Merde_ , we was married by den! So I decided to go myself and meet him. We had a nice time after he got done yelling at me.” She started to fill her pot with water and she turned to give Spencer an affection smile. “Y’ got a fine temper hiding in dere. Y’ should learn to let it out more, _mon ami_.”

“I did not yell at you.” Spencer defended himself. “I sternly warned you. There is a vast difference between the two.”

Belle shut off the water and handed the pot to Remy. “Put dat on de stove fo’ me and set it to boil, cher.” Then she moved to another cupboard. “He’s right, though. He didn’t yell. Y’ know how y’r Papa gets dat look, Remy? De one where he just stares at y’ and speaks in dat calm, serious voice?”

It was obvious they’d flustered Remy. It showed in his voice when he replied. “ _Oui_. Used to scare me straight down to m’ toes when he’d talk like dat. Worse dan being yelled at.”

“Well, dat’s what Spencer did. Stood dere by the de counter, nice as y’ please, and warned me dat he wasn’t mad I broke in _mais_ we’d have problems if I ever did de other thing again.”

“De other thing?”

Andrei tugged on Spencer's sweater, pulling his attention over. “You wanna come see m’ room, Spacer? Mama gots me a new train _mais_ Papa and me can’t make it work.”

“I’d like that.” It would get him away from the blowout he could tell was about to begin. Setting Andrei down, Spencer followed after the little boy. They’d just gone inside his bedroom when he heard Remy groan loudly. “ _Femme,_ I swear, y’r _couillon_!”

That word made Andrei laugh. He tipped his head up to smile at Spencer. “Papa calls Mama dat when she drives him crazy. _Mais_ he says he loves her anyways, though, and dat he’s not ever really mad at her. Dey’re funny.” He reached out once more and took Spencer's hand, yanking him over to a desk on the far wall. This was definitely a little boy’s room and one that obviously belonged to a boy who loved animals. The walls were _stunning_. Spencer took a moment to simply look around him. He knew, without even having to be told, that Remy had painted these walls. It was a jungle theme all around them, with grass and trees and animals here and there. But on one wall the picture was just beautiful. The jungle thickened on the walls beside it until they converged on this wall here. Monkeys and birds were visible in the trees. And about a quarter of the way in on the right was the start of a path that wound off into the trees and then turned, leaving the mind wondering where it went to. The longer he looked at it, the more detail he saw. There was a great cat of some kind, just vaguely visible between trees. A lemur was visible through leaves on a tree on another wall. It was just, wow. Absolutely wow.

Then Andrei was tugging again and Spencer turned his attention to what they’d come in for. There was a train and its package sitting on the desk. “Papa put it together _mais_ him and Mama can’t make it go.” Andrei looked around as if looking for someone and then he stretched up toward Spencer, who squatted down to be on his level. In a stage whisper, Andrei said “It made Papa say bad words. Don’t tell Mama, though. She’ll wash his mouth out with soap.”

Spencer fought back the laughter. “I won’t tell her.” He whispered back. The two shared a smile and then turned to the train. “So, a train, hm? Well, let’s see what we can do…”

Fifteen minutes later, Remy and Belle both came looking for them. Neither Spencer nor Andrei noticed them, too caught up in the train they were just finishing putting back together. Spencer was sitting cross legged on the floor, Andrei in his lap, and they had their heads bent over the train. Spencer was holding it with one hand and with his other hand he was helping Andrei hold a screwdriver steady while the young boy twisted it, screwing in the last screw. The sight of them sitting together that way squeezed Remy’s heart. They were both concentrating so hard on their work that they still hadn’t noticed the two watching them. Remy said nothing as he watched, just drawing in the picture in his mind. He wished he had pad and pencil right then to capture this moment. The way that Andrei looked so intent on his work, the patient way Spencer didn’t even try to rush him and how he helped him steady it when the screwdriver slipped. For someone who claimed he was awkward around children and that they didn’t like him, he and Andrei sure had taken to one another quickly.

How had he gotten so lucky? Andrei loved him and talked about him quite often. He’d managed to charm Belle in the duration of an hour, it would appear. She had told Remy just a few minutes ago that he had her blessing for ‘this one’. There was just something about him that seemed to reach out to people.

The two finished that last screw and Spencer looked up as he smiled, finally catching sight of them. A light blush tinted his cheeks. He murmured to Andrei, who looked up and then hurried to jump up and take his train over to his parents, showing them that they’d put it together. While he did that, Spencer braced a hand on the desk and used that to help bring himself up off the floor. His knee protested only a little, giving a loud pop when he finally straightened up. Most of the times it didn’t bother him anymore but sitting on the floor with Andrei in his lap had put a bit of pressure on it. Just as he got to his feet, Belle was taking Andrei to his track so they could test to make sure the train actually ran. Remy moved over and wrapped his arm around Spencer's shoulders, kissing his cheek. “Y’ having fun playing with trains, _mon cœur_?”

That endearment had Spencer's heart skipping a beat. My heart. He’d called him my heart. He couldn’t keep his smile in at hearing it. “It was fun.” Still smiling, he leaned in, tucking his head in against Remy’s shoulder. He put his arm around Remy’s waist while they watched Andrei press the button on his train. His happy cry echoed in the room when the train started to move. The three adults cheered with him. Belle whispered something in Andrei’s ear and then he was racing over and wrapping his arms around Spencer's leg. “ _Merci_ , Spacer! _Merci beaucoup_!”

Spencer ran his hand over Andrei’s curls, smiling fondly at him. “You are so very welcome, Andrei. It was my pleasure.”

“Get on up here and give me m’ love too, petit. We’re gonna be getting on outta here now.” Remy said. He let go of Spencer to hold his arms out to Andrei, catching him when the boy jumped. He pulled him up in his arms and squeezed him before covering him in kisses, making Andrei laugh. When they were done, Andrei ran back to join Belle at the train, caught up in his toy. Belle smiled up at them. “Y’ two have a good night. And y’ remember, Spencer, Thursday night if y’r home, _oui_?”

“I remember. If something comes up, I’ll make sure to give you a call.” Spencer promised.

Once they were outside, Remy looked at him, lifting an eyebrow. “Thursday?”

“I was issued an invitation that was technically more of an order to come over for dinner on Thursday. She seems to have this obsession about my food intake.”

“Yeah, dat’s Belle fo’ y’.” Remy shook his head and slipped into the driver’s seat of the car. He looked over and watched as Spencer climbed into the passenger’s seat. “She don’t mean nothing by it, though. And y’ really don’t have to go if y’ don’t want to, cher. Belle, she just likes to feed people. She comes off bossy but she’s got a good heart in dere.”

Spencer finished buckling his seatbelt and then reached out and put his hand on Remy’s thigh, offering him a reassuring smile. “Really, it’s okay, Remy. She doesn’t bother me. We talked for about an hour before we came here. She’s a very kind woman.”

“She’s a nosey, interfering thing is what she is.”

Amused, Spencer settled back in his seat, smiling to himself as he watched Remy turn the car on. Honestly, he was glad to have met Belle. She was very much an important part of Remy’s life and it felt good to not only have met her, but to find that he liked her and that she seemed to like him well enough. It felt like a good step for them to take. _Too bad you haven’t returned the favor. Your team doesn’t even know you like men, let alone that you’re dating one. She at least knew of your existence before she came to meet you. When are you going to extend that same courtesy for Remy and your friends?_ As he usually did, Spencer pushed that thought back. Soon enough he’d get to that. Soon enough.


	9. Chapter 9

The rain was really coming down outside. Spencer stood at the doors to the back patio of Remy’s house the next morning, watching as the rain came down while he finished off his conversation with JJ. She’d called just to check in with him and to see if maybe he might like to come and meet up with her and Henry the next day if the weather let up. He realized that it had been a while since he’d spent some quality time with his Godson. So Spencer had agreed, dependent on the weather. He watched it rain now while he closed his phone and he wondered if it would let up tomorrow for them.

With a shake of his head, he turned and headed back toward the living room where he’d left Remy when the call had come in. He found his partner still in there, sitting on the couch. But something was different. It only took a second for Spencer to see something off in Remy’s body language. The curled up way he was sitting, kind of drawn in to himself, with this slightly defensive posture to him. Something was wrong. “Remy?” Suddenly very nervous, Spencer stopped at the edge of the couch and clasped his hands together in front of him, his eyes locked on Remy. What was going on? “Is everything okay?”

“Dat was one of y’r teammates on de phone?”

Remy’s voice was just a little bit flat. It only made Spencer's worry grow. “Yes. JJ. She wanted to see about getting together tomorrow so Henry and I can spend some time together if the sun is shining.”

Nodding absently, Remy kept staring down at his lap, never lifting his eyes up toward Spencer. Another bad sign. Remy was big on eye contact. “And y’ had to go in de other room just to have dat talk?”

“Remy…” Unsure, Spencer tugged at his fingers nervously. What was he missing here? Why did he feel like he was missing something right in front of him? “Are you upset with me for stepping away for privacy with a phone call?”

“ _Non_.” Now Remy looked up, eyes going to Spencer's. There was a hint of something on his face that tugged at Spencer's heart .Was that…hurt? “I’m upset cause y’ went in de other room like y’ was afraid I’d say something and blow y’r little secret outta de water.”

Oh. _Oh_. Spencer fought back a grimace. He couldn’t even fully deny what Remy said and that just made him feel worse. He _had_ left the room for privacy, yes. But part of that need for privacy was because he hadn’t wanted something to happen that would tell JJ there was someone else with him. Even though it hadn’t been a conscious thought, it was still there, and that had the guilt building.

Hurt flashed over Remy’s face and he turned his head away, looking toward the living room window. “I understood at first why y’ didn’t say nothing about us, Spencer. And Derek and Penny both know. I’ve been trying to keep understanding, even when it bothers me.”

“I’m sorry. I haven’t been trying to hurt you with this.” Far from it. So very far from it. He didn’t want Remy to be hurt at all. He didn’t want anyone to end up hurt.

“How’s it not supposed to hurt?” The question was delivered with just a hint of a bite to it. He saw Remy lift his chin a little, though he kept his eyes on the living room window. “I introduced y’ to _mon fils_ , and even though I put off y’ and Belle meeting, she at least knew about y’. _Mais_ y’r team doesn’t even know I exist in y’r life. How’s dat not supposed to hurt?”

“I...it’s not that simple…”

“Are y’ ashamed of me?”

“What?” Oh, God. Nausea churned in his stomach. “No! Of course I’m not!”

Remy licked his lips and looked back over at him. “Den are y’ just not serious about us? Are y’ not telling dem cause y’ don’t plan on staying with me?”

“No! That’s not it at all, Remy. I’m more serious about you than I’ve ever been about anyone.” This whole conversation was going so wrong. Spencer felt sick to his stomach and his nerves were eating him alive. There was hurt and temper both on Remy’s face and Spencer hated that he was the cause of it. Hated that he’d been the one to put it there. “It’s not as simple for me to tell them as it was for you to tell Belle. My team doesn’t even know that I like both males and females. To tell them, it could create quite a bit of trouble at work. Not everyone reacts well to this and I have to work with these people day in and day out. I have to put my life in their hands. If they don’t react well to this news…”

“So, what?” Slowly, Remy rose to his feet, his eyes staying locked on Spencer's face. “Y’r just planning on not telling dem…ever?”

“Of course I’m going to tell them!”

“Well den why keep putting it off? What makes tomorrow any easier dan today? Y’r de one with de degree in psychology and all dat profiling training. What would y’ say y’r actions show? A commitment to our relationship or a lack of it?” Remy stuffed his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants, his posture still screaming defensive. But his expression softened just the tiniest bit. “I aint asking y’ to go out and make an announcement to de whole world. Just, just one friend, Spencer. One of y’r _amis_. I need to know y’r at least dat committed to us.”

“And if I ask you to wait?” Spencer asked slowly.

A shuttered look came over Remy’s eyes. “Den I’d tell y’ not to bother coming back until y’r finally ready to commit to us. I won’t be y’r dirty little secret, Spencer. I deserve more dan dat.”

Silence fell over the room. Spencer felt like someone had just punched him in the gut. He couldn’t seem to say anything. Hell, he could barely even think! The idea of leaving Remy, of not seeing him, not having him in his life, was devastating. It was debilitating. Looking at him, he could easily see that Remy was serious. He was laying down this ultimatum. Either tell at least one friend, or they were done.

Spencer's phone rang in the silence of the room. At first, Spencer simply stood there, still staring at Remy. But he made himself break away to answer the phone call. It was too ingrained in him to answer his phone for work purposes. His eyes stayed on Remy’s face as he lifted the phone. “Hello?” He listened for a moment, having to force himself to focus on the voice on the other end. “Yeah.” He said. “I’m at Remy’s. Okay…okay. All right. Bye.” Ending the call, he lowered his hand, holding the phone tight. With a great effort on his part, he broke their stare. “There’s a case. I, I need to go.” He stayed still for a moment longer before turning and heading down to the bedroom where his go-bag was.

Five minutes later he was back in the living room. Only, Remy was nowhere in sight. A look around showed the door to the basement was cracked open; that would most likely be where he was. Downstairs was Remy’s ‘adult room’ of the house. A locked liquor cabinet, a pool table, a flat screen TV, a stereo, all the things adults could need to have a good time. Spencer bit his lip, wondering if he should go down there. Then there was a sound outside followed by a honk and he knew Derek was here. The man had said he was already en route when he called. Spencer gave the door one last look. Trying to ignore the ache in his chest, he turned and headed out the front door, shutting it softly behind him. He walked straight to Derek’s car and tossed his go-bag and messenger bag into the backset before climbing into the front seat. He moved on autopilot, his hands moving and buckling him in.

The car was already back out on the road before Derek spoke. His voice was low and just a hint hesitant. “Reid…are you okay?”

He had to swallow three times before he could speak past the tightness in his throat. “I’m fine.” It was a standard response. Inside, he was anything but fine. _‘Den I’d tell y’ not to bother coming back…’_ Those words echoed around inside of Spencer's head. He wanted to curl his arms around himself, draw his knees up to his chest. He just wanted to curl in on himself in defense against the pain those words brought. _And it’s all your own fault_ his brain taunted.

“Is everything okay with Remy?”

“It’s fine.” Spencer reiterated. “We just…it was just a fight, that’s all. We’re fine.” He had to swallow a few more times to make that tightness go away again. _…not bother coming back…_ “So, what do we know about the case? Where are we going?” He needed to think about anything else right now. Anything.

Derek seemed to understand that. He let this go, for now. “I don’t know much; just that it’s local…”

CXCX

In the round table room, Spencer looked at the folders on the table in front of him, scanning the pictures as JJ briefed the team on what they had. “Two weeks ago, local PD contacted us for a consult on a string of missing young men. They had three bodies at the time and no new victims. Jared Nikkus, Thom Isakson, and Rolland Mike. All three men were found beaten, sexually assaulted, and then strangled to death.”

“No DNA was found on any of the victims. The Unsub used protection.” Dave commented.

“That’s right. And any evidence the Unsub might’ve left behind was lost when he washed them, removing any traces of DNA that we might’ve been able to recover.”

“He’s covering his tracks.” Emily mused. “He’s smart. Smart enough to take forensic countermeasures.”

“Yet not smart enough to discreetly dispose of the bodies.” Derek added. He flipped through his folder, looking at the pictures of the dump site. “He had to make a statement there. He left them all by dumpsters, tossed there just like they were another piece of trash.”

Aaron nodded at his words. “Once they’re dead, they’ve fulfilled their purpose for him. The body that’s left means nothing to him and he wants the world to know that.”

Quickly Spencer's eyes scanned all the information in front of him. “It indicates here that all victims were kept alive for twenty four hours after their abduction. For one day, he keeps them to do with what he wants. That means he has to have a secure secondary location.”

“Somewhere he can complete his fantasy.” Dave said.

JJ lifted the remote in her hand and pressed a button and the picture of another man came up on the screen. This one looked to be in his twenties, with blond hair and blue eyes. “This is Joe Boston, twenty three years old, a college student. He was reported missing this morning, taken from his apartment just like the other three. He fits the physical description and the abductions are similar. LEO’s think he’s the next victim.”

Spencer did a mental calculation. “This says they estimate he was taken around six thirty this morning. Judging by the timeline the Unsub’s shown so far, we have twenty one hours and fifty two minutes left in which to find him.”

“That’s why we need to get right on this.” Aaron looked around at his team. “Garcia, I need you to dig into their backgrounds, see if you can find anything that connects these four particular men. If their paths have crossed before, I want to know about it.”

“Yes, Sir.” She was up and moving, hurrying out of the room.

“Dave, take Reid and go to the morgue. See what you can learn from the bodies. Morgan, Prentiss, I want you to go to the newest abduction site. I’ll head down to the police station and speak with the chief there. JJ, I’d like you to stay here with Garcia. Let’s get to work, everyone. We’ve got just shy of twenty two hours to find Joe Boston alive.”

CXCX

Going to the morgue revealed nothing that they hadn’t already learned from the autopsy report. When they finished there, Dave went to join Aaron at the station while Spencer went back to the BAU to try and see if there was enough data to build a geographical profile. If they could narrow down an area to look it would help them out. He set up in the round table room with his facts and maps and threw himself into his work, using it to distract himself as much as possible from the argument that was still preying on his mind. Every time he stopped to think about it, that sick feeling came back to his stomach. Right now he couldn’t afford that. Right now he had to work this case and find this man alive.

He had his map taped up to a board and was staring at it when suddenly a hand touched his shoulder, startling him so badly that he actually jumped back a little. Wide eyed, he spun to find JJ standing there, her face a mask of surprise. “Oh! I’m so sorry, Spence. I thought you heard me come in!”

“Oh, ah.” Spencer swallowed and tried to still his racing heart. “I was just…thinking. Running numbers in my head to try and get the geographical profile as accurate as I can make it.”

JJ cocked her head as she looked at him. The look of surprise was replaced with one of concern. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. I told you, I was just too lost in thought, that’s all…”

“Spence.” She cut him off with just the gentle use of his name. Taking a step forward, she laid a hand on his arm. She was one of the few people who he had always let touch him casually without pulling back. “Taking a five minute break won’t hurt you. Talk to me. What’s wrong?”

As much as he wanted to brush her off, he found he wanted to tell her, too. JJ had always been an important person in his life. Over the years she’d ended up becoming like a big sister to him. He’d always found himself able to talk to her. To go to her when things went wrong. The urge to do that now was almost overwhelming. A small shudder ran down Spencer's frame and his gaze dropped to his hands. “I, I’ve messed up something. Something important. And I…I hurt someone.” He admitted in a quiet voice. “And I know how to fix it, I just…I guess I’m scared to. No matter which way I look, there’s the potential for trouble in either direction. I just need to figure out which possibility scares me more. Which one I’d rather risk losing.” That was the crux of it. He had to think of which he wanted to risk losing more—his friendships, if they took the news badly. Or Remy, if he didn’t say anything.

JJ squeezed his arm lightly where her hand still rested. “I can’t imagine you hurting someone intentionally, Spence.”

“It wasn’t intentional. But that doesn’t take away from the hurt. It doesn’t make it okay.”

“Whatever it is, you know you can tell me, right? If you need an ear, I’m always here for you, no matter what.”

He gave her a little half smile with a bit of his usual shyness. But there was warmth there and the love he’d come to feel for his friend/sister. “Thank you.”

“Anytime, Spence. We’re friends. That’s what friends do.”

CXCX

The geographical profile was done and hanging up on the board. A profile had been built and delivered to DC metro police. Now they were gathered at the police station, looking at the short list Penelope had put together of people who were connected to all of the victims and who fit the profile. The next step would be interviews; speaking with each person on that list to try and piece together what they could. There was a very distinct possibility that the Unsub could be someone on that list so they had to go about their questioning very carefully. There were five people on the list, so Aaron was dividing them up, pairing them each up with an officer.

Spencer looked over the list of names and was surprised to see that he recognized two of them. “Hotch. I know two of these men.”

“What?” Aaron turned quickly towards him.

Lifting a hand, Spencer pointed at two names on the list. “Josiah McMillan and Zacharias Edgar. They both do guest lectures over at Georgetown. The last time I gave a guest lecture in the Nonlinear Ordinary Differential Equations class, I ran into both of them.”

One of the local officers spoke up in a surprised voice from where the group was watching them and waiting for their assignments. “Nonlinear Ordinary Differential Equations?”

“Yes. It’s actually a rather fascinating course…” Before Spencer could even get started, Aaron cut him off. “Reid, focus.”

“Right. Sorry, Sir.” Shaking his head, he turned his attention back to what was important. “Because of my connection, I obviously can’t speak with either, on the off chance that they do end up being our Unsub. However, I can recommend who to send, Sir. Josiah is a cultured individual and he considers money one of the most important factors in life. He doesn’t understand how I haven’t capitalized on my intelligence and made a name for myself. He’d respect someone like you, Rossi, for your money and for the name you’ve made for yourself with your books. He’ll size you up the minute you come in and most likely dismiss anyone with you. But you, he’ll speak to, because he’ll consider you equals.”

“So play up the money and his ego.” Dave said with a smirk. “Easy enough to do.”

“Zacharias guest lectures in the Linguistics department, most often for Italian, though he’s fluent in three languages. He’s a shy individual and easily intimidated but he relaxes dramatically when speaking in a language he loves such as Italian or Japanese.”

“That would be me.” Emily spoke up. “My Japanese is rusty but my Italian is still fairly up to par.”

Aaron nodded his approval at these choices. “That leaves Ryan, Peters and Rupert. Morgan, I want you to take Peters. Reid, Rupert. I’ll take Ryan. Remember, everyone, be as careful as you can about this. The last thing we want is to spook them and risk having them take out our victim before we get the chance to save him. If the Unsub feels threatened, he _will_ cut his losses.”

“Sir.” One of the officers raised a hand, drawing everyone’s attention to him. “You guys said that he spends twenty four hours with his victim. What’s to stay that they’ll even be home? Won’t they be with the victim?”

“We know that the Unsub has to have a place where he takes them to hold them for these twenty four hours. We believe that it’s most likely somewhere on his property.” Morgan said. “He’ll want to be close to home, where he feels safe, and yet have the privacy to do what he wants. So while he most likely will be with the victim, that means that he’ll also be home when we come knocking.”

“So be careful and let’s get going.” Aaron finished.

Everyone split off from the group, pairing up with a local officer. Spencer ended up with an Officer Evans, a younger officer that he had a feeling was paired with him by the chief simply because they looked close in age. There was no way the officer was even thirty yet. Spencer knew better than to judge someone by their age, though. How many times had someone looked at how young he was and assumed that he didn’t know what he was doing? It was frustrating and he wasn’t going to do that to Evans. However, he did warn him on the way over “I need you to allow me to lead when we arrive, officer. We have to go about this very delicately. If there’s a chance that he’s our Unsub and Joe Boston is somewhere on the property, the last thing we want is to spook him. One thing you and I both have on our side is that we both look younger than we really are. That’s going to come in handy.”

“Seriously?” The word popped out and Spencer could see that Evans hadn’t meant it to. The young officer flushed just the slightest bit.

Spencer smiled because he understood that sentiment. “Looking young isn’t always a deterrent. I’ve learned that you can take what others see as a shortcoming and learn to use it to your advantage. We both look young, yes. I look more like a professor than an FBI agent and you carry the look of a rookie, though I know you’re not, as no rookie would’ve been sent out here with me. When Rupert looks at us, that’s what he’s going to see. He won’t perceive us as a threat, which means that, if we play that up, he may end up revealing far more than he would to someone like, say, Morgan or Hotch.”

Evans slanted a look towards him that carried just a hint of amusement to it. “I imagine plenty of people underestimate you because of your age. Looks like that’s their mistake.”

“Yes.” Spencer said with a smile. “Yes it is.”

He settled back in his seat, focusing on the information Penelope had dug up on Rupert. In his head he built a strategy for questioning the man and tried to prepare himself. Unfortunately, that only took about five minutes. Beyond that, he wasn’t really planning anymore. He was using that information to keep his brain distracted from drifting back toward Remy. If he wasn’t careful, their fight would start replaying over and over in his head again. He knew he was obsessing over it. He couldn’t help himself! This was the first real, serious fight they’d been in. And there was a lot at stake, here. _I can’t let it affect my work, though. I do that at the wrong time and the repercussion could be serious. I need to section off that part of my life while on the job so it doesn’t end up costing me far, far too much. How does everyone else do it? How do JJ or Hotch keep from letting their personal life interfere in their work life?_ He was having such a hard time doing it. For the rest of the ride, Spencer forced himself to separate those two parts. But once this case was done, he needed to fix this and fast.

CXCX

It only took five minutes of being inside Rupert Newcomb’s house to see that Spencer had been right in his prediction in the car. Rupert very obviously looked at the young agent and officer and judged them by their age and appearance and dismissed them as any kind of threat. He allowed the two into his house and in his living room. They both stayed standing when it was obvious Rupert wasn’t going to sit. Rupert was of a like size with Aaron; Spencer estimated him to be maybe an inch taller than Aaron and probably about the same weight, give or take five pounds. His brown hair was cut short and stylish, made to spike here and there. Sharp blue/green eyes watched them with just a touch of amusement. Though the rest of his body language stayed calm, controlled, it was those eyes that the experienced profiler made sure to watch. They would give him away.

Spencer took him through the basic spiel, explaining who they were and that they were there to ask him about a few young men he’d had encounters with. According to Penelope’s information, Rupert was thirty one years old, worked at a local grocery store as a cashier, was single with no children, was an only child to divorced parents, had graduated high school but failed out of college, and had been raised in a strict catholic household.

Rupert looked at the pictures Spencer handed him, skimming casually through them. “Yeah, I seen em. They came in to the store sometimes. Came through my line a few times.” He closed the folder and held it out toward Spencer. “That’s ‘bout all I knew ‘bout em. They weren’t exactly the chatty type at the register, ya know? Just paid and left.”

“Did they usually come in alone, or was there ever anyone with them?” Reaching out, Spencer took the folder and held it in casually front of him.

Shrugging, Rupert hooked his hands in his pockets. “Sometimes. Some of them fancy, college friends of theirs. They’d come through talking and laughing and making a nuisance of themselves.” A slight sneer curled his lip before it smoothed away and there was a flash of anger in his eyes. “Like I said, they didn’t talk to me much. Boys like them, with their fancy educations, they don’t talk to guys like me.”

Alarm bells went off in Spencer's mind. His attention sharpened while his outside stayed calm and just a bit meek. “I bet that made you angry, them treating you that way.” He probed carefully.

This time it was easier to see the anger tightening around Rupert’s eyes. He had a harder time smoothing that away. But then it was replaced with a look that Spencer could only deem satisfied. “Doesn’t really matter.” Rupert said with a shrug.

Spencer's phone buzzed and he pulled it out, seeing Derek’s name on it. _Morgan, you have got to have the best timing_ he thought to himself. He’d just been trying to figure out a way to discreetly excuse himself to make a call. Holding up the phone, he gave Rupert a shy smile. “I’m sorry, it’s my coworker. Why don’t you tell Officer Evans here about some of the friends you saw these men with, if you can recall? I’ll be right back.” And Spencer pressed the button to answer the call as he made his way toward the front door. “Reid.”

_“Hey, Reid. My guy checked out already and Prentiss and Rossi are back at the station. Rossi’s checking in with Hotch. How’re things going with you?”_

Wow, they’d gone through their suspects fast, hadn’t they? Then again, his and Evans’ had been the furthest from the station, almost twenty minutes. This was a secluded bit of property with the house and a barn in the backyard. Spencer chewed on his lip as he opened the door and stepped outside, letting it slip shut behind him. He tried to think of how to word this. There was a very good chance that he would still be able to be heard if he stood here on the porch, so he moved down the porch and toward the car, hoping it would look casual if Rupert looked out the window. “So all of you are back at the station, then?”

 _“All except Hotch. Is everything okay?”_ The last part was asked just a bit sharply. Derek hadn’t failed to notice that Spencer hadn’t answered his original question.

“I’m not quite sure.” He cast a look over his shoulder.

Derek didn’t waste any time. _“Are you in danger?”_

“Not yet, I believe. I’m not absolutely positive. There are signs, though.”

_“Hang tight, Reid. Do not do anything yet, we’re on our way. Keep him calm until backup arrives.”_

A wry grin tugged at Spencer's lips. “I’d kind of already figured that one out on my own, Morgan, but thanks.”

_“Smart ass.”_

Anything more that might’ve been said was cut off by the sound of two quick gunshots from inside the house. Spencer swore and spun, drawing his weapon and dropping the phone. He didn’t hear Derek shouting out his name. Every inch of him locked down in and he switched over fully to Agent Reid. He moved quickly and carefully, taking one final deep breath before going back in the door. He was only two steps in when he heard another door towards the back of the house. That was about the same time that he saw Evans on the ground, bleeding. Son of a bitch. Hurrying over, he squatted down beside him, automatically reaching to find a pulse. He didn’t have to. As soon as he dropped to one knee, Evans opened his eyes. “Go.” He croaked out. “Go. He’s panicking and he’ll go kill the kid. Go.”

Spencer yanked off his sweater and put it over the wound on Evans’ stomach. Then he grabbed his hands and put them over. “Put pressure right there. Backup’s on their way.” That was all he had time for. Raising his weapon, Spencer rose to his feet and hurried toward the backdoor. He flung it open in just enough time to see Rupert darting toward the door to a barn at the back of the property. Spencer took aim and fired once, twice. There was a shout and then Rupert was in the door and Spencer was running. His heart was pounding as he hurried forward. This had to be one of the single most stupid things he’d ever done, chasing after an armed Unsub on his own, with one officer already down and no vest. But if he didn’t hurry, Joe Boston could die, and Spencer knew he couldn’t let that happen.

The door to the barn was still wide open. Spencer gripped his gun tighter for a second and gathered what courage he had and he moved slowly and carefully into the semi-darkened barn. He was barely five steps in when Rupert stepped out of a stall at the other end, holding a body in front of him as a human shield. One look told Spencer that it was Joe Boston. His stomach clenched at the sight of the beaten and bruised naked man. Both his wrists and ankles were tied together with rope and he stumbled slightly when Rupert pulled him out. Spencer adjusted his aim, trying to find a clear shot and not finding one. “Rupert, you don’t have to do this. Let him go.”

“I know I aint gotta.” Rupert sneered at him. “But I _wanna_. Now, unless you want me to blow his brains out.” He pulled his gun around, letting Spencer see it as he pressed it against Joe’s head, pushing over his hair and making the young man tremble. “I suggest you drop your weapon, _Doc_. You got till three. One…Two…”

Mentally cursing, Spencer turned his hands, holding the one out empty while moving with the other one toward the ground. “Okay!” he cut in before Rupert could say ‘three’.

“You’re no better than they are.” The fury on Rupert’s face wasn’t hidden anymore. It was right out there in the open. He was glaring furiously at Spencer as the young agent straightened back up. “You think I didn’t see it? Fuck. You walked in so damn sure of yourself, calling yourself doctor like you’re some special shit or something.”

“Is that why you hate them so much?” Spencer asked him. He took a tiny, hesitant step forward. “Because they’re in college, gaining an education, while you barely managed to finish high school?”

“You shut up!” The gun pressed a little harder against Joe’s head and the poor man made a whimpering sound. “You don’t know nothing, you hear me! You don’t know nothing!”

For one instant, Spencer locked eyes with Joe. What he saw gave him just a small bit of hope. While Joe was terrified, he was not broken. There was fire in his eyes that clearly said he hadn’t given up yet. He was still willing to fight for his life. It told him that, if the gun wasn’t against his head, Joe would fight. So Spencer did the only thing he could think of. He tried to get the gun off of Joe. The only way he could think of to do that was to get it pointed at him. Strengthening his resolve, he looked back at Rupert and put on his most disdainful look. “Anything.” He said the word slowly and clearly. “You mean to say I don’t know _anything_. And I know plenty, Rupert. Far more than you think I do. I know you’ve always been last in your class. Always the slow one, the one that people laughed at.” As he spoke, Spencer kept inching forward, getting himself closer and closer. “I know you tried college, hoping to use it to get out from under your Daddy’s thumb, but you couldn’t manage to make it. Just like I know that all of this isn’t about intelligence. You didn’t rape and kill these men just because they were smarter than you.”

Rupert’s hand shook and his face was slowly turning red. “You don’t know shit!”

“But I do, Rupert. This isn’t about their intelligence at all, is it? That may have caught your attention, but it’s just a smokescreen. You’re not hurting them because they’re smart. You’re hurting them because they’re everything that you’re not. They’re what you wanted to be, what you should’ve been. What your Daddy tried to make you be. You beat and rape them as punishment for their success, not because you actually want them. You punish them the way your father punished you.”

“ _Shut up_!”

Finally, Rupert turned the gun toward him and Spencer gave Joe one last look, hoping he would get the hint and drop away. The other man reacted far more than Spencer had thought. He’d hoped Joe would understand and would drop out of the way now that he was free of the gun. Instead, the young man snapped his head back, slamming it right into Rupert’s face. Rupert cursed and threw him against a stall, bringing a hand up to his now bleeding nose. Spencer wasted no more time. He was closer to Rupert now than he was to his gun; he did the only thing he could do. He leapt at him. The two hit the ground and the gun went skittering away. Spencer pushed off of him and lunged for it, knowing it was his best bet. He wasn’t the best in a physical fight. But Rupert grabbed him and he went to the dirt, coughing from the force of impact.

Survival instincts kicked in and adrenaline coursed inside of Spencer. He kicked out, trying to get free, scooting further and further along the dirt. His hand was so close! Then a hand fisted in his shirt and yanked him back and Spencer suddenly found himself slammed into the ground, pinned by Rupert’s body. A hand fisted in his hair and slammed his head down onto the ground, twice, stunning him enough that he couldn’t see, couldn’t move.

“You son of a bitch.” Rupert swore at him. A fist connected with Spencer's stomach and he gasped for air, only to have his breath stolen again by another fist. “You little son of a bitch. You think you’re so smart? I’ll show you! I’ll show you!”

Another punch and then hands grabbed at his shirt, ripping it open wide. It only took a split second for Spencer to realize what was going to happen and for his body to start to react. He bucked up, fighting past the pain and dizziness to strike out with his hands. He got a solid blow in to Rupert’s face before his wrists were grabbed and pinned to the ground above his head. Rupert’s weight settled over him and Spencer fought to buck up again, his mind screaming, begging for backup to get here. For _anyone_ to get here. But no one was there to help him. He was on his own and this man was running a hand over his stomach, his chest, then down to unhook his belt and Spencer thought he was going to be sick.

He jerked his legs, trying to move them beyond Rupert’s pinning weight. The man just laughed down in his face. “Fight, little bitch. Fucking fight. I’ll win. I always do! Not such hot shit now, are ya?”

Spencer glared up at him and did the only thing he could think of—he gathered up all the moisture in his mouth and spat straight up into his face. The instant of shock that created was enough. He yanked his hands free and brought them down, one hand already balled up in a fist. The blow to the head knocked Rupert off of him, but only for a second. Spencer was barely even up before he was slammed into again. This time Rupert dug a knee into his stomach to hold him down and Spencer couldn’t restrain the hoarse cry he let out. He put all his strength into rolling his body, rolling them just enough to the side that he could get the leverage to yank his knee up and slam it right between Rupert’s legs. Rupert dropped down to the ground with a cry and Spencer moved faster than ever, diving over to the gun and grabbing it off the ground. In a flash he spun and pointed it at Rupert, pushing to his feet as he did. “Don’t move!” he shouted out hoarsely.

Keeping the gun trained on Rupert, Spencer moved over to retrieve his own gun. He saw that Joe had managed to move, scooting over to where Spencer's gun was. He’d been trying to help. Spencer stood between him and Rupert now, panting slightly, but he kept his eyes trained on Rupert. Then he heard footsteps right by the barn door followed by the sweetest sound. “FBI!”

The barn filled with agents and Spencer could’ve wept with relief. Emily, Aaron, and local officers moved right to Rupert while Derek and Dave came over with more officers to where Spencer and Joe were. Someone shouted by the door for medics.

Derek rushed right to him. Spencer stepped back and waved him off, looking to the ground. “Get him first, please. Get him help. He needs a medic, bad.”

“They’re coming, kid.” Derek said gently. It looked like he wanted to still come to Spencer, but he knew his job. He knelt down by Joe and started to work on the rope on his wrists while Dave did the one at his feet.

Aaron came hurrying over toward them, his eyes locked right on Spencer. Rupert was being escorted in handcuffs out of the barn by two other officers. “Reid.” Aaron stopped in front of him, eyes scanning him. Spencer knew he probably looked a sight. His tie was over one shoulder, his shirt ripped straight open down the front, his pants were hanging slightly on one hip and his belt was undone. He was covered in dirt and some blood that was either his or Rupert’s—he thought it was Rupert’s, from the blow to the nose and the hits Spencer had gotten in—and his stomach was already bruising while his head felt like it had been smashed with a hammer in the back. He wondered if he’d hit a rock or something when Rupert had hit his head to the ground. Aaron took all of these things in with one sweep of his eyes before looking at Spencer's face again. “We need to get you to a medic.”

“I’m fine.” The response was an automatic one. Yet his body almost instantly started to wobble a bit in direct contradiction to his words. Aaron quickly reached out and steadied him. It was a good thing, too, because the world was starting to spin just a little bit. Spencer had to close his eyes and trust himself over to Aaron’s hands, otherwise the spinning might’ve made him sick. Another set of hands came on his other side. These were smaller; Emily. “Can you walk?” She asked him. He managed to nod at them before forcing out a “Yeah.” _With help_. Together, with the help of his friends, Spencer made his way out of the barn and towards the house.


	10. Chapter 10

For what felt like the hundredth time, Spencer told the people around him “I’m _fine_.” He was sitting on the edge of a hospital bed, thankfully still wearing his own pants. His shirt had been discarded so the doctor could look him over and check the bruising on his stomach. After being thoroughly checked over and even x-rayed, he’d been declared fine. There was no serious damage to his head from hitting the ground. It left him with a headache that wasn’t going away and that the doctor warned would probably be there most of the night and with a knot on the back of his head. Otherwise, the rest of the damage was simply bruising. No ribs were broken, thankfully. His stomach would be sore for a while but Spencer knew he’d handle it. He’d taken worse hits to his stomach before. The other bruises on his back, his arms and his legs, those were simple and would just heal on their own. He wished they would’ve given him a shirt of some kind, though. It felt extremely awkward to be sitting here with no shirt. He didn’t like being this exposed.

Once he’d been cleared, the team had come in. The first thing he’d demanded was that they tell him how Evans was doing. When they told him that he was in surgery but the doctors were positive about his chance for recovery, Spencer sighed in relief. Then had come the part he wasn’t looking forward to. “What happened, Reid?” Aaron asked.

In clear, concise terms, Spencer told them everything from the minute they’d gone in the door until the time that help arrived. He kept his tone professional, not allowing emotion to seep into his words. It was easier that way. The last thing he really wanted to do was let himself think about things. He didn’t want to think about what it had felt like to lie in the dirt and be felt up by a sadistic pervert. He didn’t want to think about how close he’d really come, or what could’ve happened if he hadn’t fought so hard. Once his story was done, he tried to lighten the moment by giving Derek a small smile and saying “I guess your self-defense lessons really did sink in.”

“I guess they did.” Derek blew out a breath and shook his head, half his mouth quirking up. “You kicked ass, kid. I got a look at the guy when the medics fixed him up.”

“The nose was Joe.” Spencer reminded him.

Dave let out a low chuckle. “That just means everything else was you.”

Emily reached out and touched his arm, startling him enough that he jumped just a little. None of them commented on it, but she drew her hand back. “Did the doctor clear you to leave?” she asked.

A small scowl twisted Spencer's face. That had been a hard won point with the doctor. The man had wanted to keep him for observation, which seemed ridiculous to Spencer. Bruising and a bump on the head were not reasons to stay overnight in a hospital! He would heal up much better at home. And home was where he wanted to be. Plus, when he got out of here, he had something very important to take care of. He couldn’t do that from a hospital bed. “Eventually, yes. He said I’m clear for work as well, I just need to take it easy for the next week or two.”

“So no more tackling Unsubs.” Derek teased him.

He gave his best friend an amused look. “I think I’ll leave that to you.”

While the others laughed, Aaron kept his gaze steady on Spencer. He waited for quiet before he spoke up. “You can come in Monday and make your official statement and take care of any paperwork pertaining to this case. Other than that, I want you off for the rest of the week, Reid. This isn’t negotiable.” He tacked that on when it was obvious Spencer was going to argue. “You need rest from this. Go home, Reid. Morgan, can you give him a ride? The rest of us will go and take care of Rupert.”

“What about Evans? I want to be here when he comes out of surgery. And Joe? How’s he? I need to be here…”

“We’ll call you as soon as we know anything, you have my word.” Aaron told him.

“Hotch…”

“Nuh uh.” Derek cut in. He pulled off his jacket and stepped up beside Spencer, wrapping it around his shoulders, able to see that Spencer wasn’t just cold, but slightly embarrassed as well at being half dressed. “Come on, pretty boy. Let’s get you home. First, though, you’ve got some anxious ladies waiting out in the waiting room. You’ve gotta stop in and let JJ and Garcia see you before we leave.”

Oh, boy. Yay. JJ was going to fuss and Penelope was probably going to try to squeeze him before she started fussing too. If he wasn’t careful, he’d end up with one or both trying to come home with him to help ‘take care’ of him. That was the very last thing he needed. He carefully moved off the bed, only wincing a little at the protest from his ribs. Who knew that guy could hit so hard? It almost felt like the bruising went straight down to his ribs.

On his feet, Spencer looked around at his friends, gathering the courage to do what it was he’d decided while the doctor had looked at him. Stuck sitting in this bed and being examined, Spencer had retreated into his thoughts to distract himself from the pain. Instead of thinking about the case—he didn’t really want to think about that, it made him start to shake just the slightest bit—he’d started thinking about Remy. And as he thought about him, he realized something very important. He’d been stressing about people’s reactions so badly that he’d almost let it cost him something very, very important. Earlier, he’d told himself he had to think about what he was scared of losing more; his friendships, or Remy. He had that answer now. “I, um, I know this is slightly random, b-but I was um, I was wondering if you guys might be free later tonight, once things are wrapped up. I’d like it if you could all, um, come down to the bar, Lagniappe. It’s kind of important. I’d like JJ and Garcia there, too.”

They gave their agreement so easily, it surprised Spencer a little. He saw something in Derek’s eyes, an approval of sorts as well as a strong support that told him that Derek knew what he was doing and was going to support him wholeheartedly. That would make it a little easier. Committed to this now, Spencer nodded. Now it was time to go.

Walking was a little slow going at first until he got his breathing steady. He moved beside Derek, the others in front of them, and when they reached the waiting room he tried to brace himself to deal with the ladies reactions. What he found wasn’t exactly what he was expecting. JJ and Penelope were both there…and so was Remy. The three rose when he came out and Spencer and Remy’s eyes locked across the room.

Only one thing came to Spencer's mind and there was no stopping him from acting on it. He didn’t care who was watching or what anyone thought right now. All thoughts of his carefully planned evening, of how he had decided to tell his friends, it all fell away. With the first honest sign of emotion the others had seen from him since they’d found him in the barn, Spencer croaked out “Remy” in an aching voice. Then he stepped around everyone and moved right toward him. Remy opened his arms automatically when he got close and Spencer found himself in the one place he wanted to be—wrapped tight in Remy’s arms. It made his bruises ache but he didn’t care. He brought his arms out, accidentally dropping Derek’s coat when he did, and he wrapped them around Remy’s waist, holding him as tight as he could. He buried his face against the curve of Remy’s neck and found that it was suddenly just a little bit easier to breathe.

He didn’t notice anyone’s reactions around him. He didn’t even notice that Derek stepped forward and picked up his coat. All he could focus on was holding this man and being held in return. “How’d you know to come?” He murmured against Remy’s skin. Remy’s head turned a little, his face pressing in close so he could murmur back. “Penny called me. She said y’ were hurt and y’ might need help getting home. Why didn’t y’ call me, Spencer?”

“I hurt you. I wasn’t sure that y-you’d come.” He admitted quietly. Embarrassed, Spencer closed his eyes and tightened his grip a bit more. “I’m sorry, Remy.”

“Hush now, _bébé_. Hush. We’ll talk about dis at home, _oui_? I got y’ now and I aint going nowhere.”

Home. Strange, how he didn’t picture a place anymore. Home was right here, right in his arms. Spencer took a few ragged breaths, trying to get himself back under control again. Only when he was sure he was calm did he dare to pull away a little. He didn’t move far, though. Just enough that he could tip his head and look up into Remy’s face. Heart in his throat, Spencer stared at those green eyes he so loved to lose himself in, and he did what came naturally to him. He stretched up just the slightest bit and pressed his lips against Remy’s in a quick, gentle kiss. The shock on Remy’s face when he pulled back was priceless. Keeping a loose grip around him, Spencer moved just a little so that he was more against Remy’s side, and he looked at his friends, preparing himself for whatever he might find. Penelope and Derek were both grinning at him, standing near and obviously supportive. Dave had a tiny smirk on his face and a look that suggested that he’d already figured this out. Aaron looked just as calm as normal, but to those that knew him there was a hint of a smile playing at the edges of his lips. Emily looked stunned, as did JJ, but the both of them were smiling.

A weight slid off of Spencer's shoulders at those looks. Smiles. He was getting smiles. No one was angry or upset or mocking or hurtful. Just…smiling. They were all smiling. Tension started to drain away and he leaned just a little more in against Remy, letting his head rest against him. He didn’t realize the image he presented to his team. Shy little Spencer, who didn’t feel comfortable even changing his shirt where anyone else could see, was standing shirtless in the waiting room of the hospital while cuddled up against the side of a man they didn’t know, and he didn’t appear the least bit bothered by the arm that was wrapped around him. The guy who still jumped when touched and who didn’t shake hands with people didn’t seem to mind that Remy’s hand was stroking over his bicep. Spencer actually found the gesture soothing. The profilers watching him could easily see the way Spencer relaxed into Remy, the comfort and affection obvious between them. Even without the kiss, there was no denying there was something between them. They’d all been able to see it in the way that Spencer had gone straight to Remy’s arms. Instead of shying away from physical contact, he’d sought it out.

A crooked little grin grew on Spencer’s lips, only a hint of shyness at the edges. “Everyone, I’d like you to meet Remy LeBeau. Remy, these are my teammates. You know Morgan and Garcia. This is David Rossi, Aaron Hotchner, Emily Prentiss, and Jennifer Jareau.” As he introduced each one, he gestured at them with his hand, showing Remy which name went to which person.

Remy stuck a hand out, shaking theirs one by one, grinning broadly the entire time. His happiness was practically radiating from him. “It’s a pleasure to meet y’all.” He drawled out, his accent just a little thicker as tended to happen when he was emotional. “Spencer speaks very highly of y’.”

“Wait a second…” JJ cocked her head a little and looked him over. “Weren’t you the one that Spence met at that bar a few months back? Lagniappe?”

Remy nodded at her. “ _Oui_.”

“Four months and five days ago, actually. We’ve been, um, seeing each other since then.” Spencer stammered out, flushing just a little. He shifted under their scrutiny and the movement jarred his head a little, making him suck in a breath, which only succeeded in making his stomach start to throb. His hand clenched down on Remy’s hip and his head bowed down just a little. Remy automatically turned toward him, one hand coming up to cradle the side of his neck, his thumb stroking over Spencer's jawline. “Careful breaths, cher. Not too fast and not too slow. Dat’s it. Dere y’ go.”

Behind him, Spencer heard Derek’s low voice. “Why don’t you go ahead and get him home? That’s what he needs most right now. We’ll get together tomorrow or Monday, Reid. You just rest tonight.”

Remy shifted his weight, moving one arm and then the other off of Spencer. He brought them back around him when he tucked something over Spencer's shoulders. It took a second for him to realize that Remy had pulled his trench coat over him. Then Remy was tucking him in under one arm, keeping him close against his side, and Spencer was being led out of the waiting room. His head was still pounding and the lights weren’t helping much. Trusting himself to Remy’s care, he squinted his eyes mostly shut, blocking the light out. He exchanged short goodbyes with the team before he was being led out a door and towards Remy’s car.

CXCX

The ride home was quiet. Mostly it was because Spencer's head was still throbbing and the movement of the car had him slightly nauseous. When the car finally stopped, he was eternally grateful. The aching, he could deal with. The headache combined with the roll and pitch of his stomach—that, he could live without. Still it was sticking with him enough that he didn’t even protest when Remy came around the car and helped him into the house. On his own he probably would’ve wobbled his way inside. Any other time, with any other person, he probably would’ve been too embarrassed to even think about letting himself get help. With Remy, all he felt was gratitude.

He noticed that they weren’t at his apartment but at Remy’s house and he was absurdly pleased by that. Together, they made their way back to the bedroom. “Mm. Bathroom.” Spencer spoke for the first time since they’d left the hospital. “I need a shower.” He needed one desperately. They’d cleaned the areas they’d needed to at the hospital. That left the rest of him still covered with dirt. Plus, there was nothing he wanted more than to wash the feel of Rupert’s disgusting hands off of his skin. A shiver ran down his spine and he leaned just a little closer to Remy.

“ _D’accord_.” Remy squeezed him lightly and steered them toward the master bath.

Spencer leaned against the counter by the sink while Remy turned on the water in the shower stall. His bathroom was, as he put it, his personal indulgence. He had a shower stall as well as a large whirlpool tub that Spencer knew from experience could easily fit the both of them in it. Sighing, he looked down at his feet, contemplating how much it would hurt to bend over and untie his shoes. That thought was cut off when Remy moved back over and squatted down in front of him. Spencer gaped down at him before pulling away the foot Remy was reaching for. “What on earth are you doing?” He squeaked out, embarrassment making his voice just slightly higher in pitch.

There was just a tiny hint of amusement to Remy’s eyes when he looked up at him. “Helping y’ take y’r shoes off, Spencer. Y’r bruised, so bending aint de smartest thing. Now hold still and let me get dem off, _s’il tu plait_.”

He couldn’t help how his cheeks heated as Remy took off one shoe and sock and then the other. Remy rose up out of his crouch and gave a soft chuckle at the embarrassment he could see on Spencer's face. The chuckle faded, as did the amusement on his face, leaving behind concern and something else, something so strong it made Spencer's heart clench. Remy lifted a hand, cupping his cheek so gently. He said nothing. For a moment, they simply looked at one another, eyes locked in a silent communication of emotions that neither of them could seem to manage to vocalize right then.

Eventually Remy was the one to break it. He looked away, breathing in deeply and bringing himself back under control. Then he turned back and helped Spencer to remove the trench coat he was still wearing. It was amazing to the young agent that Remy hadn’t asked yet what had happened. He hadn’t asked for or demanded an explanation as to what had happened to put him in the hospital. As he reached down to unhook his belt, Spencer mentioned it, needing to know why. “You um, you haven’t asked me.” He said softly. He kept his eyes locked on his pants while he undid the button as well. “You haven’t asked what happened.”

“Y’ needed de quiet. Plus, Penny told me a little bit. She said y’ wrestled with de Unsub and y’ got hurt. De details can wait till y’r ready.”

“Shower first. Then…” Spencer looked up, stopping his hands for a moment. He chewed at the inside of his lip. “Then I…I need to talk. I need to tell you some things.”

“ _D’accord_.”

Remy helped him finish stripping and, when Spencer softly and shyly asked “Join me?” he also stripped himself down. Together the two stepped into the stall. Spencer had asked Remy in for two reasons. One, he wasn’t sure how much the dizziness was going to stick around. Two, he really, really didn’t want to be alone right at the moment. He wanted Remy with him.

The shower was one of the most intimate moments the two had ever shared. Never before had Spencer ever felt so cherished by someone. Remy sort of took over, cradling him close and gently washing him with the washcloth. He used the body wash that Spencer left here and made sure that no inch of him was left unclean. Not only could Spencer feel the dirt washing away, but he swore he could feel the disgusting touch of Rupert’s hands washing away as well. It was a cathartic experience. Remy was gentle over the bruises, taking extra time over each of them as if he could chase them away with his touch. The only pain that came was when he started to wet Spencer's hair to wash it and his hands found the knot under his hair. Spencer hissed slightly and Remy soothed him down with gentle strokes in his hair around it and a warming kiss.

By the time they were done, Spencer was lost in a cloud, floating with both exhaustion and a soft hum of pleasure. He’d had no idea how good it could feel to have someone take care of him. Cradled in Remy’s arms, with water pouring over them, he sort of drifted, just letting his mind float. He heard the water shut off and stirred a little, making as if to try to pull away. Remy just murmured, a wordless sound, and he drew Spencer out with him. Through heavy-lidded eyes, Spencer watched Remy reach out and grab a robe and bring it over. He let himself be bundled in it, the soft material only adding to that floating feeling.

“C’mon, cher.” Remy’s voice was low and a little husky. His hands were still so gentle when he moved Spencer out to the bedroom and sat him on the edge of the bed. A towel ran over Spencer's head, carefully drying his hair, making sure not to hit the lump there. Remy stood in front of him, between his knees, and Spencer couldn’t stop from leaning forward and letting his head rest against Remy’s stomach. Absently he wondered when Remy had put on his pajama pants. He hadn’t seen him do it. But he hadn’t seen him grab the towel either. His brain was moving slower than normal. Then he just decided that he didn’t really care. The towel rubbing his hair felt wonderful, the robe he wore was soft and warm, and he was resting here against Remy. What else could he really ask for?

The towel in his hair stopped and Spencer made a soft sound of dissent. He felt a hand smooth over his hair, followed by the soft sound of Remy’s voice. “Y’r falling asleep sitting up, Spencer. Let’s get y’ lying back in de bed, _oui_?”

“I wanted to talk to you.” Spencer mumbled against Remy’s stomach.

Once more that hand smoothed over his hair. “After y’ sleep. I aint going nowhere, Spencer. I’ll be here when y’ wake up.”

“Mm.” That would have to do. His eyes had closed at some point and he didn’t even bother opening them to make the careful shift onto the bed. Pain tightened his features a little and had him gritting his teeth. Eventually he was stretched out on his back. He felt Remy climb into bed with him and once the older man settled beside him, Spencer carefully rolled over to snuggle up against his side. The doctor had recommended sleeping on the side _with_ the bruising, citing that it would allow the uninjured side to expand as much as it could for deeper breathing. He’d bruised himself before and he knew that it wasn’t comfortable at first in this position, but it was one that worked for him. Plus, Remy automatically put an arm around him like this, that hand going to play with his hair in a way that he knew Spencer loved. Sighing, Spencer let his body relax. There, with his head on Remy’s shoulder, curled up safely in bed with him, he drifted off to sleep.

CXCX

Hours later Spencer woke to an empty bed. It was pain that woke him; he’d rolled wrong and it had twisted his stomach, making the bruises ache sharply. Because of that, he woke quickly and his mind was clear in an instant. He clenched his eyes shut and focused on breathing past the pain, letting it sink back down to a more manageable level. Damn. He’d have to get up and see if his messenger bag was here. Had they brought it? He couldn’t remember if he’d had it with him at the hospital or not. In it was his ibuprofen that he’d taken for his knee. Just in case, he kept it in his messenger bag so that he would be prepared while traveling on a case in the event that he overtaxed his knee and it started to swell or ache. Right now, it would ease some of his ache to take it. He thought to himself that he’d have to ask Remy if they’d brought his bag or not.

Where had Remy gone, though? Spencer felt the blankets beside him and they were still warm. That meant that Remy hadn’t left the bed that long ago. That was when Spencer heard the low sound coming from somewhere outside of the room. Remy’s voice. He was out in the main part of the house.

It took more time than Spencer liked—and quite a bit of mental swearing and jaw clenching—for him to get himself up out of bed. From experience he knew the first day after being beat up was bad, the second day was always worse, and by the fourth day he’d finally feel human once more. He knew his body and he knew how it reacted to things. Knowing that gave him the ability to get through the now. So long as he had a time frame to work with, he would be fine. He could tell himself he had so many hours, minutes, seconds until things would start to get better. It just made it easier for him.

On his feet, he didn’t immediately head out of the bedroom. The first thing he did was grab some clothes to put on. He had some things here, things he’d left behind. Remy had told him not to worry about it and had just made room in the closet and the dresser for him without another word. Neither one had mentioned that. Just as they’d never mentioned the toothbrush Spencer kept here, or the shampoo and body wash, or all of the same things that Remy kept at his apartment. Despite having some of his own things here, Spencer didn’t grab just his stuff. He took his own pair of black cotton lounge pants and Remy’s SAIC t-shirt. SAIC was the college Remy had gone to—the School of the Art Institute of Chicago. It was just a little too big on him, dipping down to show off most of one pale shoulder, and it hung a little lower than his own shirts did, given Remy’s few extra inches he had over him. For Spencer, that made it the perfect lounge shirt. This wasn’t the first time he’d borrowed it. One night he hadn’t had anything to sleep in and Remy had tossed this to him to wear. After that, Spencer had borrowed it on random occasions, even when he did have his own shirt to wear.

Putting them all on was yet another experience that required an amount of mental swearing that would’ve stunned those that knew him. Getting the pants on took sitting down on the bed and bending very carefully to get his legs into them before rising, pulling them up and tying them off. The shirt was easier because he knew how to move to minimize pain. He didn’t lift his arms high, but slid his head in first and then carefully put in one arm and then the other. Once he was dressed, he took a moment to stand there and breathe. Only when he was sure he could move did he take the robe and hang it back up in the bathroom. Then he started to make his way out of the bedroom. What he found in the living room wasn’t what he’d expected. Remy was there, talking softly as he’d heard, but he wasn’t on the phone like Spencer had suspected. Belle was there with him, and Andrei was nowhere in sight.

Belle saw him first. No sooner had she saw him than she was up off the couch and hurrying over to him. Her hug had him wincing just the slightest bit. He schooled his expression quickly, hoping Remy hadn’t seen it. With a shy smile he looked down at her when she pulled back. “Hey, Belle.”

“What’re y’ doing up? Remy told me y’r hurt! Y’ should be back in dat bed, Spencer Reid, not up and wandering around!” She scolded him.

That teased an honest smile out of him. She sounded so motherly right then. “I’m fine, really. But thank you for your concern.” Then, in an effort to distract her, he asked “Where’s Andrei at?”

“He’s over with his _ami_ , Jimmy. I needed to come pick up something and Suzanne was willing to look after him fo’ me so I could pass by here. It’s a good thing I did, _non_? Aint no one call to tell me nothing’s going on!”

Remy walked over to them, rolling his eyes as he passed Belle. “We’ve barely been home, cher. Give a body time to rest, yeah.” He moved right up to Spencer, reaching up to brush some hair behind his ear. His expression softened and warmed. “How’re y’ feeling, _bébé_?”

Why did that make his heart flutter? Remy had a ton of nicknames that he called Spencer, ranging from a simple ‘cher’—which Belle told him was very common down south, though not between men really, except maybe between gay men—to things like _bébé,_ _mon cœur_ , _mon bijou, mon cheri,_ and _mon trésor._ It reminded him a little of Penelope and the way she called them all different things. Only, whereas hers could fluster him or sometimes confuse him or even make him a tiny bit uncomfortable, Remy’s always seemed to warm him and make his heart flutter just a little. It was crazy. He’d never been big on pet names! When he heard other people use them so frequently, he just hadn’t understood why. People were given names for a reason! But it was just different with Remy. So very different.

Warm lips pressing against his snapped Spencer from his thoughts. He knew those lips and responded instantly, sighing into the kiss. Remy pulled back and smirked at him. “Y’ had y’r thinking face on. What caught y’r thoughts so intently there?”

“I was thinking about the fact that, before I met you, I never understood why people used pet names with one another and I’d always considered it slightly absurd. A person is given a name for a reason. Yet it doesn’t bother me when you do it. In fact, I quite enjoy it.” Spencer answered automatically. He was surprised to see his usually confident Cajun actually start to blush. The effect was endearing. Spencer couldn’t resist leaning in and kissing him.

Belle only gave them a second before waving her hand in the air and declaring “Enough of dat! I been out here pestering Remy fo’ answers and he aint giving me none. What happened to y’, Spencer? How de hell did y’ get beat up?”

Now that was a loaded question. Spencer carefully schooled his expression to as neutral as he could manage. “By trying to subdue an Unsub. It’s a hazard in my line of work.” And speaking of hazards with work, he spun quickly to look at Remy, a very important question spilling past his lips “Have there been any phone calls? Hotch was supposed to call to let me know how Evans is doing.”

“ _Non_ , no one called.”

Damn. Spencer chewed on the inside of his lip, wondering if this was a good thing or a bad thing. Was it one of the instances where no news was good news? Evans had to still be alive if no one had called yet, right? They would’ve called to tell him if the man had died.

“Who’s Evans?” Belle asked.

This wasn’t something Spencer just wanted to stand here and talk about. He made a small gesture with his hand and moved toward the kitchen, trusting they would follow. If he was going to explain this, better to do it while doing something. He wanted to be able to keep calm. If it had been just he and Remy, he would’ve curled up with his partner and told him everything while in the shelter of his embrace. That had been his plan. With Belle here, he didn’t have that luxury. Spencer now did what he had learned to do a long time ago; he pushed down personal emotion and focused on the facts. “Evans is an officer with the metro PD. He was with me today when we went to interview a potential suspect. Why don’t the both of you have a seat and I’ll make a pot of coffee and explain?”

Turned toward the pot, he didn’t see the way Belle made to step toward him, mouth open as if she were about to stop him, or how Remy reached out and took her arm, giving a small shake of his head. He knew Spencer well enough to read the tension in him and to know that he wouldn’t be able to sit right now. He needed the movement. The act of making coffee would give him something else to focus on as he spoke.

That was exactly what it did for Spencer. He focused on his actions as he started to speak. It was better to just tell them everything, he knew, instead of Belle asking a thousand questions and pulling it out of him little by little. Best to just get it all out at once. “The case we’ve been investigating today is one that we consulted on two weeks ago. At the time, they had three bodies. The three men had been beaten, sexually assaulted and then strangled to death. The Unsub kept them for twenty four hours after the initial abduction before murdering them. This morning, we were all called in because there was a report of another abduction. Joe Boston.”

Spencer had the pot full of water now and he paused to pour it in, concentrating on lifting his arm up that high. His gaze landed on his hand briefly and he almost spilled the water at the sight of the bruising there. Briefly he felt the grip on his wrists once more, holding them down so he couldn’t move, couldn’t fight, and he swore he was going to be sick. Somehow he managed to push it back, to focus only on what he was doing and keep the water from spilling over. Once the water was in, he put the pot back and then grabbed the coffee and filters to start preparing those. “After being briefed, we had twenty one hours and fifty two minutes left in which to find him, so long as the Unsub stuck to his pattern. I went with Rossi to the morgue first and then I came back and built the geographical profile. By the time I was done, we all met down at the station and delivered our profile. Then Garcia called us with a short list of people who all shared contact with our victims. Two of the names on the list I actually recognized. They lecture occasionally at Georgetown and they were there a few times when I stopped in to guest lecture.”

“You guest lecture at Georgetown?” Belle said with surprise.

This was a much easier and much safer topic. The ramble that had been cut off earlier came to the forefront now. “Yes, for the past few years they’ve had me stop in and lecture for their Nonlinear Ordinary Differential Equations class. It’s a fascinating topic, honestly. Their course is described as ‘Solutions of nonlinear differential equations exhibit a remarkable range of dynamic behavior -- from equilibira to chaos. This course will build students' intuition and skills for identifying and analyzing such behavior.’ I’ve also recently spoken in their Introduction to Cryptography. That was a course I found quite interesting to be in and I do hope they ask me back again.”

“I’m sure dey will.” Remy chimed in. “I doubt it’s often dey get such an experienced person dat’s so willing to speak.”

Spencer smiled at the idea of that while he finished putting the coffee into the filter. Then his smile faded away. Closing the top of the machine, he pressed the button to turn the coffee on and suddenly found himself without anything to do with his hands. He ended up turning and leaning against the counter, folding his arms over his chest and tucking his hands in his armpits. _Think of it like any other case. Just describe it like you would if you were giving a statement to Hotch or Strauss._ He could do that. He could do this. “Anyways, the list was divided up among us. It equaled out to one apiece for us all, so we each took a local officer with us. There was a chance that these people had just met our victims, or were just friends or associates. But there was a strong chance that one was our Unsub. It didn’t take long at the house we were at before I began to suspect Rupert. His obvious dismissal of Evans and I because of our young age and our looks wasn’t that surprising; I get that frequently. People often judge by appearance and it’s simply something I’ve gotten used to and learned how to use to my advantage. But his whole behavior was wrong and when we showed pictures of the victims, his reactions showed something else. I was contemplating a way to call for backup without alerting the Unsub that we were onto him when my phone rang. I stepped out to talk to Morgan, letting him know I needed backup. Then I heard two gunshots.”

He remembered that blast of terror that had hit him. Guilt sat like a lead weight in his stomach, bringing back the nausea. He had left Evans alone in there, without backup. _If he dies, it will be your fault. You never should have left him alone._ Spencer pushed that back and stared at the cupboards across from him, fighting back the images that wanted to be there. “When I entered the house, the Unsub was racing out the back door. A quick assessment showed one shot in the wall and Evans on the floor with a GSW. I gave him my sweater and put his hands over it and told him to apply pressure. I knew I had to get to the Unsub before he tried to kill the victim he still held. I followed him out back and into the barn at the back of his property. He used Joe as a human shield and had me drop my weapon. Joe was in pain but he was coherent and he was still strong. I distracted the Unsub, drawing his anger to me so that he pulled the gun away from Joe’s head and pointed it my direction. I wanted his attention off the young man. Then Joe threw his head back and broke the Unsub’s nose.”

Lost in his recitation, he never saw the two flinch when he mentioned deliberately goading him into pointing a weapon at him. Spencer just kept talking. This was the hard part. This was the part he didn’t want to talk about. And it was the part he was going to censor, not wanting to say it all in front of Belle. “I didn’t have much time or options and I had been inching forward, so I was closer to the Unsub than to my gun. I tackled him to the ground and his gun dropped. We fought until I finally broke free and managed to get the gun and subdue him. Backup arrived and he was cuffed while Joe and I were taken to the hospital.”

The room went quite for a long moment. When someone finally spoke, the words had Spencer quickly turning his head to look over at them with surprise. “Belle.” Remy said in a firm, steady voice. “I think it’s time fo’ y’ to go home. Now, _s’il tu plait_.”

Even more surprising than Remy’s random and slightly rude request was Belle’s easy response. “ _Oui_ , Remy.” She rose from her chair and bent to kiss his cheek before coming over and hugging Spencer and kissing his cheek as well. Then, without another word, she turned and left, leaving Spencer standing there speechless. He looked in the direction she’d left and then back over to Remy. “What was that for?”

Remy rose from his chair, his eyes on Spencer's face. There was something so serious there that it had Spencer unable to move away. He simply stood there as Remy walked over to him. Then the older man was in front of him and Spencer had to tip his head up to look into those beautiful eyes; eyes that seemed darker than normal. Remy brought one hand up to stroke it over Spencer's cheek. “I did dat because Belle and I could both see y’ were holding something back, Spencer. Just like we both knew dat y’ weren’t gonna say it with her here. Now, what aren’t y’ telling me?” His hand curved, cupping the side of Spencer's face. “What happened to y’, _bébé_?”

He should’ve known Remy would realize that he’d left things out. The man wasn’t a profiler but he was damn good at reading people around him. Especially Spencer. The more time they spent together, the better Remy seemed to get at it.

Spencer leaned into Remy’s hand, his eyes drifting shut. When he reached out to slip his arms around Remy’s waist, the older man easily stepped forward and embraced him. He felt Remy’s arms come around him and sighed into the embrace, his forehead going to its usual spot against Remy’s neck. “I’m so used to dealing with things on my own.”

He felt a kiss be pressed to the side of his head. “Y’r not alone anymore, Spencer. Y’ don’t have to deal with things on y’r own. Haven’t y’ realized dat yet?”

“This is so different and new to me. I’m not used to leaning on other people, yet it’s so…so easy with you. Ever since they took me to the hospital, this right here has been the only place I’ve wanted to be, and that desire is so new to me. At one time, I would’ve simply gone home. Now…now all I could think of was coming to you. I wanted to find you and tell you just how sorry I was for almost ruining everything.” That admission seemed so easy to make right here. This topic was still a hard one, yet it was infinitely easier for him than answering Remy’s question. And this was something he wanted, _needed_ , to say.

Remy’s voice was slightly hoarse with emotion. “Spencer…”

“I’m sorry, Remy.” He interrupted. Tightening his arms, Spencer closed his eye and breathed in, trying to calm himself. He wanted to say this now, while he still had the courage and conviction to do it with. He wanted to do it before he lost that courage and was one again consumed by his usual shyness and fears. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I was scared to tell my friends, not because I was ashamed of you, but because too many people have become ashamed of me once they know that I like men as well as women. Simply, I was terrified of losing my friends over this.” For this part, Spencer pulled back, needing to be able to see Remy’s face for it. He needed to see his eyes. He looked up at Remy and was bolstered by the emotion he saw swirling there. “Today, all day long, I couldn’t stop thinking about this morning with you, and I realized something. I realized I was far more scared of losing you than of losing anyone else. Losing my friendships with any of the team would hurt, yes. Horribly so. But losing you? The thought was agonizing. I could barely breathe around it. You’ve become more important to me than anyone else ever has in my life and I don’t know what I’d do without you here.” One final deep breath and then the most important words of all. “I love you.” He gave up everything and opened himself up for so much hurt with those words, yet he trusted Remy with that vulnerable part of him. He trusted the man not to hurt him.

Shock transformed Remy’s face only for a moment. Then it was replaced with such a strong joy that Spencer found himself smiling in the face of it. Remy’s hands came up, both of them cupping Spencer's face and he was pulled in for a kiss that was full of emotion, making his head spin for entirely different reasons than his concussion. Remy broke their kiss to speak right there against Spencer's lips, the most perfect words Spencer had ever heard. “I love y’ too, Spencer. _Je t’aime aussi_. _Mon amour, mon cœur._ ” He kissed him again, warm and deep.

Despite the hellish day he’d had, right then and there Spencer knew this was one moment he would always remember, eidetic memory or no. The feel of Remy’s arms around him, the emotion that shone so brightly in those beautiful eyes, the faint sheen to them that spoke of tears that weren’t quite falling, and the love and heat in his kisses. Spencer thought that nothing had ever felt more perfect or more right.


	11. Chapter 11

If Spencer thought that Remy had forgotten about his question in the rush of their confession, he was proved wrong. The sound of the coffee pot finishing its brewing had been enough to break them out of their moment and spur them back into motion. While Spencer prepared their cups, Remy disappeared for a moment, coming back with some ibuprofen for Spencer. Soon the two were settled down on opposite ends of the couch with their cups cradled in their hands and their feet tangled together in the middle. Remy let them both get comfortable before he smiled reassuringly at Spencer and said “Now dat we’re all settled in, y’ ready to answer my earlier question?”

“Pardon?” Confusion marked Spencer's face.

“What happened to y’, _mon cheri_? What’d y’ leave out?”

Oh. All of a sudden Spencer found himself inordinately interested in the contents of his cup. “Is it really important right now?”

“I don’t know, Spencer. Y’ tell me; is it?”

Those calm words had Spencer sighing. His gaze shifted off his cup and down to his hands, his wrists, looking at the bruising there once more. Was it really important? Was it really something that he should be this upset over? Sure, the man had pinned him down. Sure, he’d planned on doing a whole lot more. But he _hadn’t_. Wasn’t that what counted? He hadn’t succeeded. Spencer had fought back and he’d gotten free and he was okay. That was the part that counted. Right? “It’s not that big of a deal.” The words slid out before he even realized he’d said them. Once started, he couldn’t seem to stop. “I mean, it shouldn’t be. I’m here, I’m safe. It didn’t happen.” His hands shook a little and he clenched them tighter around his mug. His eyes were still locked on his wrists. “But…but it could’ve. And I, I can’t chase that out of my head. I can’t. Why? I shouldn’t be upset over something that didn’t even happen. I should be relieved that it didn’t and that I’m safe. So why am I so bothered by this?”

Remy said nothing, sensing that he would get more information if he just stayed quiet. Right then Spencer was speaking so hesitantly and a little jumbled. He was almost voicing his thoughts without really paying attention to the fact that he was talking to someone at all. Remy had a feeling that everything would get explained if he just waited.

He was right. Spencer stayed quiet only for a moment before he found himself filling the silence, words tripping past his lips. “When I…I tackled him, the gun dropped away and I tried to, to get it. But he knocked me into the dirt and he used my hair to slam my head into the ground. I was stunned enough he managed to hit me. ‘You son of a bitch’, he told me. ‘You little son of a bitch. You think you’re so smart? I’ll show you. I’ll show you.’ And he…he ripped my shirt open.”

Whereas he’d been worried before, Remy was on alert now, his eyes going wide. He set his cup down on the coffee table and sat forward, eyes on Spencer's face. Suddenly the bruising he’d seen on his lover’s body took on a whole new meaning and he worried about how much Spencer had left out in his story before. How bad was this going to be?

Spencer was oblivious to Remy’s reaction. His eyes were closed and his hands were clenched so tightly around the cup it was a wonder he didn’t shatter it. “I fought back as best I could. He pinned my wrists above my head and he, he was unhooking my belt. I managed to get my hand free and I hit him, knocked him off of me. I tried to run but he was fast and he got me before I got up. He put his knee in my stomach to try to pin me, but I managed to roll just enough to knock my knee up between his legs. When he dropped, I dove and grabbed the gun.” A little shudder ran over Spencer's frame. “Like I said, nothing really…really _happened_. I shouldn’t be so, ah, so upset by this.”

“Spencer.” Hands were suddenly there, taking the mug from Spencer's hands and pulling it away. Then Remy’s hands were back, curling over his, giving him an anchor. Spencer clutched at them, embarrassment keeping his eyes closed. He didn’t have to look at Remy, though. The man scooted close and spoke in a fierce yet gentle voice. “Y’ve got every right in the world to be upset by dis, _mon amour_. Don’t ever think y’ aint got de right to y’r feelings. Maybe de _connard_ didn’t get to finish what he was trying, _mais_ he still scared and hurt y’.” Remy paused and his hands clenched tighter for just a second. “What can I do fo’ y’? What can I do to help? I can go shoot him, if y’ want.”

That last part had Spencer letting out a startled laugh. His eyes opened and he blinked a few times to clear his vision. Remy was right in front of him, watching him steadily, and there was such strength and caring—love—in his eyes. Spencer felt some of his tension start to ease just looking at him. He didn’t say anything at first, just shifted his position on the couch without ever letting go of Remy’s hands. Once he was situated, he tugged on Remy’s hands, pulling him in so that they ended with Remy cradled in his arms, resting carefully against his chest. Spencer let his arms wrap around the man and he smiled. “This is what you can do.” He murmured to him. “This right here is enough.” He needed Remy’s touch right now, more than anything else, yet he didn’t know how he would handle being restrained by anything right at the moment, even something as gentle as Remy’s arms. This solved it nicely. He held Remy to him, felt those long arms loosely wrap his waist, felt as Remy laid his ear over Spencer's heart as if simply needed to hear that heartbeat.

How long the two lay there that way, Spencer didn’t know. It was so peaceful, though. After the day he’d had, this was exactly what he needed and he didn’t want to move. The peace of the night, the warmth of the man curled against him, the comfort in the silence around them, all of it soothed down that aching, panicked part of him deep down inside. Little by little it lulled him down until his body grew so relaxed, it was a natural shift into sleep. Sleep and the feel of Remy in his arms was the perfect healer from the events he’d lived through.

He was awoken later by the feel of Remy shifting in his arms. He made a soft, questioning sound, and Remy’s hands smoothed back his hair while he shushed him. “It’s all right, _mon amour._ I’m just gonna make a quick trip to de store fo’ some t’ings. I aint got nothing to make y’ dinner with.” He said. The idea of being alone had Spencer shifting, instinctively trying to move closer to Remy, and the Cajun responded by stroking his hair back again. “ _Je sais, je sais_ , _bébé._ _Mais_ I’ll only be gone fo’ fifteen minutes, maybe less. Y’ll be fine till I get back. Y’r safe here, cher. I promise.” He leaned down and Spencer woke up enough to return the kiss that he felt pressed against his lips. Then Remy was tucking a blanket around him and Spencer drifted back to sleep, out before Remy had even fully gone out the door.

Neither knew just how much that promise would come back to haunt Remy later.

Spencer woke once more to a hand in his hair. He arced up into the touch, thinking that Remy had come back and was watching him sleep again. He’d done it before and Spencer had woken up to a hand running through his hair and Remy’s eyes on his face. He sighed into that touch now and enjoyed it. Then a voice spoke above him and Spencer felt as if a bucket of cold water splashed over him. “Oh, Spencer. What have they done to you?”

Spencer's eyes snapped open and he found himself staring up into a pair of bright blue eyes. In a flash, Spencer was rolling sideways, off the couch and away from the hand in his hair. He hit the coffee table and sent it skidding sideways, but he didn’t care. He didn’t even pay attention. As quickly as his aching body would allow, he rose to his feet. Paul rose right along with him. For a brief moment Spencer could only stare, his mind utterly blank. He opened his mouth and out came the first thing he thought of. “What are you doing here?”

“Look at you.” Paul said, instead of answering. His eyes ran up and down Spencer's body. “Look what they let happen to you! You’re hurt.”

“Paul…what are you doing here?” _Here, in Remy’s house. How did you get here? Have you been following me? Oh, God. I need to get a phone. Or my gun. I need to get to my gun._ “You can’t just break in here, Paul.”

Temper flashed briefly over Paul’s face. Then it was wiped away by that same almost manic concern. “I had to come! Look at you! They don’t know how to take care of you like I do, Spencer. No one does. I never would’ve let you get hurt like this. It’s a good thing I came for you. I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again.”

Shit. Shit! Spencer took a few cautious steps sideways. His brain scrambled, trying to think of some kind of plan to get himself out of here. Paul was by the couch, positioned close towards the front door. It also put him close to the hallway. To get to a phone or his gun, he’d have to go to either the hall or down to the bedroom. To do that, he’d have to get past Paul. Just…how? He took another cautious step, eyes locked on Paul. “I got hurt at work. It’s a hazard of the job. Sometimes that happens.”

“Well, you’re just going to have to quit that job.” Paul said matter-of-factly. “It’s too dangerous for you anyways. Like I said, it’s a good thing I’m here now.”

“How did you find me, Paul? Have you been following me?” Another few steps sideways.

It was like Paul underwent a transformation. It was one that Spencer had never seen happen until the very end. The man flashed that dangerous smile at Spencer; the one he knew intimately. It always meant trouble. The concerned, caring edge dropped away to a sort of mocking humor that was all the more chilling. “Really, Spencer. Did you think you could actually hide from me? Of course I found you.” He took a step forward and Spencer almost tripped trying to take a few steps back. He ran into the wall, not caring about the pictures he crashed into. Paul just shook his head. “You shouldn’t have run away from me. I’m going to have to punish you for that now, you know.” Those words were said so cold and casual, as if he hadn’t just spoken about protecting him from anymore hurt. In that look, those words, Spencer saw that whatever sanity Paul had still held the last time they’d seen one another, it was long gone. He wasn’t the same person anymore. His obsession had taken over his life. It had changed him. And that obsession was with _him_. That meant there was no simply walking away from this. Talking Paul down just became increasingly difficult.

His best bet was to make some sort of distraction and race down the hall to the bedroom where his gun was. It was his best chance. Only, the wall was against his back; there was nowhere for Spencer to go when Paul took another step forward. Spencer pressed his palms flat against the wall and tried to summon up that bit of strength he’d been discovering in himself ever since he met Remy. He tried to find the courage he’d been working so hard on building. “You and I are not together anymore.” He said. The words barely came through a throat that was almost closed off in terror. But somehow he forced them out and gave them a strength he didn’t feel. “You need to leave, Paul, before Remy comes home.”

His words didn’t seem to have any effect. The other man rolled his eyes at him. “Enough of this, Spencer. You’ve had your little rebellion and I’ve put up with more than you deserve.” Paul warned him. He stopped right in front of Spencer and pinned him with those cool eyes. “Now, go pack your things. We’re leaving.”

“No.”

Where the courage came from to say that single word, Spencer didn’t know. But it slid out. He felt his eyes widen after he said it but he didn’t take it back.

Paul looked surprised. “Excuse me?”

 _You can do this. You can do this!_ “I said no, Paul. I’m not going back with you. I’m never going back with you. I told you—...”

The backhand to the face sent Spencer flying straight to the floor. He hit the ground with a solid thump that had him seeing stars. He tasted blood. Yet there wasn’t time for any of that. Spencer barely recovered before he shoved off the ground and launched down the hallway. He only made it a few feet before a body hit his and slammed him face first into the ground. Spencer fought with everything he had, ignoring the pain to his already bruised body. He fought to break free. But Paul’s body was stronger and the man pinned him down and suddenly a cloth was pressing over Spencer's face. One whiff and he knew what it was. He tried so hard to yank that hand away, to buck his head free, but Paul’s grip was stronger. Eventually, Spencer had no choice, he had to draw in a breath. That sickly sweet scent filled him and he couldn’t keep up his fight. Slowly but surely the world started to swim around him. With one final, soft sigh, everything around him went black.

CXCX

Remy knew something was wrong the minute he pulled into his driveway. His front door was standing wide open and he knew that he’d not only shut it when he left, but locked it as well. Seeing it open like that had a sick feeling building like a knot in his stomach. He didn’t even think about it as he shut the car off and scrambled out of his car. He didn’t think about what could possibly be waiting inside, or how dangerous it could be to rush in there. All he thought about was that he’d left Spencer sound asleep on the couch.

His fear grew when he found the scene waiting inside. His coffee table shoved across the room, pictures knocked off the wall and onto the floor, an end table tipped over sideways. And Spencer nowhere in sight. The sick feeling in his stomach grew bigger. His legs carried him further into the house. Maybe Spencer was in here somewhere. Maybe he was hiding from whoever had done this. Maybe he was just tucked away somewhere, waiting for Remy to get home, or waiting for help. Maybe…maybe…maybe…

Spencer was nowhere. He wasn’t in a single room in the house. That sick feeling had tripled by now. He felt like he was going to throw up. Someone had come in his house and Spencer…Spencer was gone. Remy knew enough to recognize the signs of a struggle here. Spencer hadn’t gone willingly with whoever took him. And Remy knew someone had taken him. He wouldn’t just leave with the place like this, and all of his things were still here. His messenger bag, his phone, his gun. All of it. No, he hadn’t left. Someone had taken him.

Only one thing came to mind. One person that Remy could think of to call. Terrified in a way he had never known before, Remy raced to his phone and he dialed a number of the only person he could think of to help. When the person answered, Remy wasted no time. “Derek, it’s Remy. Y’ need to get over here, now. Someone’s taken Spencer…”

CXCX

In no time at all, Remy’s house was crawling with FBI agents, local police, and a crime scene unit. Photos were being taken of the living room and the hallway and the place was being dusted for fingerprints. Everyone was doing what they could to try and piece together exactly what had happened here. To get out of their way, Remy was in the kitchen making up a fresh pot of coffee. It gave him something to do so that he wasn’t just sitting there thinking about Spencer and what might be happening to him right now. Wondering whether he was hurt. It hadn’t been long ago that Spencer had been standing here in the kitchen, making a pot of coffee as he spoke of what had happened today. Now…now this.

He shook his head to try and clear those thoughts and went back to gathering cups from the cupboard. Turning, he placed them on the bar in front of the four agents there. Three of them were seated at the counter bar and Aaron stood at the end, all of them watching Remy as he moved nervously through the kitchen.

“Why don’t you walk us through what happened since you and Reid got home?” Derek suggested. He seemed to be taking a slight lead on things here. Most likely because he was the one that Remy actually knew.

With the ease of one who had bartended for quite a few years, Remy easily poured coffee and gathered the cream and sugar for them all as he told his story. “We didn’t do anyt’ing special. I brought him here, got him cleaned up and tucked into bed. He slept fo’, oh, an hour maybe. Den Belle showed up and I went out to answer her knock. Spencer, he heard us at some point and came on out, told us what happened while he made coffee. Den Belle went home.” His hands didn’t falter as he put the pot back, but his heart gave a throb.He didn’t tell them what came next. It wasn’t their business that they’d stood there and Spencer had said ‘I love you’ to him. They didn’t need to know about that private moment between them. That was a memory Remy wanted to hold close to his heart, not share amongst the world. He cleared his throat and tried to act as if he hadn’t been just staring at the coffee pot. He turned and busied his hands, digging around in the cupboard for a bowl and a big bag of chips. It was ingrained in him from childhood to offer food and drink to guests in the house. “After Belle left, Spencer and I talked alone on de couch fo’ a while. I curled up with him and he fell asleep again. I knew he’d need to eat when he woke up and I didn’t have much fo’ food in m’ house, so I woke him up enough to tell him I’d be back in about fifteen minutes.” _I promised him he was safe here. Oh, Dieu!_ “He went back to sleep. When I got back, m’ front door was open and everyt’ing was as y’ see it.”

“Have you noticed anything strange lately?” Dave asked next. “Any strange calls, any people outside the house that shouldn’t be there?”

Remy set the bowl of chips on the counter and shook his head. “ _Non_. No hangs ups, no strange cars on de street, none of dat. I been keeping m’ eye out, just to be careful, _mais_ I aint seen anyt’ing.” Fear wasn’t something that Remy dealt with well. He didn’t like to be afraid. But anger…anger was comfortable. He would much rather be angry than afraid. That anger was in his voice and in his body now as he leaned against the counter and glared toward them, demanding “Why are y’ here instead of hunting down dat _fils de putain_? Y’ know he’s de one behind dis!”

“Who?” Emily asked.

Who? Were they kidding him? No sooner had that thought hit than Remy realized that, of course they wouldn’t know. Not only had they not known until tonight that Spencer liked men as well as women, but Spencer just wasn’t the type to tell people that he had a problem. It wasn’t surprising that he kept quiet about Paul. He was so convinced that Paul was harmless and that he could handle him. Now he was going to pay for that belief.

Remy didn’t get a chance to explain his answer. Derek took care of that for him. He looked as if someone had struck him, eyes a little wide and mouth just slightly open. “Paul.” He breathed the word out. “Son of a bitch, I can’t believe I didn’t think of him. _Paul_. But Reid said he’d backed off! That he hadn’t heard from him for quite a while now.”

“He hasn’t.” Remy confirmed. “ _Mais_ dat don’t mean de _homme_ disappeared. I know Spencer was still worried about him. He watches over his shoulder a lot and he don’t like being alone at his apartment no more. He don’t come right out and say it, though. He don’t have to. I understood. Dat’s one of de reasons we stay over here so much instead of dere.”

“Who is Paul?” Aaron interrupted. His serious expression was locked onto Derek.

Derek unfroze all in an instant, the snap from concerned friend to serious agent a change that was easily visible. “Paul is Reid’s ex. The one he had the bad breakup with. The guy was showing signs of being a rejected stalker. He kept calling until Reid had to change his number, would show up at random places, and he even set him a vase of flowers at work one day. They had a bad breakup and Paul wouldn’t accept that it’s over.” Even as he was talking, Derek was pulling out his cellphone and dialing a number. The person must’ve answered because Derek suddenly started to step away at the same time as saying “Not yet, mama. I need you to run down a name for me. Paul Veers.”

That left Remy with the other three agents. He looked at these people, people that Spencer called friends, people that he had trusted with his life countless times already, and he couldn’t stop himself from seeking a reassurance that he knew they couldn’t technically give. “Spencer speaks highly of all of y’. He says dat y’r de best at what y’ do. Y’ll bring m’ man home, won’t y’? Dis Paul, he aint…I mean, he won’t, he won’t hurt him too bad, will he? He won’t kill him?” It took everything Remy had to force those last two words out.

Dave fielded the question, his expression professional, though his eyes held a wealth of sympathy mixed in with his own worries. “Rejected stalkers generally want their significant other back in their life. They want the relationship the way that it used to be. So long as Reid plays it up, makes Paul think that he wants to be with him, then Paul won’t have any reason to hurt him. Reid just has to play into the delusion.”

“And Reid’s a good profiler.” Emily added in. “He’ll know what to do and he’ll do everything he can to stall for time so we can find him. He’ll be looking for a way out the whole time, too.”

A soft sigh ran through Remy and his eyes closed. Those around him saw as he slumped slightly underneath the weight of his worry. “ _Je sais._ I knowhe will. It’s de t’ings he’ll have to do to stall dat worry me.”

No one had any response for that.

CXCX

Spencer woke slowly and very disoriented. Whatever had been on the rag to knock him out left his head feeling fuzzy and jumbled. Luckily, he woke alone. There was plenty of time for him to become fully coherent and to remember what had happened. He remembered the fight in Remy’s house, the rag over his mouth, and then the dark. There were vague memories of movement, something swaying around him, but it was all fuzzy, soaked in whatever drug he’d been given, and his brain couldn’t seem to focus now long enough to really look at anything. The headache he’d had before from his earlier knocks to the head had now come back full force, made worse by the drug—chloroform, it had to be something like chloroform—and it left him feeling like his head was splitting open.

As soon as he could manage to think somewhat past the pain and the fuzziness, he took stock of himself and his surroundings. The agent in him took over and assessed his situation and his wellbeing. What he found was enough to have him wanting to panic. The room around him was a bedroom, one that he was unfamiliar with. He was lying on a bed with his wrists tied with dark blue rope. It was wrapped around both wrists and looped up through the middle in a, a _leash_ , that ran up to the top of the mattress and then disappeared down under the bed somewhere. There were no new marks on him, not that he could feel. At least, not any that couldn’t be attributed to the fight in Remy’s house. But, he became aware of another important fact as he cast his awareness over himself—he was dressed only in his pajama pants. The panic bloomed stronger and he reflexively jerked his hands down, trying to bring them to cover himself, or get them free, he didn’t know. But they were caught up by the rope and stopped before he could move them even an inch. So the rope wasn’t just restraining him, it was a tight leash as well that kept his hands in place above his head.

His panic combined with that sudden movement brought to life the nausea that had been sitting quietly before. His head throbbed and spun and he felt his stomach churn and then rise up his throat. Just barely did he have enough time to roll far to the side before his body was heaving. Everything in his stomach, which admittedly wasn’t much, came racing back up. His head throbbed so badly with the force of his heaving that he didn’t even hear the door to the room open. He had no idea anyone was there until a pair of hands were suddenly on his head, holding back his hair. He was in too much pain to jerk away, even when Paul’s low murmur reached his ears. “Shh, shh, there you go. You got it. Just get it all out, yeah, just like that.”

When the heaves finally stopped, Spencer was weak and dizzy. His body had been through way too much today and the fight and being drugged had only made it worse. It made his body pretty pliant as Paul half lifted him and pulled the blankets out from underneath him. Spencer really tried to wake himself up; he tried hard. But he could barely summon the energy to keep his eyes open to watch as Paul took the dirty bedding out and came back in with clean. The lower half of the bed was made up and then Spencer was partially lifted, bit by bit, so that Paul could make the bed underneath him. Eventually he was lying once more in the center of the bed, on cleaning sheets, and Paul was sitting beside him, wiping his face with a damp cloth. “There now.” Paul murmured. “Isn’t that better?”

Spencer licked dry lips and grimaced at the taste there. Immediately the cloth wiped over his lips, taking the remnants of his sickness away. He wanted to flinch back from Paul’s touch. He wanted to shout at the man to get the hell away from him. Only by sheer will did he manage not to. Antagonizing Paul would be beyond stupid right now, and Spencer was far from stupid. He needed to play this very, very carefully. The defiance he’d shown back at Remy’s couldn’t come out here, wherever ‘here’ was. Swallowing pride, Spencer made himself be the person he knew Paul wanted. “Thank you.” He said politely.

He was rewarded with a beaming smile. “You’re welcome. Anything for you, Spencer. I told you, I’m going to take care of you now.”

It took a lot of effort, but Spencer made himself smile. “Thank you. You always take good care of me.”

“Of course. I love you, Spencer.”

The rag disappeared off his face and Spencer watched through heavy eyes as Paul got up. He reached down and smoothed back a bit of Spencer's hair, smiling down at him. There was a light in his eyes, though. One that had Spencer wanting to shiver. “You just rest here, Spencer.” The man told him. “Just rest. I’ll go out and make you some soup so you can start getting your strength back. You don’t have to worry anymore. I’m here to take care of you now.” With that pronouncement, Paul turned and hurried out of the room.

Though his body was exhausted, Spencer's brain was still running faster than most people’s brains would fully awake. He knew what had happened to him and he knew what was going on here. Paul had taken him so he could ‘take care’ of him. _He’s a stalker who is seeking to have the item of his affections. If I just keep calm and play a part, I can stall for time for the team to find me._ He told himself. That last part was the hope that he had to hold on to. The team _would_ find him. They would come for him. Remy would come home and find him gone, find the signs of a struggle, and he’d call the team in. They’d know that he was taken. From there, it wouldn’t be hard to figure out that it was Paul. Remy and Derek would know and they’d say something. A momentary pang hit Spencer at the thought that his whole team would now know about Paul. But he’d deal with the embarrassment if they just got him out of here!

But there was one thing that Spencer had learned over the years. While he could hope and pray for his team to come and find him, he couldn’t count entirely on that. Sometimes there were just too many things that got in the way, or not enough information. They were the best of the best but they weren’t miracle workers. While they would do everything they could to find him, he needed to be doing everything he could to find a way to get free.

First things first, he had to have his strength to get free. He had to be able to keep his eyes open without exhaustion tugging at him. He needed sleep and he needed food to get his strength back. When Paul got back with the soup, Spencer would eat it, and he’d play his part as best as he could. At the same time, he’d put his famous mind to use and he’d figure a way out of here. Somehow. He had to! Because the alternative didn’t bear thinking about.


	12. Chapter 12

*Warning – Whump ahead*

Sleep had come for Spencer whether he wanted it to or not. There was no denying his body’s exhaustion. It drew him under until he had no real choice. How long he stayed asleep, he had no idea. It felt like one minute his eyes were closing and the room was still semi lit and then the next moment his eyes were opening and it was almost completely dark around him. Just a small sliver of light was coming in underneath the bedroom door. That little light wasn’t near enough to light up the room. Spencer had to fight back the urge to whimper. Though he’d gotten better about the dark, it was still enough to scare him. The few times he’d slept without some form of a light had been because Remy was there with him and he held him through the night. It was hard to be scared when wrapped up in a pair of arms that always seemed to make him feel so safe.

The dark seemed to make everything just a little scarier. Not just in the room; inside his head as well. All he could do was lie here and think about what was going to happen to him. What was Paul going to do? Spencer knew he could play into the man’s delusions, do what he had to do to stay alive long enough for the team to find him or for escape to become possible. But there was always a chance that he would say or do something that would set Paul off. The man definitely wasn’t stable right now. As he’d shown back at the house, it wouldn’t take much to set off his temper. If Spencer wasn’t careful, things could get very bad, very fast. Bad enough and it could shatter Paul’s delusions entirely. The minute that happened, his time would be limited.

Spencer tugged at his bonds, not even hearing the soft whimper that finally broke free. His body felt like it’d been through the wringer. Nonetheless, he tugged and twisted his hands, trying to find any weakness in the rope. Being in the dark made it even more difficult. He couldn’t look up and see what he was doing. All he could rely on was his sense of touch. To focus that even more, he closed his eyes. With them open he kept straining them in the effort to _see_.

Feeling his ropes wasn’t easy. They were well tied around his wrists and kept on a short leash that left him little to no room to move. First things first, he scooted himself up the bed a little, bringing his hands more towards the head. That would give him just a little more slack in his leash. He paused, listening to make sure that there were no sounds to be heard outside his room. When he heard nothing, he kept moving. Though it had his aching body screaming bloody murder at him, Spencer locked his jaw and made himself move, twisting from his back to his side and then from his side to his knees. Another short pause let him listen and assured him that no one was coming. At least, not yet.

The first thing Spencer did was try and feel around his wrists. Since they were hooked together and his hands couldn’t bend down, he had to be creative. He bent down and used his lips and cheek to feel over the rope, hoping to find a knot. If he found a knot then maybe he could use his teeth to pick it free. He let out a frustrated groan when he found that there was nothing for him to reach. The restraint had been well tied. It circled both wrists in multiple layers and was looped around and through in the middle until the ends came out to make the leash. It was like a restraint straight out of some bondage movie or something. Spencer only gave himself a moment to hang his head in frustration. Then he gathered himself back together again. No time to waste on sulking. He needed to act, now, while he was still alone.

He shifted and moved his body further up the bed, trying to get as close to the head of the bed as possible. He had to turn sideways to do it, pressing his left side up against the headboard. Once he was there, he took a bracing breath and shoved the aches to the back of his mind, trying so hard not to focus on them as he bent over. The bruises on his stomach made this an experience in pain that he never again wanted to repeat. It was made worse by the spinning and throbbing in his head from the multiple blows he’d taken. _No, no, don’t focus on that. Focus on this. This is important! Just find a way to get out of here and worry about anything else later!_ That reminder had him gritting his teeth and bending even more. He slipped his hands down between the mattress and the headboard. The leash was down here somewhere, tied off to something under the bed, he assumed. If he could just reach it, then he could maybe untie it and get his hands free.

Spencer twisted and wiggled and did everything he could to get his hands down and under the mattress. After a few minutes, he finally got his hands down low enough. He followed the length of the leash and found that it just went straight down to the slats under the box spring and was tied off there. When he found the knot, he almost sobbed in relief. Immediately he set about trying to untie it.

He’d only started to loosen it just the slightest bit when he heard footsteps out in the hallway. Never before had Spencer moved so fast. He yanked his hands out and almost threw himself down in an effort to lie back before Paul got there. The last thing he needed was for the man to find him picking at the knots.

He got himself lying down, and not a second too soon. Just as he flopped onto his back, the door to the room opened and he had to throw his head to the side and slam his eyes shut against the blinding light. He heard footsteps make their way over to the bed. They stopped and there was suddenly a hand on his face, smoothing back his hair. He couldn’t help how he flinched back from it. Everything in him wanted to recoil from that touch. Only by sheer will did he keep from telling Paul to get the hell away from him.

But his recoil hadn’t gone unnoticed. Without warning, pain snapped across his cheek from a hard backhand. “I see you’re still fighting this. Fighting _me_.” Paul growled out at him.

The tone to his voice had Spencer wanted to shudder. Oh, God. Paul sounded _furious_. This wasn’t the calm, caring man from earlier. This wasn’t the man that wanted to reconcile their relationship and take care of him. This was the part of him that was so very, very angry. Spencer licked his lips, tasting blood from where the slap had split his lip open, and his brain scrambled to try and think of how to defuse the situation. “I-I’m sorry.” He stammered out. “I just, it’s dark and I, I didn’t know…”

Another slap cut his words off quickly. “Shut up!”

When Spencer finally managed to blink his eyes open, he almost wished he hadn’t. Paul was standing at the side of the bed and the light from the open door very clearly showed as he unhooked his belt and started to slide it from the loops. “You’re going to learn.” Paul was telling him. He pulled the belt free and grasped the buckle before looping the rest around his hand twice. “I’ve got to punish you for leaving. You’ve got to learn, one way or another, Spencer.”

Horror gripped Spencer's insides. He clenched his hands uselessly above him. “I won’t run again, Paul. I swear I won’t. Why would I? I need you.” The words almost stuck in his throat but he forced them out. _Play into his delusion!_ “I need you to take care of me.”

The light in Paul’s eyes grew just a little brighter. “I will take care of you, baby. Always. But you need to be punished first. You know you do. You ran away from me. I told you, didn’t I? I told you I’d have to punish you. Now, roll over.”

“Paul, please…!”

“Roll over, or I’ll just use this side. I’m trying to be nice, Spencer. Don’t make me regret it.”

The earlier nausea was back with a vengeance. Spencer looked up at Paul’s face and he knew the man meant every inch of that threat. If Spencer didn’t roll over, then he’d start striking on his front side. While the last thing Spencer wanted was to do anything to encourage what was about to happen, he was practical enough to know that he stood a much better chance of being okay if it was his back and not his front that was hit. Still, it was one of the hardest things he’d ever done, forcing his body to roll over. He couldn’t stop one last plea from slipping free. “Please, Paul. I’m sorry.”

There was a shuffling sound and Spencer heard the man move closer. “You will be.” Paul said.

It was the last thing Spencer heard before the belt made its first of many strikes.

CXCX

The pain seemed to go on forever. From the top of his shoulders down to the back of his knees, he hurt like nothing he’d ever felt before. His resolve not to cry hadn’t lasted anywhere near as long as he’d hoped. His cheeks were streaked in tears now and the bedding under his face was soaked. He was still sobbing lightly when Paul brought a tissue up to his face and gently dabbed at his cheeks. Then the tissue was held up to his nose. “Blow, honey.” Paul said gently. Spencer blew, letting the man wipe his nose like a child.

Paul disappeared again, heading out of the room but leaving the door open, only to be back just a few moments later. He brought with him a pillow that he slipped down underneath Spencer's head. He also had a wet cloth that he used to wipe down the few spots where the belt had actually broken skin. For every whimper, every soft cry that Spencer gave, Paul made soft, soothing sounds, murmuring in a gentle voice almost the entire time. “There, there, Spencer. Shh. I’m just cleaning you up. There you go, that’s it. You’re fine, shh, shh, you’re fine. It’s going to be okay now. You did so good. We’re all done now, Spencer. Now we can start over again. You’ll be okay. I’m going to take care of you now. I’ll always take care of you.”

Somehow Spencer found the strength to think beyond the pain. He forced himself to focus on doing what he knew he had to do. He needed to play his part and keep Paul calm and get him to trust him. It was his best shot at getting free. If he could get Paul to trust him, then the man would slip up somewhere, and Spencer could exploit that. He could get free. Then…then he could go home and go to Remy and never, ever have to think about this, ever again. Keeping all that firmly in mind, he made himself stammer out “T-Thank you f-for taking care of m-me.”

“Of course! I’ll always take care of you, Spencer. Always.” The cloth left Spencer's back and the bed shifted as Paul rose to his feet. “You just rest for a bit while I go take care of some things. I’ll come back when you’ve had a few hours to sleep. Then we can finally get out of here and go start our lives together, the way they’re meant to be.”

“T-Thank you.”

Even after Paul left the room, after turning on a light lamp off in the corner, Spencer lay perfectly still for a while. He gave his body time to rest and he was listening carefully at the same time to make sure that Paul wasn’t going to come back. He’d said a few hours. Maybe he really meant it. Spencer could only hope so. Maybe, just maybe, that would be enough time. Before Paul had come in before, Spencer had been tugging on that knot. A few hours should be plenty enough time for him to get back up there and get that knot free. If he could do that, if he could get his hands free, then he could get out of here. No matter what it took.

A little bit passed before Spencer found the strength to drag himself upwards once more. Every inch of him was screaming at the movements he was putting himself through. He wanted so badly to simply curl up on the bed and let free the sobs that were clenched tight in his throat. But he made himself keep going. He focused on his goal and he kept moving, shifting higher and higher until he was once more at the head of the bed. Then, biting his lip to keep the sound inside, he was slipping his hands down between the top of the mattress and the headboard once more. All the while, he kept his goals in mind, thinking on what would be waiting for him when he got out of here. Thinking of Remy. As he fought to reach the knot once more and to start to make his half-numb fingers work to untie it, he thought of all the things he and Remy could do when this was over. He thought about lying in that great big bed and being tended by someone that really _did_ care about him. For once, he wouldn’t even fight it. He’d just let Remy pamper him for a little while. It would make the both of them feel better.

He thought about that bright smile and the love that shone from those beautiful eyes. He drew up memories of that sexy accent and the way it would thicken with the stronger emotions. He let himself feel the ghost echoes of Remy’s hands running over him, imagining that he was here now, soothing him and encouraging him.

When suddenly the knot finally slipped free, Spencer almost didn’t realize it. He’d been making his fingers move for so long that the motion had become sort of automatic. It was only when his fingers scraped against the wood of the baseboard that he realized he’d done it. For a second he just knelt there in shock. Then some sound inside the house, sounding far from his little room, had him scrambling back into motion. He pulled his hands up quickly and brought the excess rope up with them. He’d done it! Oh, man, he’d done it!

Now was just a matter of getting the rest of it undone. He bent down, using his teeth to pick up the rope and bring it towards him, trying to get to the end. The rope was wrapped multiple times in between his wrists and then, under that, _around_ his wrists. It was going to take time to get that undone.

A sound alerted him that he wasn’t going to have the time he thought. It sounded like someone was starting down the hallway. Spencer's eyes went wide and he stared down at his hands. Then his eyes lifted and his mind raced to figure out something. Anything. He couldn’t let Paul come in here now!

Countless scenarios built and were dismissed in Spencer's mind. Then he focused on one object in the room and another plan built. It was the only one that had any small chance of working. Wasting no more time, Spencer practically threw his aching body out of bed, ignoring the pain as he did so. The footsteps in the hall were getting closer. He raced across the room and quickly grabbed the cord to the lamp, yanking it out of the plug. In the dark room, he fumbled for the lamp, finding it quickly. He yanked the lampshade off and grabbed at the stem, right below the bulb. It was his only weapon in this empty room and he was not afraid to wield it. Determination was filling him from head to toe. He would not go down without a fight and he would not hesitate. Hesitation could get him killed right now. He hefted the lamp up against his shoulder and waited as the doorknob turned and the door slid open. Then, with everything he had in him, he swung.

The lamp connected with a solid thud and shattered. The blow sent Paul flying backwards and almost toppled Spencer as well. He just barely managed to recover and keep his feet. As soon as he did, he dropped what was left of the lamp and shot out the door. Paul was down but he wasn’t out. Spencer had to move fast!

He’d made it to the end of the hall before he heard Paul start to get up. A panicked sound erupted from Spencer and he tried to move faster. He tugged at his hands the whole time, trying to twist and loosen the rope, to get it off before Paul got close. If he was still bound when Paul caught up to him, his chances of surviving this were even less. But he wasn’t that lucky. The rope was barely starting to loosen and Spencer hadn’t even made it to the living room yet when Paul caught him in a flying tackle. The two of them hit the ground with a thud. Spencer couldn’t stop the pained scream that tore free.

Instinct had him kicking out and bucking his body, no matter the pain. Hands on his hips worked to flip him over and Spencer rolled with it, swinging his still bound hands like a club right into the side of Paul’s head. The blow sent the man off to the side and stunned him long enough for Spencer to scramble up and try to move again. He’d barely lunged forward when a hand clamped down on his ankle and yanked him flat once more. “You son of a bitch!” Paul snarled.

“Let! Go! Of! Me!” Spencer shouted. He kicked his feet out with each shout. One of his blows caught Paul right in the face and the man let go of him to grab his nose, cursing loudly.

Spencer shoved at the ground with his arms and pushed up to his knees, then his feet. Terror spurred him forward. He could barely tell where he was going, the fall to the floor having stunned, but when he stumbled forward he recognized the hard surface he stumbled into. A kitchen counter. They’d managed to get to the kitchen. Behind him, Spencer heard Paul climb to his feet, and he tried to move, tried to hurry, but the damn leash part of the rope was dangling behind him and Paul snagged it, giving it a tug that brought Spencer flying back across the small space and slamming into the other kitchen counter. He cried out painfully, trying to grab at something, anything. Paul was coming towards him and there was fury on his face like nothing Spencer had seen before. In that look, he saw his death.

“You little bastard.” Paul yanked on the leash again, knocking him to the ground. “I would’ve given you _everything_!” He pulled up, forcing Spencer to his feet, and then he snapped out with a fist, the force of his blow sending Spencer into the counter once more. “We would’ve been _happy_!”

Spencer’s hands closed over something on the counter and he curled his fingers around it, not thinking, just reacting. Right as Paul stepped up to him, the man tugged on the leash and Spencer swung his hands with the movement, bringing up the cast iron that had been sitting at the stove. He swung with everything he had and brought that pan right against the side of Paul’s head. There was the sound of a loud, sickening crack and Spencer watched in horror as Paul dropped to the ground like a ton of bricks. With his hands still clenched in the leash, Paul’s fall brought Spencer down with him, sending the young genius down right on top of him. He wasn’t ready for it and he fell hard, his body sprawling over the man and his head hitting the ground on the other side, bouncing off. That was the last thing Spencer remembered before everything went dark.

CXCX

The sound of beeping was what woke Spencer. That was a sound that he was far too familiar to waking up to. He knew exactly where he was before he’d even managed to _think_ about opening his eyes. A hospital. He was in a hospital. But…the last thing he remembered was, was that kitchen, and Paul…that blow to the head and then falling with him, hitting the ground. How had he ended up here? Had his team found him? For a moment, he didn’t care. He didn’t care who had found him or how. All he cared about was that they had. He blinked his eyes open and could’ve sobbed in relief when he saw that it was real. He really was in a hospital room!

Everything felt sort of dull and muted. Spencer recognized the sensation of painkillers in his system. At the moment, he could only be grateful. He knew he’d be in a hell of a lot of pain when they wore off.

Something must’ve drawn attention to him because he heard movement at his side suddenly. There was a brief pause and then a hand touched his arm. Even as Spencer twitched, instinctively pulling back, his eyes shot over and he saw who the hand belonged to and everything in him softened. “Spencer?” Remy’s voice was pitched low and careful and there was no denying the worry there. “Oh, _merci Dieu_ , y’r awake.”

That voice was the single most beautiful thing Spencer had ever heard. A soft sigh ran down his body and the tension that had been with him since he’d woken up and seen Paul now drained out of him. “Remy.” His voice was soft, just a scratchy whisper, but it carried a wealth of love to it.

Remy lifted a shaky hand and brushed some of Spencer's hair back from his face. His eyes were lit up with so much love it warmed Spencer's heart. “ _Oui,_ cher, it’s me. I’m here.”

“H…How?”

Thankfully, Remy understood his question. “A neighbor called in strange sounds. De local police showed up and found y’ two. Dey rushed y’ in here and called y’r team once dey realized who y’ were.” His hand kept up its gentle stroking, fingers running softly through his hair. It was so soft, so soothing. The touch that he’d been wishing for so badly through this whole ordeal.

There were countless other questions that Spencer wanted to ask. So many things he wanted to know. But his exhaustion and the medication were combining to draw him back under once more. His eyes drifted shut against his will. Ever so softly, he heard Remy’s soothing murmur, lulling him down. “Rest, _mon amour._ Y’ rest now. Y’r safe. I’m watching over y’, so y’ just rest.”

With that angel’s voice in his ear, Spencer smiled as he drifted off to sleep.


	13. Chapter 13

The evening air was cool and crisp as Spencer settled in a little more into the glider. He tucked his arms carefully around himself and leaned more to his side than against his back. As comfortable as he could be, he stared out at the slowly darkening sky from his seat on the back porch. All around him were the sounds of the forest at night. Crickets chirping, the breeze blowing through the trees, the rustle of branches and leaves. Behind him, he heard the warm sounds of home, of family. A family he’d never expected to have and one that he never wanted to lose. The deep sound of Remy’s laughter mixed with the higher sounds of Belle’s and Andrei’s and it brought a smile to Spencer's lips. He was truly blessed with the people he had in his life. Maybe he’d never expected to find himself a family like this, but it had found him and they weren’t letting go.

Only four days had passed since Spencer had left the hospital. It took three days in the hospital before Spencer was allowed to leave. Even then, he practically had to beg to get his doctors to sign his release forms. But after some quick talking on his part and some promises from Remy to watch over him, the doctor had eventually signed the release forms and Spencer was sprung. From the hospital, he was immediately whisked to Remy’s house where he spent the next three days. In that time, Spencer went into the Bureau, taking care of making his statements and dealing with all the legalities. Paul had been arrested and everything had to be documented for when he went to trial. When finally they were done with him, Spencer went back to Remy’s and they packed themselves up, packed up Belle and Andrei, and they made their way up here to the one quiet little sanctuary that Spencer had—Gideon’s cabin.

The idea to come here had been mostly Andrei’s. Or, at least, the idea to get away. From there, Spencer had thought of Gideon’s cabin. Thinking of that had Spencer's lips curving. He remembered when Andrei had come in with Belle to see him while in the hospital. Remy had warned him that the little boy was frantic with worry. All he knew was that Spencer had been hurt and he wasn’t going to settle until he saw him. So, Spencer had given his permission for them to come and visit.

Their timing had been, of course, just perfect. Spencer was lying propped up in bed, talking with Remy, Derek, Emily and Penelope when there was a knock at the door. A second later, two heads came poking in, and Spencer hadn’t been able to stop from smiling. It was Belle with Andrei in one arm and a vase of flowers with a balloon in the other. “Would y’ look at dat? Looks like we’re just in time fo’ de party.” She teased. Stepping into the room, she set Andrei down on the ground. Immediately the little boy raced over to the bed. Remy, who was sitting on the bed by Spencer's hip, reached down and caught him, drawing him up into his lap. Those bright blue eyes turned to Spencer and they were wide and worried. “Hey, Spencer.” He said softly.

“Hey, Andrei.” Spencer said back just as softly.

Andrei bit his bottom lip and peeked out through his curls. “Mama said you…you got hurt.”

It was the most shy that Spencer had ever seen the little boy. It was also more than he could take. There was no way he could resist trying to soothe the fear he saw in that little boy’s sweet face. Shifting just slightly in his bed, forcing himself not to wince, he made a small space right next to him. Then he lifted his hands out. That was all the encouragement that Andrei needed. He scrambled out of Remy’s lap and right up to Spencer's side. The young genius only winced a little when the small body snuggled right up against him, one arm wrapping over his stomach in a half hug. He saw Remy start to protest and shook his head minutely, letting him know that it was okay. Then he wrapped his arm around Andrei in return and held him close. Only when Andrei was firmly against his side did Spencer finally answer him. “Your Mama’s right, I did get hurt. But the doctors here are taking care of me and making sure that I get better.”

“An Papa’s taking care of you too, right?”

Remy and Spencer shared an amused look. “ _Oui_ , petit.” Remy said fondly, patting Andrei’s knee. “Y’r Papa’s taking care of Spencer, too.”

That seemed to set the boy at ease. His little body relaxed and he tipped his head to flash a smile up at Spencer. “Mama and I broughts a balloon and some flowers. Did you see? Mama let me pick em out all by m’self!”

Looking up, Spencer saw Belle standing near the foot of the bed, grinning at him. She’d set the flowers and balloon on the counter across from the bed. “And y’ picked out a great one, Roo.” She reassured him.

Spencer stroked some of the curls back from Andrei’s face and smiled down at him. “You did. I like them very much, thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Andrei said seriously. Then his smile grew a little brighter and, with a child’s enthusiasm and innocence, he moved beyond Spencer's injuries, reassured by their words, and onto what were important topics in his world. “You gotta get better so you and Papa can come camping with me and Jimmy in Mama’s backyard. Papa says you tell de bestest stories. Me and Jimmy wanna hear de stories about de stars like de guy in de book. Mama says there’s lots of stories about stars. Do you know any of those ones?”

After reassuring the little boy that, yes, he knew stories about the stars, Spencer had stopped for a moment to think. Then he’d slowly said, “You know, I’ll talk to your Papa and Mama and maybe, once I’m a little better, we can go stay up at a very nice cabin in the woods. I have one that a very dear friend of mine gave to me when he moved away. There, we can sit outside and see thousands and thousands of stars, and I’ll tell you plenty of stories. We can even go down to the little lake nearby and swim, if the weather’s nice.”

“But I don’t know how to swim.”

“Dat’s all right, petit. We’ll teach y’.” Remy said, smoothing a hand over Andrei’s hair. He met Spencer's eyes over the little boy’s head and smiled at him. “It sounds like a great idea to me. A perfect place fo’ y’ to go and recover, _non_?”

Wide eyed, Andrei looked to Belle. “Can we, Mama?”

She smiled at him. “I don’t see why not. It sounds real nice. I’m sure y’ll have a _bon_ time with y’r Papa and Space.”

Surprised, Spencer looked up from the boys and over to Belle. “You’re not coming?”

“Course she is!” Andrei protested. He looked up at Belle now, too. “Right, Mama? You gotta come. Our whole family’s gotta be dere.”

And that, as they said, was that. The little family made their plans to escape to Gideon’s cabin as soon as they were able. While they discussed their plans, Andrei had stayed plastered against Spencer's side, but he’d turned his attention to the three agents still in the room. Within moments he’d charmed them all. It wasn’t any real surprise that he’d fallen for Penelope. Her bright and cheerful personality always seemed to set kids at ease and Andrei was just as cheerful and bubbly as she was. He’d chattered away happily with them, telling stories all about his Papa and his Space and listening avidly when they told their stories about Spencer in return. Eventually, Andrei had drifted off to sleep right up against Spencer, and to his later embarrassment, Spencer wasn’t far behind. He’d passed out not long afterwards.

He’d had two other visitors while in the hospital. The officer who’d been hurt on that last case, Evans, stopped in to see him, and Spencer's relief had been huge at seeing that the man was truly going to be okay. And the victim they’d saved, Joe Boston, he’d stopped in as well. His heartfelt thanks had left Spencer flustered and embarrassed. But he was happy to know that the young man was going to be okay. It would take time, some counseling, but he would make it. Before he left, Spencer had made sure to give him his contact information, telling him he could call any time he just needed to talk.

Spencer was drawn abruptly from his thoughts when he heard a door open. Snapped back to the present moment, he turned his head and looked across the porch, watching as Remy stepped outside. The man carried a blanket with him and he was smiling when he turned towards Spencer. “Y’r gonna freeze y’rself out here, cher.” He scolded teasingly.

As Remy strolled over to him, Spencer let himself admire the lean form inside those well-worn jeans and dark grey turtleneck. Not for the first time he thought to himself just how lucky he’d gotten. He knew his love showed in his eyes and on his face. He watched as Remy saw it and everything about him softened. When he reached the glider, he bent down and took a quick kiss first, pouring his own love into it. “Y’ make m’ heart sing when y’ look at me like dat, _bébé._ ”

“Like what?” Spencer asked. He shifted as Remy sat down beside him.

The two took a second and adjusted with each other until Remy was tucked into the corner of the glider and Spencer was settled against his side. It had only been a week total since Spencer had been injured and his body was still healing, so they had to be careful about how they sat together. But eventually they were snuggled up with the blanket draped over them. Only then did Remy take another kiss. He stroked his thumb over Spencer's cheek and looked down into his eyes as he answered his question. “Y’ look at me like I’m de most important t’ing in y’r world.”

Oh. Turning towards Remy’s hand, he pressed a kiss against his palm and then snuggled back in, dropping his head to Remy’s shoulder. “That’s because you are.” He said simply.

The arm Remy had around him gave a careful squeeze. “ _Je t’aime,_ Spencer.” The words were said huskily, full of emotion. Hearing them never failed to make Spencer's heart thrill. “I love you too.”

As the two sat there together and stared out at the night sky, watching the stars slowly start to come to life, Spencer thought to himself just how much his life had changed. How blessed he’d become. He’d never pictured himself in a situation like this. He’d always figured that he was going to end up growing old alone. Oh, he knew he’d have his friends. He’d play Uncle and he’d have a part in their lives. That, he didn’t doubt. Not anymore. But he’d never pictured that he would reach a place like this. Sitting on the back porch watching the stars with the man he loved at his side, holding him close. Or with two people inside the house who he had come to consider just as much family as anyone else. Belle treated him like he was her brother and there was no denying that Andrei had captured Spencer's heart.

“Whatcha t’inking about, cher?” Remy murmured. His head had dropped down and his cheek was resting against Spencer's hair.

“How lucky I am.” Spencer answered honestly. “I never expected to find anyone like you, Remy. It never fails to amaze me that you care about me. That you’re still here, especially after all this.”

“Where else would I be? I love y’, Spencer. Y’r m’ heart. Dere aint nowhere else dat I’d rather be dan with y’.”

“Not everyone would’ve stuck around through all this stuff with…with Paul.” Just saying the man’s name was enough to have Spencer shivering. His body was starting to heal, but the injuries on the inside, the ones that no one could see, would take a lot longer to heal. That was yet another area that he knew he was blessed for having Remy. The man didn’t pressure him, didn’t make him feel like he was overreacting to anything. When the nightmares hit at night, as they had every night since the incident, Remy was there to hold him and help him through them, never making him feel weak. Instead, he seemed to wrap Spencer in his strength, helping him hold himself together until Spencer could find his own strength once more. “I don’t know if I would’ve made it through this without you, Remy.”

He felt Remy shift and a kiss was pressed against the crown of his head. “Y”r stronger dan y’ t’ink. Y’ would’ve made it through all dis just fine. _Mais_ , y’ don’t need to worry about it. I aint going anywhere. Not’ing is gonna chase me away from y’, _mon amour_.”

Spencer smiled and snuggled in just a little closer. It was worth the small ache just to be able to sit here like this and absorb the feel of being in Remy’s arms. There was no place on earth he felt safer or more comfortable. Here, he was always free to be himself, and he knew he would always be safe. Remy would never hurt him. No matter what fears Paul had put in him, Spencer knew he didn’t have to fear Remy. Even when he occasionally flinched from Remy’s touch, it wasn’t because of Remy himself. Time would eventually heal Spencer's wounds inside and out. And Spencer knew in his heart that Remy would be there with him through it all.

Once more the back door opened and Spencer was brought out of his thoughts. This time it was Belle and Andrei. The two hurried out, Belle carrying a tray that held steaming mugs of what smelled like homemade hot chocolate, a secret recipe she refused to tell him but that was absolutely delicious.

Andrei raced straight over to the glider. Spencer moved just enough that there was plenty of room on Remy’s lap for the little boy to come climbing up. He settled in and immediately looked to Spencer. “Will you tell us a story, Space? Mama said I had to wait till we were done making cocoa and we’re done now, so can you tell us a story about de stars?”

The three adults couldn’t help but laugh at the barely restrained excitement. Spencer sat himself up a little more, gratefully accepting the cup that Belle handed him. She handed one to Remy as well and then surprised Spencer by folding herself to the ground near their feet. She settled back against the railings of the porch and looked up at him, her own mug cradled in her hands. “ _Oui_ , Space. Tell us a story.” She teased him.

Amused, Spencer looked around at his little family, all of them watching him, eagerly waiting for their story. A small, broken part inside of Spencer warmed and healed over. His heart filled to bursting with love for these people. That loved shone in his eyes and smile. “Okay.” He adjusted his seat, cradling his mug and balancing it on one knee as he sifted through his mind for a story. It only took him a moment to think of what he wanted. Once he had it, he smiled. “Okay.” He said again. “Let me tell you the story of Perseus and Andromeda.”

In the dark of the porch, with the stars coming to life in the sky, Spencer's warm voice filled the cool evening air, spinning a tale for his family. “Cepheus and Cassiopeia, the king and queen of Ethiopia, had a daughter called Andromeda…”

_Finis_


End file.
